CHAPTER 20: Blind And Deaf

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# CHAPTER 20



Stacie's POV

I looked at the girl who's the reason why I am here and still hurting to see her that if she wakes up, she still doesn't like me.

Yeah.

It hurts to know that she don’t like me as much as I like her.

It hurts to know that all of the effort I’ve been putting into our ‘relationship’ has been for nothing. I look like an idiot trying to get her attention at all.

It hurts to know that my love is one-sided, my feelings are one-sided, my hopes are one-sided.

It hurts to know she can go weeks without texting me and not miss me at all.

It hurts to know she’ve read my messages and decided that they weren’t important enough to answer.

It hurts when she post new pictures on Facebook while I’m still waiting for a text back from her.

It hurts to wake up thinking about her and fall asleep thinking about her, even though I probably never cross her mind.

It hurts when she act like I’m invisible, like I mean absolutely nothing to her even though she mean the world to me.

It hurts to know that I feel so strongly about her and I’m not even a blip on her radar.

It hurts to feel like I’m not hot enough, not fun enough, not good enough.

It hurts when she walk back into my life after a long day only to lead me on again, to feed me false hope again. To have my body again. It hurts that she think she can rotate in and out of my life whenever she wish. That she can do whatever she want and I’ll just allow it to happen.

It hurts when she send me mixed signals. When she give me a sign that maybe things will work out after all. That maybe we could end up together.

It hurts when she act like she like me, too. When she give me the impression that my love isn’t one-sided after all.

It hurts when she make me feel smart, strong, sexy. When she make me fall harder for her than I already have.

It hurts when she give me even more reasons to love her.

But most of all, it hurts when she get my hopes up again, because I know it’s only a matter of time until I’m disappointed again. Until I remember that we’re never going to become official, that she's never going to become mine.

I like her but I'm tired.

"You're unbelievable." Chloe said and shook her head in disappointment. I let out playful smirk.

"I'm also thinking about messing up with your girl before. She looks so attractive to me when I accidentally bumped on her." I said in a very flirtatious voice. She cringed.

"You two what?"

"We bumped each other. That's how we met before. Actually I almost step on her and that's hilarious." I chuckled. How come Beca didn't told her about me? Is it because she's whipped? Or she's really not interested on me? Well. I prefer the first choice.

"Okay. But you can hit everyone else but not MY Beca." She emphasized the 'MY' so I will be reminded that Beca and her had a label. I chuckled again and looked at Emily's peaceful face. I'm not going to do this if you could just tell everyone I'm yours and totally make me yours with a label. I looked back at Chloe.

"But she's really attractive and hot I think."

"She is. So stop your hots on her."
"So possessive, eh? Can I admire her for a seconds?" I said and she scoffed.

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