Kookiemonster (request)

Start from the beginning
                                    

"Jungkook." Namjoon started but Jungkook couldn't take it anymore. Tears started to whelm up in his eyes and streaming down his cheek. There was no stopping them as he had waited a long time to get them out. "Why are you crying? What's wrong?" Namjoon asked worried.

"It's nothing." His head was one big mess of questions and things he wanted to say.

"Babe I've never seen you cry so much please tell me why." Namjoon begged and Jungkook looked at him. He seemed really sad, his eyes were filled with worry. Jungkook thought that this time he might actsully listen so he took a deep breath.

"Namjoon you know I don't like you smoking but-I don't just 'not like it'. I hate it with all my heart. These past day I've had to hold my breath whenever I kiss you because I can't stand the smell. You're having breathing problems now but it still dosn't stop you. You constantly promise me to stop but the next day you're smoking again. You make fake excuses to me and honestly Namjoon, I don't understand how you can look into my eyes and just lie to me." Jungkook said and it felt so good getting it all of his chest even though he might have sounded harsh in the end. Namjoon was quiet for a while but then took his hands away from Jungkook's body and stepped back. Jungkook couldn't tell what was happening in his mind.

"I'll buy some mouthwash so you can kiss me again and I'll start to run so my health will get better that way." Namjoon said and Jungkook was shocked to hear how he held onto to it.

"Your health won't matter if you're dead." Jungkook said and looked down. He knew it was a risk to say that and he could tell Namjoon was getting angry.

"It's my life Jungkook! You can't control what I do!" Namjoon said and Jungkook could tell he was trying not to raise his voice.

"It's my life too! We are a couple so what is your problem is mine too!" Jungkook said and slowly the tears stopped. He could feel little cracks starting to form in his heart. "Why is it that you want to smoke so bad? Do you think it makes you cool? Is that it? Do you feel pressured by your friends?"

"Fuck Jungkook, don't you think a little higher of me? I do it because I want to, it makes me relaxed." Namjoon said clearly angry now.

"And it makes me scared! How can you live with yourself knowing your boyfriend, dosn't want to have sex with you because of you smelling of smoke? And lying me straight to the face saying you'll stop when I know you're just saying that to shut me up? I wonder sometimes if you even love me as much as I love you since you won't quit." Jungkook said which was all true. They hadn't had sex for at least a month because Jungkook didn't want Namjoon's fingers touching him and his breath was too much.

"What else could I do? You were nagging me to stop when I don't want to! Honestly if you loved me so much you wouldn't ask me to stop." Namjoon said and now he raised his voice.

"I ask you to stop because I love you so much! I can't stand seeing you do this to yourself! I come crying to you telling you all my worries and what do you do? Come with some stupid thing you call a solution. It won't help on your lungs getting worse." Jungkook said and realised how upset he was. He could hardly regonize the person standing infront of him. The Namjoon he remembered was sweet and caring. He would give Jungkook the moon if he asked for it. He kissed him whenever he felt down. Then he started to smoke from so unknown reason and since then their relationship had gotton just slightly worse. "Either you chose the cigarettes or me because I can't stand seeing you killing yourself anymore." Jungkook said with tears in his eyes.  He hoped Namjoon would realise how big of a problem it was and chose Jungkook. He hoped with all of his heart.

"Fine. The door is that way." Namjoon said and Jungkook's heart broke completely.

"You're an asshole, did you know that?" Jungkook said his voice was colder than it had ever been before. "Have fun dying." Jungkook said and knew he went way over the line but he didn't care. He walked past Namjoon and put on his shoes and jacket. Namjoon didn't stop him so he walked out the door. He loved Namjoon a lot but this was too much. When he turned a corner he started to cry again. He was sad it was over with Namjoon but he couldn't keep living his life expecting Namjoon to change and watch as he didn't. It was too hard and made him too sad. Jungkook heard their door open and he turned around the corner to see Namjoon. He was crying too and Jungkook wanted to go over and hug him but didn't let himself.

"Jungkook." Namjoon said and walked closer to Jungkook who took a step back.

"I meant what I said." Jungkook said and Namjoon stopped. "If you don't quit smoking, I'm done. It's killing me to see you killing yourself." Namjoon looked down and the pure fact he hesitated was enough answer to Jungkook.

"I'm sorry." Namjoon said and turned around and walked into the apartment again. Jungkook let the last tears he had free as he walked out into the night leaving Namjoon and his lies behind him for good.

I hope you liked it ^.^

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