Peaky Blinders Imagines/Preferences

Tommy - Loss

"Love and sorrow, the twins... the love comes first sweet and strong, then the sorrow that we shall never again be together in this life. I can only pray that we will be reunited in the next, that God would see fit to give us more time. But for now the loss is more than my heart can take and I feel the dark clouds looming in from above to obscure the sun. If love is a divine gift then sorrow is also, for in its enormity is the proof of what used to be. And I hate you for leaving me..." A tear rolled down her icy face, the familiar chocking feeling of trying not to cry was at the back of her throat.

"I could write a million letters, each one the same as the last in sentiment and cadence. They stay the same, only the word arrangement changes. It boils down to one thing, I miss you. You should be here. Ultimately, no one knows if that is selfish or not and even if it is, to hell with the rest of the world and their opinions. You should be here. I miss you. Your pretty blue eyes, beautiful smile, wily heart, torn mind, and kind, tortured soul. My heart is missing an integral piece, a part that keeps it from working correctly. When will I let this go? When will the pain stop?" If anyone saw her now, they would think she was mad. But the tormenting pain in her chest blinded her to everything around her. She was the only one at the grave, everyone else had gone back to Tommy's home for the wake. Something she definitely couldn't handle, especially when she knew he should be there. He should be waiting at the doors, with their child in his arms, smiling as she approached them. But no. He was six foot under soil, where she could never see his face again.

And then her tears burst down her face, she was tired of holding them back in front of everyone. The salty drops rolled down her face one after the other, and she was unable to control them.

It had finally hit her that she would never see his face again unless it was a picture, and the only memory she had at the moment was his lifeless face. She had tried so hard to imagine his normal face, but her mind wouldn't let her see behind the blood. So much blood.

Her sadness turned to anger at the men who took away the love of her life, the only man to accept her.

"C'mon, lets get you back home." She heard Polly speak behind her. She thought they had all left, clearly she was wrong. She let Polly help her up, needing the short embrace shared between the two. How she wished it was Tommy's embrace.

By the time Elizabeth got home, everyone had left apart from Ada and Polly. Ada carried a tired Frances, who had Tommy's striking blue eyes. Elizabeth was more upset that their daughter would never know her father, having only spent three years of her life with him. At least Tommy and Elizabeth had almost a decade together, but a decade wasn't enough, and it should have been many more years. Frances rested her head on her mothers shoulder as Ada handed her over.

"If there's anything you need, anything at all, come to me." Ada smiled and held Elizabeth's free hand for a moment before leaving with Polly, who gave a weak smile.

She hated that they treated her as a fragile creature, but she was glad they were trying to help. Elizabeth put the sleeping child to bed before getting ready to cry herself to sleep. She wished it didn't happen, but it did, and there was no way around it. She had thought about taking the paintings of Tommy down from the walls, because she didn't want a face made of paint. She wanted the real thing, right in front of her. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. But she couldn't have that. The only piece of him left was their daughter, who they both adored. But Tommy would never be able to see her grow up, and have a family of her own.

It's like the world stopped, and Elizabeth had stopped with it. But somehow everyone else kept moving forwards, and she simply couldn't.

I MADE THE CHARACTER HAVE AN ACTUAL NAME SO IT WAS MOVE LIKE A STORY. And I'm sorry that this one was a little depressing, but I had the idea so why not lol. Hopefully there will be some happier ones to come. THANKS FOR 200+ READS!!!

Thank you for reading.