Behind These Walls I Built

Chapter 22 - Save your love talk for someone else

Chapter 22 – Save your love talk for someone else

     “So did you kill him?” Marilyn asked curiously, waiting for my answer impatiently. She laid it off with the makeup now, just applying some light lip gloss and some foundation. Her clothes are more carefree but still nice instead of the tight and uncomfortable ones. She looks so much better than before. Now she doesn’t apply a big amount of makeup and her clothes are not tight-fitting and girly. She looks natural and I like it.

     I gave her a sad smile and shook my head.

     Marilyn’s mouth shaped into an ‘o’. “Why?” Her hand on her hips and she looked at me with a perplexed expression. She was shocked and confused.

     “Well, I managed to get inside his house, but then when I was about to kill him, his Aunt came in.” I told her finally, and to say the least, she was baffled as she gasped, clasping her hand on her mouth.

     “She saw it?” asked Marilyn.

     Again, I shook my head. Marilyn’s tensed shoulders eased as she let out a sigh of relief. “She really came at the perfect time,” Marilyn said sarcastically, but I could see there was something off about her, like it wasn’t a full sarcasm and there’s something else she wanted to say.

     “I feel like there’s something else you want to tell me,” I told her, but then the teacher from the front asked us to settle down and be quiet. I’m sure the teacher couldn’t hear us except for the soft whispers.

     After the teacher focused on her book again, Marilyn leaned in and whispered, “Why is it such a perfect timing? I mean, it couldn’t be that accurate, there must be something going on…”

     “What do you mean?” I asked in confusion.

     “Well, maybe you couldn’t kill him, maybe you want to, but you can’t, because you love him. That’s how love works. It twists you in a very unimaginable way.” She explained, and eyed my expression. I was just a little bewildered. I didn’t kill him because I couldn’t; it was because Aunt Charlotte came in when I was about to.

     “Marilyn, I didn’t kill him because-” My index finger pointed upwards while I tried to explicate but she beat me to it.

     “I know, I know. You told me so.” She rolled her eyes at me.

    “So?”

     “You don’t understand love, now do you?” Marilyn asked me, with one of her eyebrows lifted up. To say the least, even though I don’t understand love, I don’t want to. I didn’t need that talk about love, like I always say, ‘love is for weak people’, and I’m not. So I don’t bother to try to understand. It’s a waste of time.

     “Please don’t give me that talk – you could save it for someone else who is actually interested.” I answered her with a cool tone.

     “Oh, Dawn…” I didn’t know why but Marilyn gave me one of her sympathy looks and I didn’t like it.

     “It’s alright if you don’t believe me,” I said with my arms crossed on my chest, “but I’m going to show you that I can kill him without love getting in the way. I’m not going to change because of love. It’s stupid and absurd.” I couldn’t understand why people are so blind when it comes to love. Don’t they know that in the end, it’s just going to tore you into pieces?

     “You don’t believe in love?” Marilyn asked in disbelief.

     I gave her a truthful answer, “I was going to… but I realize that it was all just a waste of time. Actually, I always thought that it was a waste of time; I didn’t even know why I changed my mind, it only made me weaker. But I know better now.”