Divorce (hurts)

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Relationships end all the time.  Same is true for adults, and it sucks.  Divorce is a loser's game.  Everyone loses, it's only a question of how much or how badly people get hurt, not if they get hurt.  And it affects everyone.  But like a sickness, continuing to prolong shitty things as they are isn't helpful to anyone involved.  I've read that it's worse for parents to "stay together for the sake of the kids" and be miserable than to separate and be happy.

Would you rather have two parents apart that are happy or two parents together who are miserable?

Who knows why relationships end.  It's particularly terrible when it's your care-taker - your parents are supposed to take care of you and be together for you, for your life!  But just like with any romantic relationship, theirs may not last, even if they have kids and a family.  

Sucks that their broken relationship affects you, their children - but it would be much worse if they stayed together and were miserable all the time, like a cancer in your house.  Bad situation -- divorce. Worse situation - staying together but miserable.

I'm not someone who should even be commenting on this as my parents are not divorced.  But most of my friend's parents are and I know this is a topic that hurts a lot of people.  I only wanted to comment so maybe something I say would help someone gain some perspective on it -- that it's not your fault you were born and brought into this family that broke apart, that your parents' decisions affect you but were not caused by you, and that sometimes it's better that they go their separate ways even though it sucks and breaks up your family.  Nothing good comes from divorce.  But it can be worse.  And parents aren't perfect.  No relationship is perfect.  And even if it ends, much like relationships in your life will end, love for you still exists even underneath all of those other family issues.

We all are worthy. We were created. But we didn't get to choose our parents, our family or where we live. And some of those things might be shit. So your parents might be divorced. And that's hard because they are or were your caretaker. So as their child you can't understand how they could separate from you. It goes against nature. They are supposed to be together and take care of you. That makes sense and is understandable for how you feel.

But, if you ever had a relationship and broke up with that person, it's exactly the same with your parents, just with bigger stakes involved.

People break up all the time. Relationships end all the time. That too is part of nature. That your parents' relationship ended after a while is not surprising. It's surprising to stay together for a long time in nature. Neither one is wrong in the laws of nature.  Regardless, it sucks.  And none of it is your fault or a reflection of you. What is a reflection of you, is how you behave and choose to live your life despite what's going on around you.


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