Writing On The Wall - Text Fic (Camren)

September 21 (Part 1)

"You okay?"

"Sure am," Lauren lied as she stood up from the bed quickly and just about ran from the room. Leaving Camila to stand and stare at the spot where Lauren had just been.

Lauren was sitting on one of the chairs on the balcony, knees pulled up to her chest and a joint stuck between two fingers when Camila opened the door. "I'm heading out, I'll be home later. You got plans today?"

"Not anymore," Lauren mumbled under her breath.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you, what did you say?" Camila asked and Lauren just sighed and stood up from her chair, pushing by Camila. "Are you mad at me?" Camila called after Lauren who had disappeared down the hallway, only to return a few minutes later, dressed in black jeans and her old Bob Marley shirt, her hair still a mess and her face free of makeup.

Slipping her sunglasses on, Lauren grabbed for her keys out of the bowl that sat in the middle of their kitchen table and shook her head as she looked over at Camila. "Mad at you? No. Mad at myself? Yeah. I spent all week planning today and I didn't even think about the fact that maybe you were gonna have plans already. Which really, if I think about, makes sense. You told me I wasn't getting another Sunday out of you, so I guess I was just being completely oblivious again in thinking maybe you didn't mean it. But that's just like me isn't it? Not to listen when you speak, just another reason why I don't deserve you, because I never fucking listen when you speak. So no, I'm not mad at you, Camz. I'm just really fucking angry at myself. I'm gonna go for a drive or something," Lauren said before Camila could respond. "There's a bunch of fruit cut up in the fridge and sandwiches and stuff, you should bring them with you, you know, so they don't go to waste."

"Laur-"

"Have fun with the float, Camz. I love you. And uh, tell Chelsea I said hey."

Camila froze and watched as Lauren shut the front door behind her and when she finally realized what was happening, Camila ran through the living room and threw open the door. Standing on the balcony, Camila waited for Lauren to appear in the parking, fumbling with her keys as she wiped her eyes under her sunglasses.

"Laur?" Camila called out. "Wait there for a second, please?"

Looking up at Camila on the balcony, Lauren nodded her head and watched as Camila disappeared back inside, only to see her bounding through the doors of the apartment building just minutes later.

"I didn't know we were still going to do our Sundays," Camila admitted sheepishly as she placed a comforting hand on Lauren's cheek. "You didn't say anything yesterday and I waited for you to say something and when you didn't I made plans."

"Of course you did," Lauren scoffed. "Because I'm a fucking idiot and messed up again."

"Please don't," Camila said shaking her head. "You can't keep beating yourself up ov-"

"Why not?" Lauren asked as she stepped back from Camila. "Everything is my fault, I'm such an idiot, I treated you like shit and I keep doing it even though I don't mean to and I had a whole day planned, like a whole fucking day and I was too stupid to mention it so of course you made other plans. You shouldn't have to wait around for me."

"What did you have planned?"

"It doesn't matter," Lauren shrugged as she turned to pull open her car door. "You should probably finish getting ready, you don't want to be late meeting Chelsea."

"I don't want you to be mad at me," Camila whispered and Lauren swallowed thickly and shook her head, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Camila's pouty lips.

"I'm not, I'm not mad at you at all, I'm mad at myself," Lauren whispered when she pulled back. "I'm mad at myself because I don't deserve you and everyday that becomes more and more clear and I don't know what else to do, I fixed the spare room and I was gonna surprise you and I planned a picnic and I bought stupid fucking kites for us to fly and I did it all without asking you if you wanted it. I did it without consulting you first, just like I brought all those stupid fucking toys into our sex life without asking you if that's what you wanted, ultimately fucking everything up. You deserve someone considerate and I just keep proving to you that I'm anything but."

"Lauren, I-"

"I really need to get our of here," Lauren breathed out with ragged gasps for air. "I can't breathe and I just- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay?"

Lauren didn't give Camila time to respond before she climbed into her car and shut the door, slamming her fists down on the steering wheel as Camila watched with wide eyes, stepping back when Lauren started her car. She was about to reach for the handle, about to pull open the door and pull Lauren out of the car, but before she could move Lauren's car was backing out of its parking spot and pulling away.

---

Camila: I'm sorry

Camila: Please text me when you can.. Chelsea and I are gonna be at school working on the float with a few of the girls.. I'll try to duck out early.. Please text me

Camila: If I knew you planned a whole day, I would have never agreed to work on the float today...

Lauren: Don't worry about it, Camz

Lauren: Have fun working on your float. I can't wait to see it at Homecoming..