13 Reasons why // The 14th Reason

// 9 //

A/N Just want to warn you guys if I haven't already, that this story contains bad language and stuff so yeah... Read on.

Alex and Jessica. The two people whom I used to call friends. The tape connected to me on a personal level, way more than I wished it would.
* * *
I was one of the first people Alex met. I was his first friend. I didn't go to Monet's with Hannah and Jess one day, on account of having to study, but the next day I was surprised to find that Hannah and Jess were now friends with Alex also. It was perfect. Our little group. We were always happy and our little visits to Monet's saved us all.
F.M.L. Our own 'Secret handshake'. It was like a secret club that you have as kids but instead of silly kid crushes and stuff, we shared our stories on school, life and absolutely everything.
Day after day. Drink after drink. We lifted our mugs, and we lifted each other.
Unfortunately, as everything always was with Hannah and I, it didn't work out.
Alex was the first to stop coming. He found some other friends. We were still friendly in the halls but that was it. Then it was down to Jessica, Mel and I. But then Jessica stopped coming too. We went our seperate ways. Or so I thought.
I remembered clearly the time when I followed Hannah into the hall one day, still quite soon after the Monet fiasco. I was carefully adjusting the hold I had on my tray when Hannah stopped abruptly. I squeaked as I crashed into her, spilling my cafeteria pasta all down my shirt.
"Han, what the hell?" I groaned as I balanced out my tray and tried to one handedly wipe orange pasta sauce off my shirt. I looked up as she turned on her heel and marched away. Jessica and Alex were sitting at a table looking incredibly cosy. I sighed sadly and turned slowly to follow Hannah.
* * *
It was fine Jess. It was. You're the kind of girl that boys like to like. Not spread rumours about. You're the nice girl. The kind that becomes a cheerleader.
I pulled out my headphones and handed them to Clay who smiled at me reassuringly. It felt nice to have someone to share this with. I knew that if I had to listen to the tapes alone that I would break down. And Hannah would have known that too. I found myself thinking about Hannah a lot more during school, often getting caught off guard in lessons. I was thinking about it as I sat on the front row of the bleachers in the sports hall listening to the announcement of the varsity basketball team. Why would Hannah do this to me. To herself. What could I have done to her. How on Earth could I have been a part of this.
My attention was caught as Bryce called out Zach's name. The cheerleader in front of him flipped and tumbled as Zach ran out, his cap backwards on his head. He bumped shoulders with Willem Barclay, one of his fellow teamates on the Varsity basketball team. I laughed as he winked at me and a few people turned around to look at me. I blushed under their gazes, remembering Zach jokingly saying earlier that day that I should become a cheerleader. My response was that had Zach ever seen me do anything mildly atheltic to which he laughed.
Soon the event was over and we filed out for break. I met up with Clay outside and we sat in the sun on a bench as I picked at a salad that I'd packed that morning.
* * *
I knew about the list. Of course I did. How could I not?
I felt the regret crushing me as Hannah recounted meeting with Jess in Monet's, alone. How Jess showed her the list. How she called her a slut and how she slapped her. I felt my eyes tear as I remembered that evening. I had gone home straight after school instead of going to Monets with Hannah as I needed to study for History as I wasn't doing so great in class. I wished more than anything that I'd said 'screw it' and gone with Hannah. But you can't change the past. No matter how much you want to.
When Hannah came back she skipped dinner so I took her plate up to our room. My revision was till scattered across the floor and desk.
"Sorry about the mess. Han, you good? I brought you food." I smiled, waving the plate in front of her. She smiled gratefully and took it. I sat next to her on the bed as she picked at the chicken and roast potatoes.
"What's wrong?" I probed. She shrugged and I poked her cheek.
"Tell me Hannah Bannana or I'll... I'll tell everyone about that time in fifth grade." I taunted and she gasped.
"You wouldn't."
"Mhm." I raised an eyebrow before bursting out laughing. I wrapped an arm round her and pulled her to my side in a hug.
"You know you've always got me Hannah."
"And you've always got me Melanie."
* * *
At the end of the day I walked out of school with Clay as we'd had last lesson together. When Clay unlocked his bike from the rack Zach and Marcus pulled up. I smiled and waved goodbye to Clay as I walked over to the car, opening the door and stepping in.
"Hey, Mel. We're going to Bryce's, you coming?" I bit my lip as I thought about it.
"Come on," He urged. "It'll be fun!" I sighed before nodding and taking out my phone to text my parents. Before we could leave however, Marcus called out,
"Hey Clay. What's up man."
"Hey Marcus."
"Need a ride?" Zach asked.
"Where are you going?" Marcus added
"I'm fine. I got my bike."
"Just throw it in the trunk." Marcus replied.
"Yeah, we're going to go hang at Bryce's. You should totally come." I sat in the back of the car looking very confused at the exchange. Suddenly another car pulled up in front of us.
"Hey Clay, you alright?" Tony asked.
"I'm good." Clay replied.
"You heard him." Tony called and Zach nodded before backing up and driving away, leaving me to think in the back about the previous exchange.
* * *
I followed Zach and Marcus as they walked up Bryce's impressive drive.
"Coach's mad that he missed assembly." Marcus said as he walked inside and I assumed they were talking about Justin. I was looking around the interior in wonder. I had been here.many times before but it aways took my breath away.
"He's in the pool house." Bryce said, opening the back door for us.
"Stoned off his guard by the way." Bryce added. Zach shrugged ever so slightly as Marcus raised an eyebrow and discreetly looked at me. I noticed though.
"He's been here all day?" Marcus asked.
Bryce nodded before asking,
"What'd he do?"
"Who the fuck knows." Zach answered. I followed them both out the door and we walked down the large garden, past the pool and to the end where a small little hut stood.
I followed behind them slowly and entered as they were talking to Justin about him needing to get his shit together. I sighed and sat in the beanbag in the corner. Zach and Marcus sat themselves on the sofa and began playing a game on the console as I took out my phone and started scrolling through social media.
* * *
After a while I got bored and decided to steal Zach's hat as some entertainment. He yelled in protest and began to climb the back of the sofa when Marcus began protesting,
"Dude, you're on my team, look out! You're gonna get shot." I lauged as Zach swore and scrambled back to his controller. I then sat back in the beanbag, smiling triumphantly as I placed the hat backwards on my own head. Suddenly someone knocked rapidly on the door. Justin looked at the two guys sitting on the couch.
"It's all you bro." Zach shrugged.
Justin sighed and opened the door. As soon as he did he was attacked by a frantic looking Jessica.
"You are such a fucking asshole! How could you do that to me? What did you tell him? What did you - "
"Hey, hey!" Justin interrupted her yelling and shoving.
"What did I tell who?"
"Mr Porter! What did you tell him yesterday? Why haven't you been at school?"
"I just needed a day off to chill."
"A day off? The day after you talk to Mr Porter you suddenly need a day off? You're not telling me something.
"What would I not be telling you?" he asked calmly before walking to a chair and sitting down. Jessica looked up around the room and saw me looking at her from the corner. She then looked pointedly at Zach who sighed and stood up. He walked over to me and held out his hand to help me up. I took it and he led me outside, shutting the door behind him.
"What - "
"Don't ask." He sighed, sitting down next to the pool. I sat next to him and leant on his shoulder.
"I shouldn't have brought you here." He sighed. "I'm going to take you home." I nodded and started following him as he walked up the garden, grabbing his hand and swinging it slightly. He smiled down at me and placed a kiss to my forehead before opening the car door and motioning for me to get in. My mind raced as I thought about Jessica's outburst only minutes before.
* * *
"Hey mum? What are you doing?" I asked, looking up from my book as she walked into the room. I was sat on the bed but she ignored me, walking past with a blank look on her face to sit at mine and Hannah's desk. It was just mine now though. I stood and walked over so that I was standing behind her. I placed a hand on her shoulder confortingly as she picked up Hannah's blue nail varnish. I had recently moved back into the room and was still adjusting to the emptiness.
My mother sighed and looked at the piled books whichwe had retrieved from Hannah's locker before pulling out a crumpled slip of paper from one of them.
"What's this?" She whispered to herself. I watched curiously and gasped inaudibly as she opened up the piece of paper to reveal Alex's list.