ONIKAFAREE: This Lifetime *FINISHED*

chapter 23: Right by my side or nah?

(A WEEK LATER, NICKI'S POV)

Now that my mom passed, there is no one to lend us money. Safaree has a bum job at McDonalds, and I stay home with Jordyn. I found this Nursery that takes kids aged 1 to 4, and I think I might enroll Jordyn while I find a job. Right now I'm sitting at the dinning room table looking at the news paper. "*reading the paper* Carpenter...no, nanny...no, Painter....no, .... substitute teacher..no degree needed.. that's kinda perfect. Safaree!!!! will you come here a minute!!"I said.

He came down quickly. "yea babe?" he said. "what do you think about me being a substitute teacher?" I asked. "ehh, I remember as a kid we used to TORCHER the sub." he said. ha, I remember those days. When I thought about that, I remembered that after I had Jordyn, those days were cut short. It's all my fault. My mom was right. God I miss her. Aaanyway, I need to go to the store, so I made a list and asked Safaree to come with me.When we got in the car, Jordyn asked "Can you put Nikki Minaajj on??". she so cute. I turned the radio up as my favorite song of hers came on.

"This time won't you save me? This time won't you save me? baby I can feel myself givin up givin up."I sung. "Wow, your a really great singer." Safaree said. I laughed and said "Really? thanks.". We finally got to walmart so I grabbed a cart and walked in..

(THAT NIGHT, STILL NICKI'S POV)

"Good night baby." I said to jordyn as I tucked her in. I left the room and closed the door. Safaree left a while ago and I'm surprised he's not home yet. I tried calling him but he didn't pick up. I walked downstairs and turned the t.v on. I flipped though the channels and stopped on Disney channel. Jordyn watches it all the time and it's sad to admit I've gotten kind of into the shows.

3 hours had passed, and still no Safaree. It's 2 in the morning and I'm getting worried. But I know safaree. He'll be here soon. But I'm super tired so I decided to go to sleep.

(THAT MORNING, NICKI'S POV)

I woke up to crying. I ran into Jordyn's room and got her out of bed. when I walked down stairs, I saw Safaree knocked out on the couch with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. "safaree!" I yelled. he jumped up and looked drunk. "Can you please explain to me why you didn't come home until this morning? And why your drunk?" I yelled. he just looked confused and started gaging and moaning.

I tried to prop him up and make him stand. once I got him up, I dragged him towards the door. "get out! and come back when you have some since!" I yelled and pushed him out the door and closed it behind me. he's not even old enough to drink..... "where daddy going??" Jordyn asked.

I sighed and said "I-I don't know baby." and fixed her hair. 'when he comin back?" she asked. I didn't answer and went upstairs. Jordyn followed. "Go away! Stop following me everywhere! Personal space please!" I yelled and ran upstairs. I heard her faint cries as I closed and locked my door.

Jordyn's turning two in two months, and my 19th birthday is in two days. Lord knows where Safaree is, unless he's still outside. This is too much to take in at once....pauz. I called up my guy-friend, Jabari. (yes the guy from the interview back in 2008) I've known him since 3rd grade.

 Ten minutes later, he knocked at m door.  I noticed Safaree was gone. "Nicki! wow I haven't seen you since 2008!" he said. "I know! Come inside and meet my daughter!" I said and hugged him. we walked inside and Jordyn came out of the kitchen.

"Jordyn say Hi to my friend Jabari." I told her. "HII!' she screamed and hide behind my leg. "hi, eerrm...Jordyn!" he said. "so nicki, why'd you call me up here? And where's safaree?" he asked. I started tearing up. "Oh, um sorry did I say something?" he asked.

I giggled and said. "No, sorry, um, Jordyn, go play." and guided him up stairs and into my room. We sat on the bed. "I-I think me and Safaree are getting divorced." I said and wiped my tears. "What?? I thought you guys were meant to be??" he said. "I did too. But I guess not. We always fight. He's hit me on many occasions. He never listens. We're always on and off. He didn't even come home last night! I found him passed out drunk this morning!" I said.

"Nicki! You never told me he's hit you! Where's that nigga at?" He yelled standing up. I pulled on his arm. "Stop it's okay. I'm fine." I said. "no, Onika, It's not. You deserve better." he said which made me smile. Suddenly I hear a loud knock at the door. I went downstairs and opened the door. Safaree rushed through the door and ran upstairs.

"Faree wait!" I yelled and ran after him. "Who the fuck is this and why he in my house!?" he screamed. "Daddy!" Jordyn yelled and ran into the room. "Hey baby girl." he said and picked her up. "Faree this is Jabari, Remember, from 3rd grade?" I said. "Oh, well, I think it's best if you leave. Now." He told him. Jabari Picked up his coat and rushed out. "Jordyn go downstairs." He instructed her. I closed the door behind her.

He just stood there and looked at me. after what seemed like forever, he finally spoke. "I have a very good explanation for this morning." He said. "honestly, I bet you do, But I really don't wanna hear your lame ass excuses right now." I shot back. "fine, but what were you and Jabari talking about?" He asked. "um.........we were talking about um.....divorce." I whispered.

"He's married?" he said. I shook my head no. I looked up and he had a confused look on his face. He tried to hold my hand. I quickly pulled it away. "Nicki please don't do this to me." he said. "What about all those things you did to me?" I asked. He sat on the bed and just looked at his lap. I saw a tear drop down onto his jeans. Then another. He whipped it away and looked up. "Do you think we've gotten into this too quickly? I mean im turning 19 in two days, and you're turning 20 seven days after my birthday. We're too young. I can't do this anymore." I said.

"Well there's no turning back now. What are we gonna do? Put Jordyn up for adoption, Get a divorce, sell the house, and act like we've never met? No, we can't give up now. Hey! I saw a ad in the news paper for family counseling. Wanna try it?" he said. I thought for a moment. "everyone says they make it worse. But I guess we could give it a shot."  I said. "why do you always dot his to me?" I asked. "do what?" he said. "over-protect me. Like with Jabari." I said.

 he stood up and put his hands on my waist. "because I loveeeee you." he said and kissed me. I smiled. "oh and tomarrow I need to go to the mall and look for a job." I said. he nodded and went downstairs. See what I mean? I feel like evrytime I talk to him it just goes in one ear and out the other. I know he really loves me, and I love him too, but sometimes it's just....Ugggh hard to explain.

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Ok I know this is a piece of shit chapter but I wanted to upload something because I don't know when i'll be able to post again so..............LEAVE ME IDEAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!