Chapter Twelve

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Hating Daniel Tyson is the hardest thing ever. Especially when all you want is to forgive him and have his arms wrapped around you, specifically because you miss how comfortable and at home it feels. Hating Daniel is like hating your own home: you can't. I'm supposed to hate him, I know it, he knows it, everyone knows it. Yet for some reason, I don't hate him. I'm just really REALLY mad at him.

I've cried and yelled ever since that fucking FaceTime call. Can you blame me? The person you are starting to care about more and more totally rips your feelings in half, all because I didn't want to share the story of my dad. Because I didn't tell him about my father, now I'm ugly and closed off. I want to tell him, trust me, but I'm not ready. No one knows this story, Ariel only knows the outcome. No one knows the real me, how I came to be.

Daniel said he was sorry through a fucking note, like we were in 5th grade. There's no room for me to criticize him for the way he apologized, I didn't give him the chance to say it verbally. I'm just so hurt.

That note was given to me yesterday, and Daniel has given me the room that I needed. It's funny, this is the second time I'm avoiding him. This time, I actually needed the space. I have a valid reason. He left me alone all of today, so sitting in my last class all I can think about is what I'm gonna do with him.

I want to forgive him, but is that right? I don't think it is because I don't want to get hurt again. If you let it slide once, it'll continue.

I miss him! I miss him so much!

The bell rings, interrupting my thoughts. Walking out of the building as fast as I possibly can takes up most of my thoughts, it being my only priority. Running into Daniel would absolutely kill me, because I would start crying and jump into his arms.

And I'm not one who likes to appear weak.

Keeping my head down and my eyes on the ground, I speed through the hall and outside as I silently thank God for letting me out. On a normal day, John meets me at the front door and we leave together but today he's not here. Getting curious and slightly worried, I pull out my phone and text him.

As I get into my car and drive away from school, my mind begins to wander

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As I get into my car and drive away from school, my mind begins to wander. A few weeks ago, I decided that Daniel was worth the heart ache, and to be honest I'm not all that heart broken. I'm just hurt. Really hurt. This may just be a temper issue, and he said he was sorry. Yes, it was through a sorry ass note, but maybe he really meant it?

A honk from behind me startles me back into reality, and I realize I'm at the front of a stop light. I shake my head, clearing all my thoughts and start to drive back home.

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach where you feel like doing really stupid because it may actually be worth it? That's how I feel right now. Something is telling me not to go home.

So I don't.

Instead I pull over at a store and pull out my phone.

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[A/N]

Hi loves! Filler chapters are the worst amiright??? So school started a couple days ago for me so.... I'm going to be in for hella homework. I'm so sorry if I take extra long for updates, I promise I'll try not to, but y'all stuck with me when I was grounded so hopefully y'all stick with me now :) what do y'all think Nida should do? Stay mad for a little longer or forgive him? I know it seems like she gonna forgive him now but anything could happen. I love you all so much. Sorry its so short. Bye homies

~ Erica Letta

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