Perfect (Third book to the series Senior Year) - jb

3. Reveal

I took a deep breath, sliding down against the brick wall, to sit down on the concrete.

"Thank you." Alex sighed, "We didn't tell you because we wanted you to recover. It would've probably be horrible for you to be there, without a phone, without any connection to him. You understand?"

"But-"

"No but's. You know now, there's nothing you can do about it."

I rubbed my sweaty palm against my face.

Maybe she was right. I don't know what I would've done if they told me when I was still in Brookhave. My recovery would've probably go down the hill because I honestly had only one good month when I was there and it was the last month. The nightmares I experienced and one sleep paralysis were enough of shock. The five months were absolutely horrible and then just one morning, it was like something snapped in my brain and from that moment on, I wanted to get better. So news about Justin would've stopped and I would still be there, having nightmares and suffering from sleep paralysis.

"Okay? You still there?" Alex spoke, now more calmly.

"Yeah." I breathed and pushed myself up from the ground, "I need to go."

"Okay, well-"

I didn't let her finish before I hung up. Hurrying, I put my phone back into my purse and started speed walking. Not home, but to somewhere important.

It was March and it was pretty cold in New York. I only had an oversized hoodie on so I was at this point freezing.

I had no idea why I was doing this. I didn't plan it like this.

I stopped on my tracks.

What if I was interrupting him? What if he had a new girlfriend and they were enjoying a nice evening with a glass of red wine? And I was about to go there and ruin it.

No, you need to keep walking and go see him.

I had a feeling I was going to break my heart because of him. Once. Again.

Accepting your past is the key to your healing.

Suddenly, it was like my body turned against my will, and I continued walking, almost runnig by now.

Whatever I was going to come across with, I needed to say something to him. He needed to know I was back or atleast, that I was here. He needed to know I knew. I wanted to support him. I wanted a closure if he had someone knew or I wanted to... I just needed to see him.

This day turned so much more eventful that I, in the first place, had planned.

I looked up at the huge building in front of me.

Only 30 floors between us, now.

I entered the building and went straight to the elevators, pushing the button to go up. While waiting, I played with my fingers nervously. Only 30 floors between us. My breathing was starting to quicken while I stared at the small digital screen above the elevator doors. Then the elevator arrived and the doors opened.

"I can't do this." I gasped and turned around to walk away.

But then a big group of women walked towards the elevator and I couldn't get past them, so they took me into their stream, against my own will.