Dead Attachment

Chapter Sixteen : Feelings

-SIXTEEN-

FEELINGS

                I close my eyes and recall what happened today, feeling the soft texture of my pillow on my skin, and remember that, besides the fact that Sheena didn’t call me, nothing peculiar has happened today. As much as I don’t want to include it, I’ve got to add yet.

                I feel my eyes are getting heavy. I imagine I’m sleeping on a cloud instead of my bed and my imagination helped me doze off quickly.

                Darlene.

                Everything is black and I hear the voice again. I feel my whole body tense because I know for sure it’s not my Mom, but Christopher. I shut my eyes tight, realizing that the brain doesn’t sleep and hope its still working, as I mentally force myself to wake up.

                Darlene.

                The voice is getting closer. I can tell that he’s only inches away from me, making an unexpected chill run through me again.

                Darlene.

                “Leave me alone!” I scream at the top of my lungs, not caring if he’s already in front of me.

                I feel cold all of a sudden. I shiver, making my jaw tremble from the coldness. “Don’t go near me. I said leave me alone.”

                That’s when I feel my whole body is paralyzed and my eyes are opened against my will. I’m just standing there as I see him emerge in front of me from the darkness.

“You. . .” I hiss at him. Fortunately he didn’t paralyze my mouth too. “What did you do to me?!”

“I just sent a chill again.”

“No you didn’t. You paralyzed me!”

“I just sent a chill. To let you know it’s me.”

“You didn’t have to. It was obvious with that voice of yours.”

He suddenly smirks and I have no idea why. “You recognized my voice?”

“Of course I did. It made me terrified.”

He blinks and stares at me with pain visible for a moment through his deep, blue eyes. “I didn’t want to terrify you.”

I feel like I can move again. I wrap my arms around me and exhale. “This is definitely terrifying. Why do you keep on appearing in my dream anyway?”

“I’ve told you already. It’s because—”

“You like me? That’s impossible. Ghosts don’t have feelings anymore. They left their bodies buried in the ground along with their feelings—”

“You’re wrong.”

“So maybe you’re just pulling up a prank to get me to help you cross the other side. You know, I could’ve done something if you asked nicely.”

“That’s not true.” He murmurs. His body tenses as I just blurt out things that I don’t even know.

“Maybe you’re the reason Grandma stopped sleeping here. Maybe you are! You even terrified her! How could you!”

“Stop it. Stop talking.”

“Why?” I scoff. “Why do you keep appearing in my dream? I told you that dreams are private yet you still keep on appearing!”

I pant, out of breath to what I just said. He looks calmly at me. His eyes studying mine, makes me feel stiff. “You finished?”

“No, I’m not yet finished.”

“What is it that you still want to know?”

As I start to breathe evenly, I take a moment first. “I just—tell me why? Why me? Why in my dreams? Why now? Why are you still here? Why? I need an answer.”

He suddenly disappears and I wake up finding myself gasping. “You need an answer?”

I quickly sit up and open my eyes. The lamp on the desk beside my bed is open which helps me see this figure at the foot of my bed.

It’s him. Christopher.

He looks more stunning in this form. He looks like a real human. Not those types of ghosts that you can see through them because he’s different. He’s clear and real. I rub my eyes again to see if somebody is really there. He suddenly smirks and bows his head.

“My true form.”

I’m mesmerized. I suddenly find myself crawling out of bed, setting aside the covers, and take small, slow steps towards Christopher.

I stand in front of him, feeling myself drawn towards him as I let my hand run through his cold, icy cheek. I find myself gasping for air as I step back, feeling the cold linger in my fingers. “Christopher?”

He smiles. “It is I, Christopher Cavendish.”

I shake my head, feeling everything spin around me. “No. You’re not real. You can’t be real.”

I feel my knees weaken and as I feel myself falling on the ground, he grabs me with his cold, icy hands, making me shiver once more. “Darlene, look at me.”

I feel weak and just do as he says. His blue eyes are hypnotic, making me just stare into his.

“I’m real. I’m here. This is the reason why I didn’t want to do this because. . .because. . .” He croaks out. “I know you’ll be scared of me. I know this’ll happen. I know—”

“Then why didn’t you just leave me alone?” I say flatly. He stares at me, looking taken aback at what I just said.

“I-I went here to enjoy my summer a-and I never thought it could be this. . .hard. Ever since I started feeling those chills, I never stopped freaking out, never stopped feeling anxious of what was really going on. Can’t you see it? Don’t you realize I’m acting this wrecked because of—”

“Me.” He helps me stand up and releases me. He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “Me.”

Slowly, he starts to appear blurry. “Christoph—”

“I’m sorry.” He says, before I reach out to him and feel nothing there anymore.