(Lolol anyone watch the Abridged version of SAO? The characters are...
Kirito-Maya
Asuna-Ren
Klein-Alex
Liz-Madi
Agil-Ella
Keita-Dominik
Silica-Drew
Kibaou-Lucas)
~~~~~LETS BEGIN~~~~~
Maya: Link Start!
(Log in animation)
Maya: *sees a bunch of ads and an offer for a $30 ad blocker*
Maya: ....hehehe I'm gonna burn this f*****r to the ground.
~beeep~
Alex: Wait there's something scrolling across mine. "Ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha..."
Maya: I get it....
Alex: Wait, wait, wait, wait, there's more...."Ha."
Maya: Riveting.
~Beeeep~
Ella: If I might interject.
Lucas: And who the hell are you?
Ella: I am known by many names. "Mountain Slayer." "Thunder Lion.""The White Chocolate Axe." But you? You may call me.... Tiffany.
Lucas: T-Tiffany huh? That's a.....pretty unique name.
Tiffany: *deadpanning* Shouldn't be, its stereotypical as fuck.
Lucas: 'Kay I dunno how to talk to you.
Tiffany: Good, then you can shut up and listen.
~Beeep~
Maya: Who are you people and why are you at my table?
Dominik: Ah, Maya! Can I call you Maya?
Maya: No.
Dominik: Here's the thing Maya; I couldn't help noticing while I was rifling through your character page...
Maya: I thought I had that set to private...
Dominik: ....That you are not associated with any guild! So the crew and I- I call them the Crew by the way- were thinking that you should join our guild.
Maya: Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Dominik: Now, I know what you're thinking- "am I really worthy to join these awesome dudes?"
Maya: I literally never thought that about anyone.
Dominik: But let me assure you, we could certainly use someone with your.... assets. *staring at up Maya's level 40 stat line*
Maya: Hey! Hey! My eyes are down here.
~Beeeep~
Dream!Maya: Are you unharmed, my lord?
Drew: *awestruck* W-What?
Real!Maya: I saiiiddd:"Could ya stop staring at me?!" It's creepy!
~Beeeep~
Maya: Whoa, whoa, whoa! We can't go around sacrificing NPCs! Some of my best friends have been NPCs!
Ren: That makes way too much sense....
Gary: [offscreen] We must save my family!
Maya: Ya, see? Some of them even have fa-a-a-a... Gary. Excuse me, I have to go say "hi" to an old friend. Won't be a minute. [offscreen] Hey, Gary long time no see!
Gary: We must save my fa-AAAAAHGGGGGHHHH!
Maya: *stabbing Gary over and over* YEAH! Betcha didn't expect to see me again, did'ja, punk?!
Gary: WE MUST SAVE MY FA-AGH!
Maya: *still stabbing him* YOU LEFT US TO DIE, YOU BASTARD!!! THIS IS FOR SACHI!! CHOKE ON IT!! CHOKE ON MY VENGEANCE!! HOW DOES IT TASTE?! AH-HA HAHA HAHA!
Alex: *visibly unnerved* Yeah, you know what, maybe he has a point. This is super uncomfortable.
~beeep~
Maya: You made this?! But wouldn't you have had to-
Ren: *cheerfully* If you say, "open the menu," I'm gonna stab you in the eye.
~beeeeep~
Maya: *distraught* My sandwich... *falls to their knees* It was innocent!
Ren: *concerned* Maya, are you gonna be-
Maya: *still staring at the ground* SHHH! I must grieve.
~beeep~
Maya: GOD, what is it with you men and crying under bridges?! You're like trolls.
~beeep~
Maya: Yeah, lets make it a date. (Jokingly)
Ren: So, is it a date or not?
Maya: Wait, you were serious? I kind of thought you were just-
Ren: *grabs Maya by the coat collar and gives her a death glare* Then let me be clear. Tonight. My place. Six o'clock. I'll cook us a nice dinner. It will be a magical evening. Sound good?
Maya: *scared* Okay! Yeah, that sounds lovely! (Aside) Why do I feel like I'm being mugged?
Ren: All right! ... I mean, you know, whatever, that's cool.
~beeep~
Maya: Hey, sleepy-head~! How was your-? *yelps and quickly takes cover behind a fence as Ren draws his sword*
Ren: Tell me what you did, right now, and you may live!
Maya: *peeping out from behind the fence* Idrewcatwhiskersonyourface!
Ren: .....What?
Maya: I drew cat whiskers on your face! I thought it would be funny and it was!
Ren: Is- is that all?
Maya: Um, yeah? You were asleep, what else would I have done?
Ren: *sputtering* Well... I... I-I mean... you know! You-you could've... You want some dinner?
~beeep~
Maya: That's weird, why don't I remember?
Alex: Because we have lives outside of you, Maya.
Maya: *snickers* It's cute you think that.
~beep~
Maya: *laying face-down on he floor* The power of love is bullshit! The power of Swords and violence, that's where it's at.
~end~
YOU ARE READING
Random Shit (I'M BACK BITCHES!)
HumorHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEUHUEHUEHUEHUEUHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE I own the plot line and my self. Everything else belongs to their rightful owners. =3 *Please note that this is a sequel. Please go back and read the first book before reading this one...
