Cold Feet (COMPLETED)

Heather

Before anything else, I would like to greet my readers who are mommies like me, a Happy Mother's Day! I hope you felt the love of your family today, as much as I have :) 

To those who are single, please hug your moms and Grandmothers for me, and make them feel your love, because one day is so not enough to give back love for all mommies who sacrifice for us. And as a tribute to all mommies out there, this chapter is lovingly written and dedicated to all of you.

This chapter will give a glimpse about Dei's mysterious mom, how she was when she was carrying Dei as a baby inside her womb. I cried while writing this, because the excitement and love felt for an unborn child is so touching and selfless. We love our babies even before we see what they look like or what gender they will be. Only a mother is capable of loving based on faith and blind trust.

I hope I captured the essence of motherhood in this special chapter, and I also wish Alden feels his mom's love until now, even when she has already gone ahead years ago. May we all give our moms the love we feel in our hearts because once they move on ahead of us, the pain will be so great, it's like part of us went with them too. 

I love you all my dears :)

"You want to read the letter alone, baby?"

"No, Jay. Let's read it together."

Dear Dei,

First of all, best wishes to you and Richard on your wedding. I envy you, what else is new? You seem to get everything I ever wanted for myself......loving parents, a stable income, peace of mind, a loving husband. 

They say happiness is a choice, and maybe they're right. But it's hard to choose happiness when you see someone who has everything you want. And that's what made me hate you, Dei. You enthrall people effortlessly, attract luck easily.

I'm leaving the ancestral house in New Manila to you and Richard. It was never sold, the money I gave you was from other properties I sold before I left for the US. I know it was mean of me to make you believe it was sold, knowing how much the house meant to you, so I'm giving it back to you as a wedding gift.

There's a key that comes with this letter, it's a safety deposit box key, the box is in the BPI branch across the ancestral house. The box contains documentation for the house, along with other things I should have given to you way before I left.

I've been cruel to you for keeping all these things all this time Dei. I'm so sorry. Maybe my bitterness for your happiness is what caused me to be so unhappy. I hope with letting go of all this, I can have peace of mind now to pursue my own happiness without competing with you.

I wish you the best.

Coleen

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Richard and Dei were escorted to the network of safety deposit boxes by the branch cashier. Together, Dei's key and the master key of the branch cashier opens the mysterious box. The branch cashier excuses herself to give them privacy to see the contents of the box. With hands shaking, Dei goes over the contents, her heart beating fast. The box contained a letter from her mom, written when while she was waiting days before giving birth. It also contained a ring, given by her father to her mom, a picture of her mom, and a few letters of her grandmother to her dad.

Dei first opened the letter from her mom, crying even before she started. The thought that this sheet of paper, which existed beyond her years, was something her mother actually touched, containing a loving message written for her.

Dei collapsed against Richard, sobbing. The letter was full of hope and optimism, her mother sounded so happy. She could imagine the excitement, the impatience for her to give birth, and the loneliness of being cooped up in a lonely house, hidden away from people. She wondered how many months her mom was kept away from the public eye, and if she was hidden in Cebu or taken to a different province. She wondered how her mother felt, away from her father, unable to communicate and share joys of being a mother for the first time.

"She seemed so happy to have me, Jay."

"Of course she would, sweetie. She loved you and you dad. She was a brave soul to have you."

"She was so young. She died because of me."

"Don't say that. It wasn't your fault, sweetie. Maybe her mission was to bring you into this world safely, and God wanted her to join him already because her mission was done."

"She looked like a fun person, a bright ray of sunshine. No wonder daddy was smitten, I refuse to believe she would purposely destroy a family."

"I'm sure she didn't, Dei. She wouldn't have given birth to someone like you if you were borne out of malice."

They checked the rest of the contents of the box and saw the necklace her mother left for her. It was a beautiful white gold chain, with the St. Benedict pendant. Her hands shook as she took the necklace and gave it to Richard.

"Jay, help me wear it please."

The cold pendant brushed against the base of her throat as the delicate chain was fastened around her neck. She gazed lovingly at her mom's picture, wanting to know more about her. Her mom looked exactly like her, except Dei's skin was a warm caramel while her mother was fairer and not as fine-boned as she was.

"Jay........you asked if I want to go to Cebu. Can we? I want to know more about her."

"Of course, we can. I'm getting a report from the investigator a week from now. Let's see what he can share with us and we will go from there."