An ordinary girl

chapter-17

This chapter is dedicated to one very important reader and person @dwivediricha.

"Sometimes friendship holds more prominent place in our heart and sometimes it becomes the reason why we smile"

There are times when you want to be alone to try to accept the reality and than there are those times too when you just want to sit with someone with nothing else but just the silence, no talking, no arguing and no explaining. In reality its hard to find people like that who would waste there time just by sitting with you and doing nothing. As I looked at Suhana who was busy in chatting with someone on her phone, for once I really considered myself lucky. She was right here with me when I needed her. Last night after talking with Vansh was a mess and just like all other nights which would become sleepless after the fight, last night too became sleepless. Spending the whole night getting lost in my own thoughts was not helping and the suffocation I felt was becoming stronger. I kept wondering that why is it so hard for me to accept the truth. Why can't I accept the fact that my dream has been broken and the reality was right infront of me knocking me in my face. Till the end I wasn't able to reach any conclusion and with these thoughts only the night ended and I soon saw the morning lights.

The first thing which I did after leaving the bed was that I got ready and headed to Suhana's place though I knew that she wasn't a morning person still I needed her. After driving to her house I stood there for a minute deciding if I should wake her up or not. Knowing that I have already arrived and she would get angry if I headed back from here I rang the bell and waited for her to open the door. After sometime I heard shuffling on the other side and the next moment the door was opened revealing a sleepy Suhana. I waited for her to say something or maybe lecture me about disturbing her so early in the morning but nothing like that happened. She looked at me with her sleepy face and step aside for me to enter. And that's how I ended up sitting on her bed with her texting on her phone and me being lost in my own thoughts.

It has been quite a time since I came here but still she hasn't asked me anything. There was no hello, no talks and no questions just the silence which surrounded us. I was feeling comfortable with her being with me and me being away from the suffocation which I felt. After a while she got up and said "I am gonna make something to eat I am starving and I know you are too and don't you dare deny it" with this she walked towards the kitchen. I smiled to myself at her behaviour and wondered how did I get so lucky to have a friend like her. We never have been the one to talk for hours on phone calls neither we are those people who text each other at every second nor do we spend our every weekends together rather we are that type of friends who know exactly what the other person is thinking and we can tell by each others face about the emotion other person is facing. This is our bond, our friendship which doesn't need to fall under any orthodox criterias. Our relation is just about us and nothing else.

My thoughts were broken with Suhana coming back to the room with a bowl full of maggi. "See I made this yummy delicious maggi just for you. Now lets get started before it gets cold" she said placing the bowl between us. As we ate we made weird faces to each other. After finishing the maggi we once again sat on the bed and stared at each other. "Why are you looking at me as if I am your meal and you are soon gonna eat me up?" I asked her

"I am staring at you because I want you to tell me what he did this time" she asked me

"The usual Suhana. The same blaming and the same mis treating" I told her frankly

"Sanaya I really don't understand why are you still with him. Each and everytime he hurts you and than at the end you forgive him" she replied with a death glare

"Because I love him. I want him to change and I know that he too loves me" I told her

She got up and started walking. After a while she said "Sanaya please know your worth. I know this time he did something more worse"

Hearing her words made the tears fall again and I replied "yes this time he did something worse but not something new. You know what hurted me Suhana that he came to meet me and we had such a good time and than when I questioned him he left me alone without thinking and he didn't even bothered to call me again"

She made her way back to the bed and sat beside me holding my hands and said "you don't deserve a guy who can't respect you, you deserve so much more. Don't insult your ownself if he isn't making you happy than he isn't the one. You know I feel bad seeing you like this. I have seen the efforts you make for him and the happiness you have left behind for him but if he still can't see it than you need to question it. Just know that this isn't love." Her words made the inside of my heart burn because I knew that she was telling the truth. Everyone was able to tell the fact that how much I love him but still he himself was never able to accpet it and he believed that I never loved him.

As the pain increased I hugged Suhana for the comfort and she did provided me that comfort by hugging me back and by whispering soothing things but I still wished to be surrounded by Vansh's arms . The guy I have loved with all my heart was not even aware of it and above that he was ready to blame me. All those times when I overlooked his mistakes, all those times when I fought with my parents for him were nothing. I remember the times when I would take the risk to meet him, the times when I would make cards for him and plan the special days and all those times when I stayed with him for several nights when he was sick and cared for him and the times when I would go to the temple to pray for him and would fast for him. If this isn't love than what is love?

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