I Didn't Mean It (Doctor Who)

Ch.20: Side Effects May Include...

Recap:

I took a deep breath, heart racing, and placed the pill on my tongue. I swallowed, feeling the pill slowly slide down my throat. I stumbled backwards into a shelf, precious items crashing to the floor as my vision began to spin wildly. A blinding white light surrounded me.

~o0o~

The light slowly faded, leaving me sitting on a familiar wooden deck. I stood up shakily, looking around me. I felt a quick flash of horror as I realized I was on the Titanic. I backed up, breathing heavily, and ran into the railings behind me, stifling a scream as I nearly tipped over the edge. I regained control of myself, calming my heartbeat just enough to allow me to think. I tried to make sense of what was happening.

Ducking behind a nearby lifeboat, I peered out just in time to glimpse my past self and the Doctor strolling by, chattering and laughing. I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I saw him.

Then a lightbulb came on. The pills were taking me through the past, up until the moment I chose. It was rewinding me through my life. I stifled a yelp as I felt the ship heave. It was happening again. The ship was sinking. I peered over the edge, seeing Cybermen blasting the edge of the ship with strange blue light. The same light that had been shot at me on this ship.

I spotted the TARDIS in the distance, and I ran over to hide behind it. I waited for someone to come, remembering that the TARDIS had been flown somewhere else, leaving me and the Doctor trapped on the ship. I wonder who it was going to be. I peered out from behind it, growing impatient as no one came, and continued to cling to the railings as the ship rocked back and forth. Finally, I decided to go in myself.

I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, leaving it unlocked in case the person might come. Yet I still did not see them. My heartbeat raced as I heard time ticking away into brain. Pounding painfully with every second.

10...9...

It was the time I had left in this part of the rewind.

8...

I frantically scanned the levers and buttons I had seen the Doctor use before.

7...

I didn't want myself to go through that, but it is what made me what I am today. I needed to go through this. I was the one who flew the TARDIS away from the ship.

6...

"Okay, enough realization," I reminded myself, eyes lighting up as I saw a lever I had seen the Doctor crank often before we took off.

5...

I took a deep breath and yanked it. Nothing happened.

4...

I grew wild, desperately running around the console slamming down random buttons.

3...

I waited, strangely hopeful, as I heard a faint, sickly wheezing sound beginning to bounce through the air.

2...

I was taking off! I hung on to the railing as the TARDIS jolted through the air, definitely not as smooth as the Doctor flew it, but if worked. I fell to the ground as the TARDIS landed hard. I felt the bobbing of water and relief coursed through me. I had done it.

1

I closed my eyes as white encased me, bringing me to the next part of my life, and reopened them to find myself lying flat again, this time on the asphalt of Disneyland. People swerved around me as they saw me, barely noticing. I stood up from the hot, sunbaked concrete and scanned the crowd for my past self.

I spotted me and the Doctor hiding amid the crowd from the security guards, and for the second time I got to see the comical appearance of the Doctor in a princess Mickey Mouse-eared headband. My past self still looked pale and wide-eyed from the Tower of Terror experience, as if she (or 'I', if you will) had seen a ghost. I followed them to Space Mountain, swerving silently through the crowds of people. We were almost there.

I groaned and doubled over onto the ground as I felt a shocking pain begin to course through me. I went into a sort of coughing seizure, my vision blurring. I felt warm liquid all over my hands and held them in front of my face, staring dazedly at the sticky crimson substance that coated them. Blood. I was coughing up blood.

It's the side effects, I recalled. I felt a hand on my shouder, and heard many blurred, muffled voices all around me. "Is she okay?" They chattered, "She needs to get to a hospital!".

I saw the faint outline of someone kneeled down in front of me, their worried voice echoing painfully through my head, "Are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?".

I staggered to my feet, breaking into a sprint. I couldn't stray far from my past self, or I would fade away. I heard voices calling after me, but I kept running. The world around me was a bunch of jumbled images and words. I stumbled through the crowds of people, the side effect beginning to wear off. I began to regain control of my balance, my vision clearing gradually, and the pain was ebbing away. I spotted myself, the Doctor, and River entering the long line. I didn't have an hour to wait for the line to pass, and I had to be there when the angels came in case something happened that I needed to interfere with. I slumped against the side of the building, beginning to feel woozy once again. A quick flash of green light overwhelmed me, but it was gone as soon as it had come. I found myself sitting in the same spot next to space mountain, except my past self was gone. I searched frantically through the line, looking specifically for the head of wild blond curls that belonged to River. I spotted her, almost halfway through the line, dragging the whining Doctor behind her with my help.

I don't remember the line moving that fast, I thought to myself. I looked down at my watch, gasping as I noticed that it was 40 minutes later than it was seemingly 5 seconds ago. Another green flash engulfed me, and as it cleared I looked at my watch, noticing that it was another 40 minutes later. I was jumping sporadically through time. It was another side effect. I ran around the building, opening up the familiar staff door we had used to escape. I crawled inside, sneaking along the walls through the darkness. I winced as I heard my own screams of terror, and crouched in the corner, waiting for it to be over. I glimpsed myself falling into a sea of angels, waiting for the woman who saved me to come. But no one came.

"Does it always have to be me?" I muttered, sprinting quietly over to the angels. I activated the gun in my hand and shakily pointed it at the angels. One by one they shattered into crumbled pieces of stone on the floor. I had promised myself that I would never use this gun again. I stifled a scream as images of the Doctor falling to the ground and his blood on my hands flashed through my head.

I shook them away, heart racing as I realized my past self was looking at me, eyes squinted through the darkness, she cocked her head, struggling to see me. I held my breath, eyes wide, as I felt the numbers counting down in my head once again.

5...4...3...2...1...

A blinding white light wrapped around me like a blanket, and I was gone.