Poker Face ✔

Chapter 45

Hawaii had always been a get away for the Ashtons.

Chace drove me to the airport where I would catch my flight to Hawaii and he would catch his flight home. Aunt Kat organized for me to stay at a five-star resort, where I could swim, drink, and do literally anything I want.

I was there for two weeks; two weeks with nothing but my thoughts it seemed. I had no supervision which was something I was not used to. My family made sure that I always had someone by my side, I didn't know why till later.

"What can I get for you?" the blond, green-eyed man asked as standing behind the bar; wearing a green polo shirt.

"Mai Tai thanks" I ordered at the outdoor bar.

I twisted my body around to look out to the huge pool, forty or so feet in front of me. There were people swimming, drinking, talking and even sunbathing.

I just sat on that stool in my aqua blue bikini, admiring the view.

What was I going to do here for two weeks? Well, it depended on who you asked.

If I asked my cousin Miranda she would say something like, "drink, get a tan and hook up with cute guys"

If I asked my sister Katie she would say something like, "have fun but keep in shape"

Chris would give me dozens of menu recommendations as well as a list of sights to see.

Michael and Tyler would tell me to do pool laps to stay fit. Aunt Kat said to me, "get healthy". Chace said, "enjoy yourself, you deserve it".

"One Mai Tai" The bartender announced as placing it beside me.

When I'm out in public, I do what most people don't; I study those around me. Usually, by staring discreetly and mentally note taking their every move.

You could tell a lot by a person by their body language; eighty per cent of the time, I don't even pay attention to what one is saying when I'm interacting with them.

I watch them fidget, tapping their feet, licking their lips. Anything a person does (even subconsciously) can be a dead give away; to their fears and even weaknesses.

Call me what you will; creepy, a stalker, overly attentive, crazy; whatever you like but I see it as good training.

Not knowing who's around you can be dangerous - I've got to scars to prove it.

I guess paranoia had been inbuilt in me over the years.

I took sips of my Mai Tai and sighed. I have to spend the next two weeks alone; just great.

I guess growing up in a big family made it impossible for me to me by myself.

"You know you might be asked to leave soon" a man approached me slowly, wearing navy blue swim shorts.

"Excuse me?" I turned my head to him.

"Its just you're making the other women look bad" He licked his lips. "...With your beauty and all"

I turned my head back to the pool with a slight smirk. I was being hit on, that's something that never happened with my family hanging around.

"I'm Ryan" he announced as taking a seat beside me. Ryan pulled his hands out towards me; expecting a handshake. I ignored him, as a result, he dropped his hand. "You know you're as pretty as my mum"

At that moment I turned to look at the man who couldn't be any older than twenty-two. "That was terrible" I laughed at him.

"Did the sun just come up or are you smiling at me?" Ryan smirked. I looked down and facepalmed. "You know the only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name" he said.

I never gave out my real name. Tania was the alias that I usually used.

"Tania" I announced.

Ryan was the perfect distraction; good looking, great body, and a laugh.

Before I knew it, we were in his room.

Ryan became a guy that I depended on in Hawaii. Whenever I was feeling lonely or homesick, I would call him and he would be there. The longest conversation we had lasted almost seven minutes from memory. The nature of our relationship was purely sexual, we were both happy with things that way.

I snuck out of Ryan's room one night at two am. The pool was closed but I couldn't care less. I jumped the fence and jumped from the pavement.

I just laid there on my back taking slow deep breaths till my skin was shriveled up. I couldn't seem to get my family out of my head, Jason especially. He was the person I was with the last time I was in Hawaii.

We were both drinking underage and making trouble with the locals. We always did get up to no good, things changed after he died.

He was a kid, sent on a risky job by his father, then murdered by the Larrunzarios. Uncle Nate didn't forgive himself after that night - I mean how could he? I couldn't even forgive myself when in hindsight I really did nothing wrong.

Perhaps on some level it was Jason's fault, like the family had been saying all along.

I guess I just missed his smile and the crappy advice he used to give me. The truth was, I just wanted my drinking buddy back - someone who didn't look at me as though I were the elephant in my room.

I took a deep breath before sinking to the bottom of the pool as an attempt to drown out all the memories that were fighting their way back to me.