Case Closed (Hariana | H.S & A.G)

Part 13: Puzzle Piece

"I'm holding you to that! And let me tell you Judd, you will regret it!" I joke. For the next half hour or so Judd and I continue to talk and catch up, I listen as he tells me some stories about his family as well as some comedians he has worked with. Eventually he starts sharing some of the project's he's doing from snippets of the scripts he has saved in his phone and whatever else he can. I even agree to appearing in one of the episodes for Pete Holmes' new comedy show, Crashing, which I'm excited about since I'm friends with Pete as well and doing one episode won't take too much time. I also agree to think about being in a movie that he is involved called 'The Dangerous Artist' which is almost completely made by James Franco with others like Seth Rogen, and Zac Efron already signed on to it.

"Well we're not gonna start filming till December so you've got time to think about it" he says and I nod my head. I was a bit skeptical of the movie since I thought it was more of a drama than comedy but apparently that's not the case and I would love to do the movie but I need to see if I can with my SNL schedule, I also want to make time for my personal life and depending on how things go with Harry that may involve way more or way less work around the end of the year.

"Alright thanks" I say with a smile, I'm sure he wants an answer soon but I can't really focus on work right now since all I can really think about is Harry.

Judd and I continue to talk for a bit as I try to hold our conversation while also trying to think about my relationship with Harry. I love him, like crazy and I'm scared, if he doesn't believe me he'll leave. I want to 'find' myself and I think I have a pretty good lock on that until I'm with him, then I get so jealous and anxious, which is the exact reason we broke up last time and the exact thing I promised myself I was fine with. I guess it'll be tough but he's what I want and I pray to God that everything will work out.

...

"Good afternoon" I reply with a smile to the lady at the front desk at the hotel. I have been so engulfed in my thoughts it feels like my trip over here never happened, like I just transported here from lunch and the receptionist is just here to signal the end of a successful teleportation.

I would love to say that my trip was super useful and filled with reflection and wisdom but it wasn't. It was just scattered and all over the place, I thought about Harry, I thought about myself, I thought about our fight and still have no clue what I could possibly do to help the situation. I mean I know I could tell him about the... 'abuse' since he wants to just know the truth but I won't do it. I don't care. I don't want him to know and I won't have myself pressured into it, it's my life and I'm entitled to hide something like that.

I also thought about Ricky, I never want to see him again but he'll forever be engraved in my mind and I can't help but think about where he is, what he's doing and what he's thinking. It's strange even though he hurt me I kind hope the best for him, I mean I hate him but I do care about him, that's why I was with him in the first place and it's hard to shake that feeling and I guess I'm fine with it. Or at least I'm trying to be fine with it, I mean holding grudges is just a waste of time in my opinion anyways.

I thought about my work life as well, I haven't been working as much as I used to. This time last year I had so many projects lined up but I've kinda slowed down. SNL is starting to feel a lot more like a reality than a dream which sounds weird but I've been on the show for so many years now, I'm one of the more experienced cast members which is strange since I'm still the youngest but it feels like the time to move on is approaching. I might have one or two more seasons left before I leave and it's scary to move on from something that I'm so comfortable with, it's gonna be a huge end to such an important chapter in my life, my whole life style will be different and it's scary.

I finally make my way towards my hotel room and can't help but sigh as I just stare at the door. I don't know what's on the other side and I can't even tell if I want Harry to be on the other side or not. Of course we have to talk so even if he's not here it's still okay... I guess, he probably just went out for a walk to get some clarification, it may help him even though it didn't really help me. It would also be nice if he wasn't here because I'm not sure if I would want to face him right now. At the same time it would kinda be nice if he was here, if he waited for me so that we could talk it would mean a lot.

As I unlock the door a whole bunch of emotions begin the flood my entire body to the point where my hand is actually shaking, I mean almost my whole entire body is shaking but I only noticed when I raised out my hand. I open the door and a part of me wants to shut my eyes but I can't help but stare out, eyes wide open. I feel my eyes begin to water and almost instantly begin to cry as my eyes are drawn toward the dark red colour inside my hotel room.

...

"Oh my gosh" I exclaim as I look up at Harry's smiling face and the large bouquet of beautiful dark red roses he's holding in his hands. He doesn't even say anything but I already have faith that things will work out. I feel the biggest smile ever plaster on my face as I wipe the tears from eyes. I watch as Harry walks towards me and I try to figure out what to say but don't know what to do. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out but thankfully I don't have to as Harry wraps his arms around me and gives me a kiss. I can feel the roses lightly press against my back as he lifts me up before spinning me around very quickly which makes me break our kiss and just burst out laughing. "Okay stop! Stop! Put me down!" I squeal.

"Okay I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he says with a big and unapologetic smile on his face. He leans down and I plant my feet on the ground before staring into his eyes, mine are still a bit watery and I'm just hoping I don't look too ridiculous, although with all we've been through I'm sure he's seen me look worse. I'm happy to be back in his arms but I'm not gonna let us just stay in this 'honeymoon' phase and not talk about anything again like yesterday.

"Harry, I- I don't know how to prove it to you and I get that it's hard to believe but I promise you I was telling truth" I say and I see Harry press his eyebrows together and my heart starts racing, he looks so upset and angry.

"I know" he says and I can't tell if that's a sarcastic and angry 'I know' or a genuine and accepting one. I feel my eyes widen and tears begin to form as I try to figure out what to say but I can't. I really don't know what else to say and then suddenly I see Harry begin to smile and I realize I don't have to. "And I believe you" he says with a cheeky smile that makes me want to push him away but at the same time give him a big hug so I compromise by just giving him a little nudge.

"You're a pretty good actor" I admit with a whine as he laughs.

"And you're not, I could feel you shaking since you got here" he jokes and I can't help but look away from him, it's embarrassing but I was truly nervous and I guess it's good that he knows how much this truly means to me since I can't really express it in words.

"Yea well your acting didn't help" I pout before pulling away from him and grabbing the bouquet of roses from his hands as he laughs. I turn my back towards him as I just look down at the beautiful sea of dark red petals in my hand. Some people hate roses, they think they're cliche and unoriginal but there's something about them that I've always been drawn to, I hate cliches but I don't mind letting a couple things slide. "Thank you for believing me, I promise you it's the truth" I say as I twirl back around. I wrap my arms around him and give him another kiss, I cherish our relationship so much and just by the way he kisses me I can tell he cherishes me as well. We stay like this for a moment before breaking away but this time he's the one who pulls away. "What?" I ask, now searching his eyes.

"I never dated anyone else but I did... sleep around. Mainly with one girl, it wasn't anything serious just pretty much physical but I did do it. That's where the rumours come from and I don't know why I did it I just-" he begins before I place my lips back onto his to stop him It hurts to hear that but I don't care, I don't need to hear anymore of it. Besides, he had to hear about my new relationship as well. I pull away again and look down up at him he seems confused but I just shake my head.

"It's okay Harry. You don't have to explain yourself to me, it's fine. Thanks for being honest" I say with a smile and he smiles down at me as well. For the first time in months I finally feel connected to someone, I also feel like Harry and I have finally fallen back together again. Like puzzle pieces in the right orientation and fit, except unlike when we were together months ago, the pieces around us don't look so cloudy too.