Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Friday, March 17

Dear Diary:

I am done with everything and everyone-

Today we woke up SUPER EARLY (we stayed at a hotel like duh)

Denmark: pACK YOUR CRAP WE'RE LEAVING

Me: But we don't have a car

Norway: That's right....

Finland: ........

Denmark: ....... I know somebody

Norway: ...................... oH NO

Finland: OMG

Sweden: NOOO

Me: ?

Denmark: yESSSS

And he pushed all our shit  down the stairs and onto the sidewalk

Me:  >:v  Where's the ca-

And then a big ass car appeared outta nowhere. I was like "Hm, who could be driving this?" but then the door opened and I was like "omg plz no"

Denmark:  HAIIIIIIII

America: HEY DUDES

Finland:  :D HOI

Sweden: ........

Norway: ........... Hoi

Me: ........

So we got in (more like we were forced to get in) and we started heading towards wherever the fuck we had to go. I forgot what the city was called.

Denmark: ......... You have any music?

America: Sure do!

Me: You still listen to Disney music?

America: Nah. Got over it

Me: Phe-

America:  nOW I'M INTO STEVEN UNIVERSE

AND HE TURNED ON THE MUSIC

Music: TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK OF JUST.... FLEXIBILITY, LOVE AND TRUST-

Denmark:  :D

Norway:  ಠ_ಠ

Sweden:  .____.

Finland:  \_(ツ)_/¯

Me:   -_-

Norway: HOW ABOUT WE SING A SONG INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO YOUR SHIT MAGIC ROCK MUSIC?

America: Good idea! Anyone has a song?

Finland: ........... someBODY ONCE TOLD ME-

And that's why we didn't speak a word until we drove by a 7/11

Norway: I'm thirsty

America: We can get a smoothie or something-

Norway: Coffee

Everyone: .....

America: ....... I'll ask-

So he got down and we waited in the car

Denmark: ...... I have a game we could play

Finland: Ok

Norway: No

Me: No

Sweden: No

Denmark:  I'll give you two options and you guys will choose which one you prefer. I'll start.  Would you rather.....die...or run out of air?

Everyone: ............ >_>

Finland: .... My turn! Would you rather have a square dildo, or-

Norway: FINLAND THERE ARE KIDS HERE

Me:  EXCUSE YOU-

Sweden: Would you rather wear a skirt or a dress?

Denmark:  Skirt. Dresses make me look fat :(

Norway: When did you wear a dress?

Denmark: ....... I told you to never leave me home alone

Finland: I'd wear a dress! They make me feel pretty ^^

Norway: Would you rather take a bath or a shower?

Me: Shower. If you take a bath you just sit in your own dirt

Norway: ...... I feel dirty

Denmark: Would you rather marry me or Sweden?

Norway: I would rather die

Denmark:  :(

Sweden: I would marry myself

Finland:  What a difficult question-

Sweden: !!!!!

Finland:  AHHHH I MEAN YOU OF COURSE!!

America: Hey, guys. Bad luck. There's no coffee. I brought y'all some smoothies-

Norway: DISAPPOINTED

So we started driving again 

Norway: ......

Denmark: ......

America: ....

Sweden: .....

Me: .....

Finland: ...... Would you rather have a cactus shoved up your ass-

Norway: Let's play the quiet game

So we played the quiet game until we got to the Canadian border

I was expecting more maple to be honest

So we drove

And drove

And drove

Stopped at a Tim Hortons

And drove

aNd DROVE

AND I GOT TIRED AND FELL ASLEEP BUT THEN I REMEMBERED NORWAY WAS NEXT TO ME AND I WOKE UP TO HIM CUDDLING MY JACKET LIKE "MMMM MY YOU'RE SO WARM" AND I SCREAMED AND EVERYONE SCREAMED AND AMERICA ALMOST RAN OVER A MOOSE AND WE STARTED SPINNING IN CIRCLES ALL SCREAMING AND WE FELL OFF A SMALL HILL AND ROLLED AND SWEDEN FLEW OUT THE WINDOW AND WE ENDED UP IN A SMALL RIVER AND IT WAS COLD SO WE HAD TO GET OUT AND SWIM BACK TO LAND AND DRAG THE CAR OUT

And there was a hotel a block away so we checked in and now we're all okay

Canada is dangerous omg

So the meeting is tomorrow

NNNNNNNNYES

I'm gonna get some sleep, I'm exhausted

-Iceland