Case Closed (Hariana | H.S & A.G)

Part 40: Haunting Truth

...

"If tomorrow my company goes under I will just start another paper company. And then another and another and another. I have no shortage of company names." I hear my favorite TV show character ever, Michael Scott, say. I love watching The Office, I've seen every episode over 10 times each, it always makes me feel better and that's what I need.

I'm scrolling through Twitter and I'm seeing a lot of tweets about Harry and I from last night. Some people got photo's of us interacting both onstage and off which is kinda uncomfortable but also very cute. I looked so happy, I was so happy. It's strange to think about because it sounds like it was so long ago but it wasn't, it was yesterday night. As I'm scrolling I get interrupted as my phone begins vibrating. I'm getting a call from Judd Apatow which I wasn't expecting. I hope everything's okay.

"Hello?" I say as I answer my phone.

"Hey Ari! What's up? How have you been?" he asks, he seems upbeat and happy. It's been awhile since Judd has called me just to catch up and talk.

"Pretty good, exhausted" I admit and he mumbles in approval. I love Judd but I'm getting kinda uncomfortable and awkward. I would love to catch up, hear about his life and kids but I don't think I can. I'm too paranoid that there's something else he's calling for and I can't just keep up any small talk. "What are you calling for Judd? Give it to me straight" I say with a laugh. I don't want to offend him and I'm sure he knows that.

"I just uh- I wanted to call to let you know beforehand. You know before anything gets released. The notes you gave me for my last movie, uhm. I consulted the other writers and producers and we didn't end up using them" he says as I try to think back to the lunch Judd and I had a couple months ago. He showed me some clips of this upcoming movie, I can't remember the name of it. But there were a few scenes that I didn't like and I suggested some edits. It kinda sucks that they didn't listen to them but I guess I can't take it too personal.

"Oh okay. They were that bad huh?" I ask. I know Judd will be honest with me, he always pushes me to be the best I can be. I've been struggling lately with work and trying to write. I use to be so good, I mean I even got an Academy Award nomination for my writing. I hope I'm not falling off, that's my biggest fear. I always want to work hard and get better, not worse.

"Honestly Ari, no. It was fantastic. I really pushed for them to make the edits but they just didn't want to" he admits. That's a relief. Although, I don't understand why they wouldn't take my advice, don't they want to make their project better?

"Oh, well thanks for that. Is there- is there a reason they didn't like the edits?" I ask. "I mean I wasn't trying to offend anyone, the movie was still really good" I add. Maybe they didn't take my edits because they thought I was trying to fix their movie, like what they created wasn't good enough.

"No, they weren't offended, just kinda arrogant. You know how these people can be. Your edits would have really helped but they wouldn't even look at them. I was thinking about giving the edits to them myself so they thought it came from me but I care about you more. You deserve the recognition and if they don't want it, then that's their mistake" he adds and I immediately start to feel uneasy.

"Wait, they didn't even look at the edits because they came from me? What did I do to them?" I don't even know who these other guys are. I don't think I've ever made such a bad impression on anyone in this business, I try to let my work speak for itself and be kind to everyone. I know I'm young but I want people to know that I'm serious about my career and have the talent to go far so, why would someone not think I'm qualified to give good enough input?

"Nothing, I think they just- they got distracted by your reputation. Everything is so black and white with these guys" he admits, I'm glad Judd is trying to be honest but I still don't understand what he means.

"What do you mean? What's my reputation?" I ask. In all honesty I thought my only reputation in this business was being a young girl who's managed to make people laugh time and time again. I have rarely, if ever come across negative or hurtful reviews of my work from critics.

"I think they see your relationship as a reason why your qualifications aren't enough" he admits.

"What do you mean? I don't get why my relationship has anything to do with my writing" I argue..

"I completely agree, I mean I don't want to judge your relationship either. In fact I know how smart you are, I think that should reflect your relationship not the other way around. The media coverage, the on and off drama, the fact that Harry Styles is well- Harry Styles, they think you're not mature enough to work with them" he admits.

"Well couldn't they just read my edits and see that the work speaks for itself?" I question. This just doesn't make sense, they're the ones who sound immature.

"Even if they did I don't think they like the idea of you being tied to the movie, even if it's just a small mention in the end credits. Ari I'm not gonna lie, it's been pretty difficult to get people to want to work with you because of your relationship. I know it's stupid and you probably don't want to hear it but it's the truth. Comedians don't care about fame, you get a lot of media attention and that's what they don't like. They don't like the idea of Harry Styles or his boy band. I mean I know Harry, i love him, they're representation of him is just completely black and white. But let me give you some advice, don't change your relationships with the people you love to work with some idiots. You have the talent and work ethic to make it without them" he says.

"That- that's still bullshit! I can't get work because of my personal life? I just- ugh. I mean thanks for telling me Judd. I appreciate it. It just- it sucks" I admit, my heart is broken.

"Well I care about you, and I know you don't deserve it. I admire you and I have faith in you Ari, know your worth" he admits and I nod my head even though I know he can't see it. We talk for a little bit more since it would be uncomfortable to just end our call on such a sour note. Once we hang up I want to smash my phone against the wall. It's not fair! I shouldn't have to deal with this. Things have gone so far. People keep telling me to know my worth yet I always just feel like shit. I hate everything, I hate Harry. He's the reason I can't even do what I love, the one thing that I've worked so hard for and tried so carefully to build up. I already struggled because of my age to have people to take me seriously and now Harry is just ruining everything. I don't know if he's worth it anymore. I don't know if staying with him is the right idea, I must look like an idiot.

...

"He's a piece of shit Amy! A complete piece of shit! It's disgusting, he makes me feel disgusting, he's disgusting! I just- I hate him! Like what the fuck! And he doesn't tell me anything, he doesn't give me a heads up, he doesn't give me any warning, he doesn't even fucking talk about it!" I exclaim as I talk to Amy over the phone.

Harry was currently out doing some promotion for his dumbass album and as it gets closer to coming out more and more is being revealed about the songs and who they're about. Unfortunately, it's coming from the media and the internet rather than from Harry. His album is coming out in just a few weeks and so is some documentary on how the whole thing is made, which I had no idea about. Some trailer came out today and fans of Harry's caught a screenshot of the lyrics to Two Ghosts. Apparently that song is about Taylor Swift, it's so obvious and Harry never even told me. Not only that, I've been told by some people close to Harry's management that Carolina is about some girl Harry met a few weeks before me, she's gorgeous, and her name is fucking included in the song. I'm pissed, I hate Harry, I hate him, I hate him.