Destined with the Bad Girl ➸ Camren Fanfic

The Letter

I remember you told me you wanted to be a singer. Everyone chanting your name in a stadium full of people who truly adore and love you. And then you will sing the song you wrote for the person who holds you heart. Though my chest is clenching tight at the thought that I'll be there but you don't know because your heart no longer sings for me, I know I'll be watching you at the back of the crowd with a smile on my face knowing you did it. And I know this for sure, you'll be what you wanted to be. 5-10 years from now, who knows? Maybe we'll meet again. And I'll look into your eyes with so much proudness knowing once in my life, I've made the right choice for the girl I love the most. Promise me that you will never ever question yourself as to why we didn't work. Promise me that you will never ask yourself why you're not enough. Promise me you will never blame yourself as to why I have to go. Camila, you are enough. You are more than enough. All the blames are on me. It's all my fault, not yours. I was the asshole who hurt you. I was the asshole who already had everything but still threw it all away. I was the stupid cheater who chose temporary happiness over the lifetime happiness. If there's anyone to blame, it's me.

If I stay here with you, none of those dreams will happen. And I know that for sure. We're just going to ruin each other and I could not let that happen. I'll gladly take and carry all the pain as long as I know you're okay, you're happy. I know as you read this letter you won't understand my decision. I know you will hate me for this and I will gladly accept your hatred. I deserved it, after all. But I know one day, you will understand every reason behind as to why I have to go. You will survive, Camz. I know you will because you're the most strongest and fearless woman I've ever known. You will see why everything happened the way it did. It will be good. Promise me that you won't lock up yourself with my memories. Promise me that if love tries to knock on your heart again, you will open the door and try again. I'm not the right person for you, Camz. I'm nothing but a lesson. A lesson you can use to help yourself grow and be more wiser. Promise me that you will be happy and live your life to the fullest. Promise me that you won't get mad at Normani. She only cares about you. She's your best friend and she wants what's best for you. All of us do.

I love you so much, Camila. You're my life, my headache, my love, my smile, my frown, my wrong, my right, my pain, my happiness, and my everything. Without you, I'm nothing. And it scares the hell out of me how much I needed you so I can go on and live. There are so many girls I made love with and loved, but you, my princess, are the only one that makes me feel that life is worth living. You showed me light and happiness. You showed me what real love is and it doesn't matter how broken and fucked up of a person I am, you still loved me anyway. Unconditionally and truthfully. Without asking for anything in return, without thinking twice, you just loved me. You loved every single thing about me; all the beautiful and uglier parts, all the good and bad, all the things I've grown to hate, my demons, everything that makes me, me. And I don't believe there is anyone more perfect for me than you are.

I'm sorry for everything that I've done. It was never my intention to hurt you. Take care of yourself always, okay? I love you so much, Camz. And I want you to always remember this; You may not be the first girl I fell In love with but you're the last girl I will ever truly love. And if this lifetime is not ours then I'll be waiting for you in our next. Perhaps, then, we will get this whole thing right.

I won't ever forget you. And maybe that's the only forever the two of us meant to have.

Lauren.

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"The day you got hospitalised, we never saw Lauren. She suddenly disappeared in the thin air. Camila, she threw you away."