Cold Feet (COMPLETED)

Lobelia

Hello again beshies, second update for the day!  There's something that will appeal to some of you in this update, and I hope you guys see it :) 

The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence. Even the luckiest of a bunch seem to have a reason or another to envy someone else, or to find something lacking in their lives.  Even Dei, who seems to have everything, found something lacking in her life and it would be interesting to see if you agree or understand why she years for this one thing that she  does not  have in her life.

Hope you like this chapter my dears. Enjoy your weekend and for those asking if I'm ok after yesterday, thanks for the concern, yes, I'm ok :)

The following Monday Richard entered the conference room to see Calvin in the conference room, ready for their huddle. He had shadows under his eyes, he lost weight and was quiet, browsing through his laptop. It was still an hour before the meeting would start, Richard pulled a chair beside Calvin and tapped him on the shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," Calvin said softly, unable to look at Richard.

"Bro, how long has this been going on?"

"For about a month. The night you told us about your marriage, I was so drunk and I didn't know what I was doing. I drove to her place, she let me in. I didn't know it would escalate into this so quickly."

"We're ok Calvin, don't ever think this will affect our friendship. I worry about you though. If she's pregnant and you're getting married, please get your act together. Be the man she needs, who knows, things will---"

"Things will what? Work out for me?" Calvin shook his head. "Shayne still loves you. I bet she's using me to get back at you, even this baby she's carrying is part of a plan."

"Then take it as a challenge Cal. It's not too late, you can still make it work, just show her you can be the man she will rely on to take care of her and the baby. Don't get drawn into her addiction, she's pregnant bro, you let her get intoxicated and it's her first trimester. Do you realize the harm it will do for your baby? Calvin......you're lucky to have a baby together. Take care of it. If you really want to marry her, whatever her reasons for doing so, make her see the beauty of it. It's a big gamble, you might get hurt, but if you love her, show it."

The meeting progressed as normal, with Calvin merely quiet than usual. As they ended the meeting and one by one, the managers left the room, Calvin asked Dei to stay and talk. Wordlessly, Richard nodded to her and left the conference room.

"Dei......I just want to apologize for what happened last Saturday."

"Forget about it Calvin, I understand."

"I'm so sorry if Shayne acts the way she does. I'm sorry if I can't stop her, I guess I'll never measure up to RJ."

"Don't say that, Cal. If you really love her, just be patient and show her that you will be there for keeps. It took a while to convince myself that what we had was something for real. I was so scared to fall again, I was messed up then but Jay withstood all my baggage and showed me that we stood a chance. Maybe Shayne feels like I did then. That she doesn't deserve to be happy. I used to envy her because of what she shared with Jay."

"But why would you envy her if it's you that Jay fell for?"

"I know, I was stupid back then." She laughed self-consciously. "I can laugh at it now but back then, I seriously messed up and hurt Jay. I'm thankful he forgave me."

"You both are good for each other, Dei. I actually envy you."

"No, Cal. I envy YOU. You're having a baby, and that is such a blessing. We lost our baby back then, and I wish we'd conceive soon. But you, there's beautiful miracle happening to you both soon. Take care of the baby, Cal. Take care of her."

The door to the conference room suddenly opened, and Shayne walked in, sat on Calvin's lap and kissed him on the mouth. Dei cringed for Calvin, hoping he could get this sorted out soon.

"Why are you alone in this room with Cal? Does Richard know? What's your agenda Dei?"

"I have no agenda Shayne." She looked at Calvin and nodded. "I'll leave you two to discuss. Thanks Cal."

She walked out and left them, shutting the door softly. Shayne rose from Calvin's lap and helped herself to the food that was served for the meeting.

"Did you need something, Shayne? Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to see how our.....good news affected the two."

"What were you expecting? Of course they're happy for us."

"Of course??? Why would it make them happy so see me pregnant? To get me off his back?"

"Shayne........I think we need to talk about the baby. I was wrong to let you drink and smoke. You have to take better care of yourself now."

"Pfffftttt. You're no fun Calvin. This was supposed to be a fun ride. I can have this baby removed and---"

He suddenly clamped a hand on her arm tightly, his eyes blazing. Never before had he felt so angry with Shayne as he was now. He loved her but he knew her flaws, and he would no longer allow her to hurt anyone beyond the way she was hurting both of them.

"Shayne.......I've been patient with you, I've let you have your way. But if you......." He paused to control himself, feeling her flinch at the pain of his grasp. He loosened his hold a little, his eyes losing none of the furious glint in it. "If you ever do anything to hurt our baby, I swear...."

She pulled her arm away, slyly smiling at him. "How sure are you exactly that this baby is yours Cal?"

He looked at her with something akin to hatred, and right before her eyes, she saw the anger die down in his gaze. A look of hopelessness came over him. For some reason, it bothered her to see him this way.

"Relax," She said, cupping his face with a laugh. "The baby is yours, I've been celibate after Richard and I split up."

He looked at her with such loneliness, and it got to her. She rushed out of the conference room before he could answer, running out of the office and into the Ladies Room. She splashed water on her face, feeling her heart beat erratically. There was something going on inside her. Something she didn't understand. It was a feeling she haven't felt for so long, and it scared her.

-----

Dei was quiet as they made their way back to the office from a late lunch. Richard held her hand and squeezed, offering comfort to what seemed to be troubling her.

"You want to talk about it?"

She remained quiet till they reached her office. He gazed out at the window listlessly, ost in thought. Richard closed the door to her office and hugged her, letting her rest her head against his chest. He swayed a little, rocking her to relax her heart beating fast. She finally spoke.

"Babe, I know it's not good to get envious but I'm sorry, I am. Why am I not pregnant till now? Why was a baby given to two people who might not be willing to stay together? Why can't you and I, who genuinely love each other, will surely be responsible parents, have a baby right now? I want to give you a baby now, while we're young, so that they can grow up and be like friends with us."

"Aww, Dei......."

He wiped away a lone teardrop on her cheek with his thumb. He felt his heart twist in pain, seeing her like this, most likely remembering the baby they lost. The baby would have been four years old by now, maybe on his first year in preschool. He imagined it to be a boy.

"Please don't pressure yourself, Dei. I don't want you to stress over this, we can wait. Let's not have another Lupus flare, that will make you unwell."

"I'd willingly suffer another attack if in exchange for it I'd get pregnant. You think we should see a fertility expert?"

"No, Dei. The baby will com soon. You'll see. "