Personal {klance}

Three months.

Gonna try to make my chapters longer
Also this is for you @HeckinKeith
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Its been three months since Keith last been to school.
Three months.

No one knew where he was. Nor did people really care. He was a hot topic for a while. Rumors about him over dosing on drugs or dropping out. But which each rumor Lance McClain got more and more worried.
-
"Okay so like- what if this happened because I took him to the consolers?" He questioned to Pidge who looked up from her notebook with a raised eyebrow.
"You're talking about Keith again aren't ya'?"

"Again? Yes. Im really worried and like- the day after I took him to the counselors he didn't come back,"he said anxiously as he tapped his foot. "Do you think it's because of me?"

"Calm down Lance. Its not because of you. He probably look too many heroin shots and became a total druggie," Pidge mumbled heartlessly as she didn't care for Keith much. "Now Common, we need to work on this project,"

-•Three months ago, at the Kogane household•-

"Why wont you listen to me?!" Keith basically screaming at his father. Hot tears rolling down his cheeks as he made sure to be a few feet away from him. His voice trembled as his shoulder shook. "You're not even listening! Give me a chance to-"

He let out a choked gasp as he was pinned against the wall. His fathers cold hand wrapped around his neck. "You're a pathetic little thing. I told you if i got one more phone call from the school I'd kill ya." Jason spat. His grip only tightening on Keiths neck which caused the smaller boy to claw at the hand. Desperately trying to get away. Desperately wanting to leave and run far away. This was it. This was Keiths end. He felt himself begin to grow slightly light headed. His lungs on fire, screaming for air. They felt like they were caving in, breaking, shriveling up. He was going to die. He was going to die at his fathers hands.

"Jason give the boy a break," his mother said in a monotone. "I cant hear my show over all that sound,"

Jason glanced to Keith with narrow eyes. Letting go of his neck but moving his hands to his hair. Grabbing a fit full of keiths black locks and dragging him upstairs. Not even caring that his own son was wheezing and basically coughing his lungs out. But Keith allowed his semi limp body to be forcefully dragged up the stairs.

Actually throwing him into his room. Jason locked Keiths door and shuffled down stairs. Grumbling in anger.

Why. Why me? Why did it have to be like this? Why was my life this shitty? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? How can I fix my mistake?

There he laid. Limp on the stained carpet of his bedroom. He wasn't even crying. No, maybe on the outside he wasn't. But on the inside he was screaming. He was screaming for anything- anyone. He wanted help. He needed help. He wanted someone to find him and hold him close. Telling him that everything was gonna be okay.

But it wasn't okay. And its never going to be okay. He wasn't going to have someone to hold him, someone to love him for who he was. Someone to kiss all his flaws away; to kiss away all his hurt so he was happy again.

But he'll never get that Person.
He didn't want to hurt them.

You see he did the math. When Person A, in this case Keith; weights per say 1,000 pounds with all their life problems. Every single problem, their family life, School life, social life, insecurities. All their problems weight 1,000 pounds.

And Person B only weights 100 pounds with all their problems.

Now say Person A and B get together, in a relationship. Where people rely on each other to help cary each others burdens. Person A will crush Person B with all their problems. Dragging Person B into a unneeded hardship.

Hence hurting them. And keith didn't want to hurt anyone. He didn't want anyone to be as emotionally damaged as he was. He couldn't risk finding love.

So there he laid. Basically hopeless. There was no light for him. There never was. And no matter how much longer he says alive there never will be light.

So there was only on option.

— hello children who get triggered please skip the rest of this chapter because there is selfharm ;')—

The only options was suicide.
I mean like all the dots add up? He has a shitty life, shitty parents, shitty house, shitty school life shitty everything. It's obvious what even god put him here has just given up on him. So he sat up. Looking around the room before his eyes landed on his nightstand. He crawled over and opened the small wooden door. Searching before his eyes landed on a small, shiny piece of metal. He reached forward grabbing the tiny piece of steel between his fingers. He wasn't gonna go slow with this. He rolled his sleeves up and looked down to his soft, scarred flesh. He hadn't done this in a month.

Days Clean: 0

He dragged the blade across the veins on his wrist. Gasping out as his arms instantly began shaking. Blood not just oozing, but blood drained from his arm onto the floor. Staining the carpet crimson red. He swiped the blade over and over on his arm. His mind blurred from the pain. His skin turning pink around each deep cut as blood cascaded from each one.

He was done about after 20 on each arm. Right at the vein. He grew light headed. He began to sway. The room was spinning. He couldn't see. He couldn't breath.

He couldn't feel anything.

Everything seemed to
Stop.

;') forgive me
- chris