Saving Grace {Haylor}

College Brother

The first thing I do is call Austin. Completely confused with what I was feeling. I don't know why I chose him out of the people I know. Or well, the people I knew. The last time I talked to my best friend, Britany was months ago. She's got her own stuff going on and she's not the kinda person to get others involved. She's very driven that way. Her boyfriend and her had gotten pretty serious the last time we talked and that's all I really knew. So to call her up and out of the blue like this really wasn't my place. The rest of my friends were either mutual between Milo and I or were school friends. And I can't recollect talking to them since I left last year.

"Wow. Two calls in two days. Who would've thought." Austin laughs from the other line and I roll my eyes.

"I said I'd call didn't i?"

"You say you'll do a lot of things..."

"I'm mentally punching you right now."

"God dammit, I knew my arm was hurting for a reason. Taylor and her voodoo magic!" He chuckles his awful sense of humour ringing in.

I roll my eyes once again and I can already tell this conversation is going to use a lot of it. "We went on a date." I say and when he doesn't reply I restate myself. "We went on a date. Harry and I. The guy mom and dad are attempting to set me up with."

"Well it sounded like it worked so yay mom and dad!"

"No. Not yay. I got drunk with him and then today I willingly went out with him. Do you realize what this means?!"

"Hmmm." He pauses and the line is basically dripping in sarcasm. "You like him?"

"I can't like him, Austin. I don't do that. I'm not like that!"

"You could be like that if you wanted." He states. "Look, I'm not gonna waste my time telling you things you already know. You haven't lived for the past year. You haven't gotten drunk or took a risk. You haven't taken a chance on anybody since dipshit left you. And quite frankly I think you deserve to get out and maybe fall into something fun and crazy. Even if it only happens for a little while. You deserve that Taylor."

I huff. In a way, my little college brother was right. He was taking psychology and a few other things surrounding it. It was his first year and if anything it's made him go from mamas boy to independent college student. "How do you do it. You don't let anything get to you... I don't understand."

"It's a way of thinking. If you present yourself with negative that's all that you're going to see. But if you open up the positive then that's what you'll see. It's all about the mind." I hear a mumble in the back and Austin pulls away from the phone proceeding with a 'yeah, I'll be right there.' "Sorry. Do you think you'll be okay? Think you'll figure things out now?"

I nod although I know he can't see me. "Thank you. I've got it now."

"That'a girl!" He laughs before wishing me a goodbye and goodnight and hanging up the phone.

I change into pj pants and a tank, falling directly into bed. Today was complicated. And the more I try to figure things out the more my head hurts and then the more I think. It's a constant circle of struggle. Consistent struggle. Times like these are when I would depend on Karlie to walk me through every depending situation. It would be when I sneak into her room and we stay up all night just talking when I was ten and had a math test the next day.

So instead I lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling praying for some kinda answer. "What do you think I should do, Kar?" I whisper, letting out a long awaited sigh.

Suddenly my phone rings from my side table and I pic it up to see a text from Harry. Cautiously I open it to a nice surprise.

Little Shadow,

Tonight was fun. Thank you. I can't remember the last time I sat and just talked for hours with someone. Two nights in a row. You're special. And I hope you know that. I hope we can do it again.

Harry :)

I feel a curve at my lips flip to a smile and my cheeks start radiating heat. Did I have a crush? I haven't had a crush since highschool and that was so long ago. I don't even know where to start with this. All I know is I have a smile that I can't shed.

So do I. Tonight was a lot of fun. Thank you. :)

I send back the most simplistic thing I can think of. Not wanting him to get any ideas although it would be nice if the thought about me as much as I think about him....

•••

I honestly can't remember the last time I dreamt about a boy that wasn't my boyfriend. So I guess it was time for that to happen. I wake up blushing die to my dreams and I desperately rush to my phone hoping to see a message from Harry. Unfortunately I don't, but it was still early... He had time. Right?

I dash downstairs where my parents are already sitting at the table. Coffee at hand with newspapers close by. The scene looks so much like one from a movie and I observe from the sidelines. I pour my cereal and join them at the table. Mom welcomes me with a cheeky smile and I feel confused at what she could know as if more than me.

"Don't look at me like that." I mumble with a laugh, taking a bite of the Cheerios I had displayed myself with.

"Like what sweetie?" Mom asks and I look back up. Her newspaper is now down and her hands sit together playing with the napkin.

"Like that!" I laugh.

"You seem awful happy!" My dad chimes in.

"What gives you that idea?"

"You're up before ten." Mom gushes. "And you were out yesterday. That must have went well. No?"

I shrug. "I guess you could say it went well." Oh boy here come the questions. How did they know it was a date and I didn't? That's completely unfair and should go against all books.

"He's a fine boy, Taylor." Dad drops his newspaper and I see a smile in his eyes when he's trying to be all serious.

"I would hope so. You are working with him for the summer."