Behind Closed Doors (CAMREN)

Chapter 14

Lauren's POV

"You can't do this shit anymore Lauren!" Lucy enunciates. "For fuck's sake, Silver already lost one parent and hell she can't have zero."

I stared blankly at her, a façade I put up now. She had been picking up Silver after daycare once she had gotten the call that I wasn't there one day. She had to go to the daycare to help then when Silver was being mean, and I didn't answer the phone. In fact, I don't remember what I did with that thing. It's probably lost under a pile of sheets.

"Lauren you are losing yourself!" Lucy grabbed my shoulders and shook them staring into my eyes.

You could only find me in the studio or at him with something powerful in my hand. I was a machine, I had no feels, and that is what work did for me. I released everything, but I distracted myself doing it.

"You are losing Silver!" Lucy grabbed my face and made me look in her eyes. Streaks of emotion fell them. I almost wanted to reach up and stop them, but I didn't.

I wasn't much of a person at the moment you could say. I wasn't much of anything. I worked and slept and had a drink every once in a while. I tried to talk Silver, but that ended up with screaming on both sides. She was mad at me; I was one when she wanted two. I was tired and couldn't handle myself, and I couldn't handle the next me. I was a robot, and I ran on coffee. I had red eyes, perfect clothes, emotionless eyes, and emotional music.

"You act like I ever wanted Silver!" I snap back at her abruptly standing up making her stumble back. I didn't notice how she winced on her bad leg, but she kept standing "If it weren't for her, none of this damn shit would have ever happened."

"You're not mad at Silver, you are mad at Austin," Lucy attempts to reason with me. But she was talking to a brick wall.

"You know nothing," I growled. "I never wanted a daughter at this time. I never wanted to have one be forced on me."

"Silver is the best damn thing that has ever happened to you," Lucy growls. Both of us were panting; rage filled us to the brim. "Maybe you should sign those papers now."

"Get out!" I yell at her. "Get the hell out!" I pointed at the door.

My chest rose up and down rapidly. I stood stiffly with my hands down at m sides clenched in a fist.

"Silver is staying at my place tonight," Lucy's instructs me as she walks out of the door.

"You aren't her mother are you?" I walk up behind her and roughly walk past her making my shoulder hit her's harshly making her stumble.

She pushes me back forcefully. "I may not be her birth mother, but we all know I am the closest thing she has to a mother. Remember who raised her and took care of you?"

I went up to push her again but stopped as I got close to her. Inches away we stand head to head. She speaks up first. "Once you cool down with whatever you do nowadays. I'll stop by tomorrow to see if you are okay."

Before I could respond, she is out of the door. She was gone, and she was the only thing I had to get through to get to Silver. What if I got to Silver first?

I smiled tipsily at a local bar. I didn't look like myself, and I was in a hoodie, and my eyes weren't green they were gray. My eyebrows weren't as strong. And my hair was hidden by a hat. I didn't look like a celebrity. And I had some more drinks than I should have tonight.

"Let's go," a voice said to behind me.

Something snapped, and I turned immediately not registering the girls face. My eyes went wide as I looked at her. I froze staring at her.