Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Friday, July 14

Dear Diary:

Shit, there's not many pages left on here. I'll maybe have to improvise with stapled toilet paper in the future

Today was a weird day. Sealand was feeling like shit, like, he refused to drink tea and accidentally threw his pop tart in the trash and almost ate the wrapping. I tried to talk to him but I think he's mad at me, blaming me for that whole WY thing

It isn't my fault, I don't understand how women work. I'm not a woman. It's obvious I'm not. He must be the woman because I don't understand him either and I think nobody does

sO TO FIX THIS PROBLEM I TOOK HIM FISHING

I know he doesn't know how to fish, but that's alright, because I don't either. Norway used to fish my food before... I've always been useless :')

Sealand accidentally fell in the river and I laughed until I realized my fishing hook got stuck in his shirt and I feel in too

We got kicked out because we scared all the fish away

Yeah, I think you can't kick people out of public places but hnnnng laws change ig ??

There's actually a point to this so-

Thing is, we took a walk around town waiting for our clothes to dry off in the sun when we saw it...

Finland was walking down the street with his head and half his face completely covered by his hood, one hand in his pocket and holding a giant radio thing on his shoulder

At first I was like "Wot" but then I saw the second most shocking thing ever...

Norway was also dressed the same way and they were walking towards each other

Fortunately, we were on the other side of the street, so Sealand and I hid inside a trash can and watched them

So they were standing inches away from each other and suddenly Finland started fucking rapping who knows what and there was a small public around them and Norway started rapping too and everyone was like "OOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Sealand puked because it was so fucking random that his mind reseted 5 times in a row

Denmark and Sweden were in the public OOOOOing

So, while I was in the trash can, I figured out what might of happened

Norway and Finland were having an uke battle to determine who was the bottom of the bottoms

Makes sense, huh?

I would of kept watching but some dude kicked the can and we rolled down the street until a car crashed into us and we flew into a mud puddle

Yes, that actually happened... My life must of been SO boring, some strong force from beyond decided they would make one day a little exciting

Sealand lost a tooth

So very exciting. A vessel exploded inside me. That's how exciting it was

If I wasn't a country, I would of probably died immediately, but I'm slowly dying... every single fucking day...

And since I can't die, I think this situation could be used as a last resort when you have no idea what else you could write about to fill in a small gap in the plot that isn't important at all...

Just defined my whole life there

Rawr

-Iceland

P.S:  It's been confirmed. We're going to Australia for this world meeting... again

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