Can't Lose You

Chapter 11

8th November, 2008 was when my uncle passed away. This day holds immense importance for me so I chose this date. It was as the first time I experienced how death can rip families apart and shred them into pieces.
I hope no one ever finds themselves stuck in these kind of situations.

Remember that you're strong enough to face any challenge and I pray that God gives you strength and courage to conquer all.

Happy day and happy reading,
Nemo💛

UNEDITED
-------------

🔸We understand death for the first time when he puts his hands upon someone we love. 🔸

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

(Continuation...)
8th November,2013

I don't remember anything.

Yet I can't seem to forget anything.

I didn't cry.

I couldn't.

I didn't know what to feel.
How to feel.

I don't remember who called the ambulance, but it was there when I gained consciousness. I was being pulled out of the car.

I don't know who called Mom, but she was there too. I felt like sitting on the sidelines watching the scene unfold before me as Baba's strangled scream rung through my head over and over again.

Mom dashed out of the car before it even stopped. She sprinted towards where baba was.

Cops swarmed our car and the U-haul, doing their work

Mom ran faster and fought when a cop tried to block her advance. She screamed, kicked, yelled when needed but she never backed down. Her snowy hair was a blur, and her makeup that had always been on point was running down her face.

I didn't notice Saph until her arms wrapped around me. She tightened the embrace even though the paramedic by my side warned her to. She didn't care. Heck, neither did I.

Her body started shaking violently, So i hugged her back.

When I heard a blood curling scream, I flinched and saw Mom beside Baba in the middle of the road cradling him like a fragile baby as she rocked back and forth. She buried her face in his chest before another dreadful scream erupted from within her. The cops were suddenly hesitant, as they tried to push her away but she didn't budge.

I tsked which made Saph look at me. Her face was wet and so was my soccer jersey.

"You know he's only playing. He's gonna sit up any moment and do that 'gotcha' thing he always does with mom. Mom is gonna get a sore throat for no reason. You need to tell her to stop." I said and looked at her

Her eyes were puffy. Her usually sleek white blond hair were wild, sticking out in all directions. Her bottom lip trembled before she gave an ugly cry and pulled me close.

The paramedic told me to head to the ambulance so they can do run a quick check.

I didn't go even when they tried really hard, I told them I was fine, so they asked me a few questions, maybe since I hit my head. momentarily they got off my back.

Mom hadn't budged from where she sat. She refused to as she clung on Baba like a possessive witch. She didn't let anyone touch him or get near him.

So I waited while Saph cried on my shoulder. I waited and waited. Nothing happened. I waited some more but only Mom's screams got louder when  they pulled her away from Baba and took him towards the ambulance.

I waited for Baba to sit up until the doors closed. He never did.

I looked back at mom who curled on the road and stared off in the direction the ambulance had taken off. That's when I noticed the blood on her hands and on her clothes.

Like I thought, I didn't feel dizzy or at the verge of passing out at the sight of blood.

Because all I felt was numbness.

I hadn't notice I had been unconsciously mumbling 'it's gonna be okay.' to Saph until she got in my face and violently shook me.

"It's not gonna be okay. Zee! Do you even realise what happened?! Baba wasn't playing around! He's gone! He's fucking gone, Violet!"

Her words felt like a splash of cold water. I staggered a few steps back and glanced at our car which looked more like a piece of junk now.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.." I closed my eyes and opened them again. My heart lurched when it dawned on me. The driver's side of the car had been completely mashed in while the passenger side looked nearly untouched, except for the broken windows.

He had turned the car to the right at the very last moment. He was trying to save me.

God damn it!

Was I the reason he...

A tear rolled down my cheek right then but I made no attempt to wipe it.

I waited for the dams to let lose but no more tears escaped my eyes.

His scream rung out me.

His arm went limp.

His breaths came out heavy.

I clasped a hand over my mouth and slowly, I dragged myself where Mom laid, and sat beside her. I reached out towards her but retreated back when I couldn't muster up the courage to do so.

I killed him. We wouldn't have been on this motherfucking road if it weren't for my stupid sprain. If I hadn't been in the car, he wouldn't have been dead.

I was the reason he...he's gone.

"Ma?" Saph croaked shaking me from my thoughts. She crouched near me and shook mom.

She didn't acknowledge us. Not like she was trying to ignore us, but more like as if we weren't even there, like she couldn't even see us.

Her sapphire eyes that always had a spark, and the charismatic aura she seemed to carry with her, evaporated.

Now her eyes seem,..distant. Dead. Her gaze stayed unflinching as she stared off in the distance.

On that ungrateful day, not only did we lose our father but we lost our mother too.