Not Seeing The Obvious (NSTO)

Chapter 15

New year. New me. Usually I despise anyone who uses those words but when life is great it is appropriate. Being back at uni is amazing. I really love the fact I have less modules to worry about. I have 4 now. I also love that my lectures all start later than 9:30 in the morning but most of all I love the fact that I do not have to share a room with a dragon anymore. I have a room all to myself and now can decorate it as I please.

I am still friends with Mercedes and Kendra and finally, a few of our classmates have opened up to our trio and now we are six. I guess we are no longer intimidating as people thought we were. I can't believe it took a whole year for people to warm up to us. Are we really that bad? Never mind. The new girls in our crew are Charlotte, Karen and Olga.

Charlotte is an all-rounder type of person. She is crazy about sport, specifically lacrosse it's no wonder she is the team captain this year. She is also one of the top students in my course Fashion Forensic Psychology and is now on Dean's list. My girl is mostly all about work but it does not mean she does not know how to play. As much as Char sounds like a super fit, bookworm girl she is probably the laziest person I know. I am still baffled at how she gets away with murder.

She believes that Tuesdays and Fridays are meant for partying. She says as much Tuesday is supposed to be the most productive day of the week she believes that the best way to spend it is to party. Friday's reason is obvious because it is the weekend. I say if you can have your cake and eat, there is no problem. And Char doesn't shy away from cake and I think it is her favourite food. In terms of appearance, she is about 5"7, athletically built with Rapunzel length chestnut hair. Everyone thought she wore hair extensions for a long time because no one believed anyone's hair could be that long.

Karen is the second mother of the group, with me being the first. She was a party animal last year but after attending an Encounter conference she changed her ways and now she a firm believer of Jesus Christ. As much she has changed I like how she is not shoving religion down anyone's throat because I believe finding yourself should come from you and because someone told you to. I am still confused at why she took our course because she is really great at the fashion part of it and designing and I feel a fashion academy would have explored her talent more. I feel her talent isn't appreciated her. When I did get to talk to her, it made sense because her family doesn't believe in fashion designing and this was the only thing they were going to pay for.

Karen has Ariel the mermaid red hair and is about the same height as me (5"3), she is medium built but has so much pressure from here mum to be leaner. I personally feel she is fine but if your mother is always on your case about your weight, it forces you to be unhappy with yourself. The worst of it all is how her mum compares her to her older sister Karly because she is 'ideal' model size. The other problem is that her mum is model sized too so the pressure for her is just unbearable. Even though Karen might be going through the hell she never fails not to smile and the evidence in her ditch-deep dimples and kind green eyes just makes you feel good in your heart.

Olga. The foreign exchange student from Germany. I don't even know how it happened because a lot of people don't know about Corpumiber (my country). I think a lot of shady business must have happened for her to be here. She never wants to talk about how she got here. I know this because an idiot tried asking her about it and the idiot ended up with a broken nose so everyone knows not to ever bring it up. I love foreign people there is always a lot to learn about them especially the languages. Maybe it is because I always feel like an outsider and never want anyone to go through what I have been through. Olga does have a natural tendency to scare people off. It comes from her hard look which other people consider to be harsh.

She has a pitch razor cut bob with electric blue tips on top. She only wears black make-up from eyeshadow to lipstick. Her nails are either natural or black. I thought I loved black until I met this girl. Black on black and black everything. To accessorise I'd say she leaves that to her piercings. She has an eyebrow piercing on her left eyebrow, a Monroe piercing on the right side above her lip, a nose piercing on the left nostril and to top it all off a septum piercing. Not forgetting to mention the ear piercing party going on both of her ears. I am sure she has body piercings but I wouldn't ask her.

She says she used to be ginger and simple back in the old country. Trying to imagine that is really hard. Apparently, she has sky-blue eyes but wears brown contacts because it is closer to black. She did try black contacts but even she felt it was too much. Olga is team thick with me but she drowns herself in black sacks to hide her body which ends up making her bigger than she really is because she is smaller than I am. She says she never wants to be idolised for the body and shape so she purposefully hides it.

At res, I usually try to dress up to open the door just to look decent. Nothing fancy, just a jacket or gown to hide my black spaghetti strap tank top and grey sweat pants. It is mostly to hide my nipples when I refuse to wear a bra at home. Typically it's usually a girl at the door and I don't mind so much but it does not mean I don't feel self-conscious, exposed and vulnerable. Today, he was the last person I expected at the door.

"What are you doing here Conrad?"

I am waiting for an answer and he is struggling to come up with one. He then moves me away from the door, shuts the door and then looks at me.

"I'm still waiting for a response."

"Can I ask you something?"

I couldn't help but to cringe and correct him. "Can is having the ability to do something and May is asking for permission."

"Oh shut up Lynn."

He grabs me and starts kissing me. I pull away. What in the hell does he think he is doing? How dare he comes in here and confuse my hormones? Why do I still want to kiss him? As I am having a mental discussion with myself he is slowly pulling me in to kiss me again. I give in. I let him kiss me. And I kissed him back.

"I love you."

"What?"

What a way to kill the mood. I don't love Conrad. I love how he makes me feel when we kiss.

"I love you, Lydia Brown. I choose you."

"Where is this coming from Conrad?"

"My mother made me choose between being with you and losing my inheritance. I chose you. It is the end of all confusion."

"The end of the confusion? As much as you may have strong feelings for me, where exactly would this ever go in the long-term future? I mean we are not the same. Different backgrounds, social classes and the big one, race. Have you thought of how this story ends? I date you, then what. You know your mother does not like me. We elope? Disregard family and start our lives together. Are you prepared to lose your inheritance over a girl? Are you prepared for a forever?"

"I know I am ready. I even want to marry you. Say yes."

"I...can't."

"You can't say you never had feelings for me."

"This is true. I did love you. I do love you even now but not in the way that you do. And because I love you so much, I can't let you do this. Go home to your mother and tell her that you made a mistake and weren't thinking straight. I am really trying to help you here."

I actually did not say that. It is what I should have said but instead, this is what I did tell him. 

"I never had feelings for you. I need you to leave."

"But..."

- "Nothing. Leave Conrad. Now!"

With that, I pushed him out of my way, opened the door and motioned for him to leave. I shut the door knowing that I had just broken my best friend's, heart.