Hideaway Place

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I would like to dedicate this chapter to Swiftie13loving and her lost loved one, Haley. All good things are wild and free. <3.

"So are you gonna tell me anything about you?" Harry breaks a steady silence that has accumulated since we left Maggie's.

"Excuse me?" I cough.

"Oh come on. All I know about you is that you have an ex named Milo and your parents are extremely pushy. And personally, I don't think those are the most important qualities in a person."

I look to my side and then back at my feet. "I'm not worth getting to know, trust me."

My silence continues and I feel terrible. Harry seemed like such a kind guy, and what he did for me at Maggie's was absolutely the sweetest thing. That's what girls beg guys to do. I just can't let anyone in. I'm too much of a mess. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I belong indoors, in places I can't get attached and hurt people. That's the last thing I need. Loosing someone else.

Dinner goes alright and my parents are the ones holding the main conversation as I prick and prod at the Chinese food piled on my plate. Everything is going in one ear and out the other. How can someone have so much on the mind, but at the same time so little? It's like I'm screaming but I can't even hear it. "May I be excused?" I stand while pushing the chair with the back of my legs.

"But hunny, you hardly are anything!" My mom says warily before looking over at Harry who convos fly sits beside me.

"I'm not feeling well." I say, "I think I drank too much milk earlier and it's the lactose creeping in."

"You haven't had a reaction since you were fifteen, though. Maybe we should go get you checked out."

I huff and push my bangs. "I'm just not feeling well and I need time to myself please and thank you." I drop my plate back to the table, agitated in the most a obnoxious sense.

Instead of my room, I decide on Karlie's. Her room is my hideaway place. Walls are covered in photos... Drenched in photos. From concerts, to boat rides, to friends, to patterns. Everything. This room is drenched in Karlie. The first guitar she ever owned sits beside the bed still with a guitar pic that we once found on the side of the street. Twinkle lights are still hung up around the ceiling. Every little light reminds me of Karlie but in a weird way it feels like home. I drag down the comforter of the bed and sit cross legged with Karlie's 'smile!' pillow in my lap. I pick up my cell phone and dial a number I haven't in awhile. The ring agitates me even more. "Taylor?"

"Hey Austin." I say nervously to my little brother.

"What are you doing calling me? You never call."

I sniffle back tears that I hardly realize have joined me. "I just needed someone to talk to."

My brother and I were never really close. The only time we really spent together was on family vacations and such. But after Karlie passed I was by myself a lot and didn't really have anyone to cling to so that's when Austin became my closest companion. Whenever our parents were on my case he would just freak out and set them straight. He's a good kid, that one. "Is everything okay?"

"Mom and dad are trying to set me up with some guy from out of town." I huff, wiping tears away with the edge of my sweater.

"Oh god is he gay?"

"No!" I chuckle and roll my eyes.

"Is he old?"

"Not that I can tell. "

"Druggie? Alcoholic?"

"Doesn't seam to be."

"Well then, miss Taylor. What is wrong with this situation."

I scoff, "Austin you're missing the entire point! Mom and dad are setting me up!"

I hear him huff and I nearly envision my younger brother slouching in the chair of his Yale suit. "For the past year you've basically locked yourself in your room and make the minimum amount of human contact as possible. Look, I miss Karlie as much as the next person. She went too early, much too early. But she wouldn't want you to become a hobbit and forget your last Starbucks order. Karlie loved you. She still does. And I doubt she wants you wallowing for the rest of your life." I look straight ahead to see myself in the mirror of Karlie's ole vanity. A picture of us from her high school graduation stuck between the mirror and it's frame. Her smile radiating and I can nearly hear her laugh, sense it in the least. "I know mom and dad are off their rockers sometimes but maybe give this a try. Even if it's just for fun. You deserve some light."

"We'll see." I say with an exasperated sigh. "We'll talk later alright?"

"Sounds good. Love ya Tay."

"Love you too bro."

I hang up and sit silent in the middle of the bed. Pushing myself as deep into the comforter as possible. Sometimes I just sit in here and listen to music. Sometimes I look at old photos and reminisce. Sometimes I watch movies or write journal entries. On impulse I call Karlie. And I know it sounds crazy, but I promise I'm not. Every month Karlie's cellphone bill comes out with mine and it's kinda cool to be able to hear her voice. Of course, it never rings, but theirs always that weird sensation that maybe it will.

"Hi, you've got Karlie! I apologize for not being able to get your call but leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. If this call is business related you may contact Michelle at 615-709-4329. Thanks for calling! Keep on keepin' on!"

I hang up and my heart skips a beat "keep on keepin on..."

A/N

Sorry these are short. But would you rather longer updates less frequently or shorter updates like this more frequently? Lemme know in the comments and that's probably what I'll do!

Thanks guys!

And don't forget to check out Fallout by FanficsbyBrooke. Her writing is flawless and perfection. My favourite!

-A

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