I Didn't Mean It (Doctor Who)

Ch.19: "I Didn't Mean It"

Recap:

I returned to the corner, curling back up against the walls. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep, my breath coming out in billows of white steam against the cold air. I slowly felt my consciousness slipping away until I was lost in a world of nightmares.

~o0o~

I couldn't tell how long I'd been sitting in darkness, unable to tell when when night ebbed into day and vise versa. I was beginning to think the soft dripping of water on the ground from a source I couldn't see would drive me mad, but I'm sure complete silence would have done the trick much faster.

I always found myself clinging on to the same thought, echoing at the back of my mind. I didn't mean it. As if that justified anything.

I lay back uncomfortably against the bars and looked at the drawing on the wall, my gaze doleful.

I tried to sit still and wait for the time to pass, wait for my life to ebb away over time, but the thirst dried my mouth and hunger felt as if it were eating me alive. I stared at the hole in the broken bars for what felt like hours, contemplating, before an impulse caused me to slip through and step out into the hallway. This was immensely stupid, I realized, I was going to die anyways. I guess I'll pick the adventurous way. I grabbed the bow tie, gingerly putting it in my pocket, and ran swiftly down the dark hallway, spotting light at the end.

I hissed in pain as the light hit my eyes, burning them. I doubled backward, lacing my fingers over my face like a shield. I waited for my eyes to adjust, which took an agonizingly long amount of time, before moving forward when I could finally make out the area around me.

My heart nearly leaped out of my chest as I heard a line of Daleks trailing past, jabbering in high-pitched voices. I ducked behind a nearby wall, praying that they would just keep going. I spotted the TARDIS in the distance, glowing with blue light. A ring of Daleks surrounded it. I fell back against the wall, sliding down and considering just going back to my cell and slipping once again into my silent guilt reverie. There was no use in getting out. But what else could I do? I blew a few flyaway hairs from my face, plotting out how I was going to do this. I slowly got back to my feet.

I closed my eyes, focusing on my hand. I felt the gun built into my hand activate, causing my fingers to fall away like a cap on a lighter. I aimed at a wall away from the TARDIS in the distance, hearing the loud fire ring through the air and crumble into the wall. The Daleks spun over to look at it, wheeling rapidly over to it. I took this as my cue and moved swiftly over the ground, my footsteps silent. I felt a moment of triumph that I had outsmarted the Daleks, but that feeling was quickly banished as I tripped and fell clumsily and loudly onto the floor, wincing as the loud clattering of my feet echoed through the hallway. The Daleks whipped around, screaming, "EXTERMINATE!".

"Seriously?" I stumbled to my feet and began to run, fixing my eyes on the target, the TARDIS. Gunshots fired all around me, hurtling into the wall behind me. I kept my head low, skidding across the floor and practically flying into the side of the TARDIS. I practically flung open the doors, slamming them shut behind me.

I pulled out my TARDIS key and locked the doors, sighing with relief as I heard the banging and muffled voices of Daleks outside, unable to get in. I made my way to the control console, looking hysterically at the mass of levers and buttons.

"How did you do this?!" I asked, as if the Doctor could hear me. I needed to go back to save the Doctor. I sighed, agitated, when I remembered something the Doctor had once showed me. I skidded down the hallway and into the room where the Doctor kept his space souveneirs, at least that's what I called them. Shelves were lined with strange alien items, some I remembered from our journeys, some I had never seen before. I came upon a small pot glowing with blue light. I peered inside, eyes lighting up as I saw three small glowing blue pills inside. I scooped them gently into my hand, admiring their beauty. I remembered finding these when the Doctor had first shown me this room.

"I call them Time Pills," he had said, "Their real name is lost".

"What do they do?" I asked as Doctor plopped a few into the center of my palm.

Doctor smiled, his face lit up with blue light as if he were telling a horror story. "They allow you to interfere with time. You whisper the time and place of the past in which you want to erase yourself, so that the present you can travel back to that moment and impede with what your past self had done".

I turned them over in my hand. "But they're very dangerous, more to be admired than to be used," Doctor said, plucking them from my palm and back into the bowl, "They have many side effects".

I let the memory fade, back to the present. I sifted a capsule through my fingers, taking a deep breath. "Sorry Doctor," I said, and put my lips to a pill, whispering gingerly, "December 23, 2011, 2:32 P.M.". The pill coursed with bright light, flashing with images of that moment, like pictures.

I took a deep breath, heart racing, and placed the pill on my tongue. I swallowed, feeling the pill slowly slide down my throat, and stumbled backwards into a shelf, precious items crashing to the floor as my vision began to spin wildly. A blinding white light surrounded me.