Case Closed (Hariana | H.S & A.G)

Part 37: Just Returning a Favour

"Merry Christmas Ari!" I hear Gemma yell as she throws a sofa cushion at my head and I can't help but burst out laughing as I throw one back at her. It was currently Christmas day and I'm spending it with Harry and his family in England. It's pretty chill, it's just Harry's close family and a couple of his cousins and what not so there's not too many people around. It's nice to just be hanging out with Harry's family, the holiday season always feels so warm and cozy and his family is so inclusive it makes things feel really good. I watch as Gemma tries to dodge the pillow before looking at me and we both burst out laughing and without even saying a word I know we're both laughing at the weird sound she made as she tried to dodge it.

"What are you two laughing about?" I hear Harry ask as he walks into the room. He's wearing a big, comfy sweater and looks so cute. I watch as he comes and sits next to me as he puts his arm around me and I just shake my head.

"Nothing, Gemma's just an idiot" I joke while Gemma continues to laugh and Harry gives me a kiss. "I want your sweater" I admit as I direct my attention on to him and he clearly finds my statement amusing as it makes him laugh.

"You want all my clothes" he rebuttals and I nod my head, he's right.

"Ugh I don't know what you two are saying but get a room!" I hear Gemma yell as she throws another cushion as us. This time Harry grabs the cushion and throws it back at her.

"Alright you guys, settle down! It's almost time for Christmas dinner come and put some food on your plates" I hear one of Harry's uncles say as he comes in and turns on the TV. I know he's only telling us that so he can watch BBC in peace and I find that hilarious. He reminds me of my dad, I kinda wish he was here but he wanted to spend the holidays with his friends and I'm fine with that as long as he's happy. I don't know how he did it, mainly because he won't tell me but Harry has somehow gotten back in my dad's good graces and it's nice to know my dad no longer hates him.

"Yeah, yeah. If you could you'd have everybody out of the house so you could just relax by yourself" Gemma teases as the three of us walk out and into the kitchen. As I walk in I see Anne tidying up by putting some food and pots and pans away so I decide to help her.

"Ah, thank you Ari" she says with a smile as we clean up. I notice Harry grab a plate for me and put some food on it that he knows I want before placing it besides his. I don't know why it's surprising to me that I'll be sitting beside him, I mean I'm sure it would be weird if I didn't. Although, I'm pretty comfortable with most of Harry's family, mainly Gemma, Anne, and Robin and wouldn't mind sitting with them instead. Once I'm done helping Anne I take my seat next to Harry as I wait for everyone to come and join us at the table.

"You know me so well" I giggle as Harry pours me some ice tea, my favorite drink. After he's done he wraps his arms around my waist as he pulls me closer to him while lightly kissing my cheek even though I'm sitting in a completely different chair than him but I pull him away from me. Even if I'm comfortable around his family, I'm still not into PDA in front of them. Once everyone is sitting down we begin to eat, Harry's family is so strong and close it's really nice. It makes the holidays really feel special.

"That is really beautiful Ari" I hear one of Harry's aunt's say to me and I just blush. I know she's referring to the necklace Harry got me for Christmas that I'm currently wearing. It's one of the few gifts he got me and out of everything he and his family gave me, it's by far the prettiest.

"Thank you" I say with a smile, I don't know her as well and I don't like talking about materialistic things so I just feel so awkward. Thankfully Harry takes the pressure off of me by talking to his aunt and even teasing her husband for not getting her one.

Once we're all done eating everyone heads into the main room to just hang out. We decide to watch The Polar Express, one of my favourite Christmas movies and I'm feeling so safe and secure. I'm laying on the couch, cuddling up to Harry and everything just feels so perfect. I wish that it was.

...

"Harry, I'm tired" I whine as I lay on his bed. The movie just ended and everyone has headed up to their bedrooms for the night. I hear Harry chuckle as begins to take off his clothes, he usually sleeps in his boxers and tonight's no different.

"Alright, we can go to bed right away, I'm ready to go to sleep too... Do you want my shirt?" he asks and I nod my head as he tosses me his grey sweater. I love sleeping in his clothes, they're oversized and comfortable plus they always smell good because of his cologne. I quickly change into his shirt while keeping the leggings I was wearing today still on as I pull his blanket over me and make myself comfortable. I feel Harry get into the bed beside me as he wraps his arms around me, his muscles are so big, I always forget just how fit he really is.

"Goodnight" I say softly as I lay my head on his chest, I feel him give my forehead a kiss before rubbing my back slowly.

"I love you Ari" he whispers before loosening his grip on me as he begins to go to fall asleep. I listen as his heartbeat slows down and he begins to snore. I guess he really was tired, I wish I was too. I haven't had a good night's sleep in so long, I can't sleep, as much as I want to, I can't get myself to actually really go through with it.

I turn to look over at Harry, he's fast asleep. There's a part of me that wants to just get up and leave right now and never come back. He's not the same guy I fell in love with, there's no way he is. Maybe he never was. The man I fell in love with was sweet, caring, and faithful. I don't know if Harry possesses any of those qualities, if he did he wouldn't make an album like that. I don't think I could ever look at him the same way ever again. The album. That stupid fucking album. We haven't really even talked about it. I didn't have to say anything other than 'I love it' for Harry to believe me, I don't know if it's because he's so nervous for my reaction or because he was so cocky about himself that he couldn't tell something's wrong. But I'm not gonna leave him.

Not yet anyway. We've been through too much, he's done too much for me. He's been there for me through so much, I have to be there for him too. If I leave him it feels like I can't handle the attention being on him and that's not true. It's always about me, how I'm feeling, how I'm doing, I want to show Harry that I can be the same way. Even if I don't want to be with him, I owe him. He's gonna be entering a pretty big new chapter in his life. I don't want to make myself the centre of attention and I don't want him to be hurting over a breakup while releasing his solo album. As much as I don't really care about his album or success, I feel like if I leave him everyone, including Harry is gonna think I just can't handle being there for him like he's there for me.

So I'll stay. For now. I'll be his backbone, I'll return the favour, and then I'm done. I'm trying to be open about this whole thing though. I mean I'm trying to find reasons to stay forever, I'm trying to convince myself that Harry is still the same guy I love but it's impossible. He's disgusting, I can't stand him or his way of life. I can't even bare to look at him, even now. I have to turn over so my back is facing him just to have a chance to fall asleep tonight.