Hi, there! I'm Gaystripe, and I've been summoned here to teach you all about the wonderful world of gayness.
Ahem. Well, not JUST gayness, I suppose. Gayness and the rest of the amazing LGBT+ community, as well.
My fun lectures will not only inform...
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The muttering of the cats is barely audible, but their displeasure is obvious. They die down when a crash comes from backstage, followed by loud screeching. A few seconds later, Gaystripe leaps into the stage in a blur of ginger and white, coughing.
Gaystripe: *panting* Oh my StarClan I am so so sorry this is way overdue and I should have done this a lot earlier I - I - *wheezes*
The cats watch Gaystripe splutter and gasp for air silently, somewhat confused. Some of them stare at the little bits of cotton stuck to his fur.
Gaystripe: *takes several deep breaths* Yes! I will be answering your questions! This should have been done forever ago but complic - oh you know what, that's a lie. Everyone just didn't do this, but let's move on and get right to the answers shall we?!
Stagepaw: *over the speakers* Dude. Calm down.
Gaystripe: I'M TRYING TO, SHUT UP. WHY DID YOU PUT A BOX OF COTTON BALLS IN THE WAY?
Stagepaw: Hey, I wasn't the one who -
Gaystripe: NEVER MIND LET'S JUST START.
There's a deep sigh from the stagepaw, but the first question flashes on the screen:
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Gaystripe: *clears throat and glances at the question again* Okay, okay... *reads the question one more time then grins* Oh, lifting, hm? Check these out!
Gaystripe makes a big show of flexing his muscles, which bulge quite significantly. Some of the cats in the audience go 'ooh...' softly, but most just grunt derisively.
Gaystripe: Oh, come on! I'm not that skimpy!
'Yes you are lol' flashes across the question, and the audience giggles. Gaystripe whips around to look at the question, but the stagepaw has already removed the words. Gaystripe scowls but continues with the next question, which is promptly shown:
