Psychotically Perfect

Damien

I sit at the bar staring at my glass. After a while of drinking, your mind starts getting to you. You're sitting in a bar, getting drunk off your ass, trying to forget about him. He won this fucking break up. Of course, he did. I'm a submissive little slut that does whatever he's told if it'll make that miserable bastard happy. I don't have a daddy or a master anymore. I never want another one but I always seem to find myself in the same situation. I wish, just once, that I could like a guy that wasn't a self-centered bastard looking for a plaything and nothing else. I'm sick of my shit. Get it together dumbass!

I drink what's left of the whisky in my glass, throw some money on the table and walk out, quietly yelling at myself.

If you haven't managed to figure it out yet, I'm gay. That doesn't seem to be as big of a deal as it is in the 'normal world'. You probably think I have magical powers or something now, don't you? No, I don't. There's your world and my world. Your world is full of idiots complaining about bullshit that isn't worth nothing to anybody. You all think you have problems and you go about your day being ridiculous twats while we deal with the shitty people of the world trying to kill and rape each other.

That's your world. The normal world. You're probably going to doubt me when I say this but my world is probably more tolerant and sane. We don't have homophobia and racism and all the other bullshit you've come up with. When you're in this business that doesn't matter. We have the main objective and we only get paid once it's completed so we all work together to do our job then go our separate ways. The fuck can't you idiots do that?

I'm not saying our world is perfect. Our world's pretty shit. Sexism isn't as severe but it's there. Girls constantly getting abused, thrown around, used like sex toys and thrown away afterwards. Cold, dead, nothing. It's not just girls. 

I walk down the street to my apartment. When I say apartment I mean whatever dump I'm staying at before I have to go somewhere for another mission. 

I fall on my bed and think about the time I've spent with that asshole. Bastard broke up with me because I wasn't fun anymore. He couldn't have figured that out 3 months ago?! Son of a bitch!

I sigh and look at the time on my phone. 1:54. 

I'm so done with dating.

Yeah, this was shit. I know. I'm sorry. Not really. I'm not taking this book seriously. I can't do sappy bullshit and breakup remorse so don't judge me if this becomes unbelievably shit because I'm trying my best. Not really but still.