Shattering Love

Chapter 50: Feelings

Cameron's P.O.V.

"So I guess tonight really is our last night in the apartment." I say smiling towards Shawn.

"Yup." he says smiling back. It's a weak smile, usually cast when he's holding something back. Since the test results, saying goodbye to Nevada, Derrick and Summer, the flight, and this ride home, he hasn't said one thing regarding the baby. I'm not gonna force him to talk about it either. At first I was pissed cause how can he honestly be sad that that baby isn't his but then I realized he spent a really long time thinking that the baby was; he's gotta have some kind of anger or confusion or sadness built up in him. Hopefully he'll talk tonight; I'll give him one of the best massages I've ever given him. Maybe see if it leads into something else.

"You want anything to eat?" I ask him. "It's 9 o'clock, so we'll probably have to get drive through."

"I'm not really hungry." he says. I roll my eyes, deciding in my head McDonalds. I pull into the drive through. He looks at me smiling. "I said I wasn't hungry." he says cutely.

"I know." I say smiling. "You want your usual?" I ask him.

"Yah." he says, trying to hide his smile.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just you."

"Oh wow. Thanks." I say laughing.

"No no, I didn't mean that in a bad way babe." He playfully hits my shoulder. "It's just like you know, I'm a little emotionally stressed about Summer and you're not pushing me to talk about it."

"Do you want me to?" I ask confused.

"No! No! I'm glad you're not making me talk about it. That's what I'm saying; that you're giving me some time to think before questioning me."

"Well I'm not gonna question you. I'm gonna let you come to me when you wanna talk about it." I say smiling.

"Thank you." he says looking out the window. I'm kind of sensing that he wants me to ask him so that he can rant to me about it. Maybe; maybe. I grab ahold of his hand. I lift it up to my face and kiss the top of it.

"I love you Shawn." He looks back at me smiling. I can tell he wants to cry; he's doing a good job of holding it back.

"I love you too Cameron." He lets go of my hand, and reclines his seat back. He stares out the window again. I pull through the drive through, ordering two number 10s with a large coke and large sprite. Shawn's been taking a liking to Sprite lately. We get our food and I start driving to our apartment. It's gonna be our real last night here. Shawn unbuckles, leaning his seat all the way back. I look at him smiling. A flashback flashes into my head:

The street light shines red. I slow to a stop. I look over at Shawn. His eyes are closed. Bruno Mars "Just the Way You Are" is playing.

"I love this song baby."

"I know." He says smiling. The light turns green and I start driving forward. In the middle of the intersection I look over at Shawn. Through his window I can see a large semi driving straight for my car. Time slows to almost a stop. I see Shawn laying there perfect almost asleep. I see his seatbelt is buckled, as is mine. I see the semi start to collide with my car. Shawn's window starts to bust, pieces of glass shattering into the air. The car is moving to the left now. I see Shawn's face stop smiling and feel my head collide with the space between the front seat and back seat window. Everything is black, and I hear a loud buzz. Then everything goes dead silent. (Excerpt from Chapter 45 of Shameron: Confusing Love.)

"Buckle up Shawn!" I yell, almost hitting my brakes. He jumps up scared at first.

"What the hell?" he says laughing. "You really scared me."