The Life of a Band Nerd

A Blonde Walks Into a Band Hall...

   So, DO NOT rely on a blonde brass player to assemble a clarinet. Fluffeh and I went to the band hall at lunch and Spunkyhorse14 asked me if I could take her clarinet with her and assemble it. I reluctantly agreed.
    Well, when we got there, Fluffeh went to the instrument room and was talking to Cam (surprisingly, he didn't ask me for gum) while I started assembling Spunky's clarinet. I was putting together the two main joints with those two dangerous keys that can cause hundreds of dollars in repair fees if you damage them. I put those two joints together first just to get it over with.
    So, after putting those two joints together, I take the bell from the case and put it on the cork at the end of the clarinet. Well, when I did, it went on loosely and pretty much fell back into my hand. In a panic, I turn to Fluffeh and was like,"Is she missing a grippy rubber ring inside the bell or something!?" She shrugs. I walk into the instrument room where Cam was messing with a clarinet.
    "Cam!" I exclaimed. "Something's up with the bell of this clarinet! It won't stay on the cork!" I put the bell on the cork to show him that it obviously did not fit. He agreed and suggested that I should have the band director look at it.
   I strode up to our director's desk and got his attention. "Mr H, something is wrong with this clarinet! The bell won't attach to the cork!"
   "Well," he said,"you can't really assemble it incorrectly. Let me see it."
   I looked down at the clarinet and saw the thumb key. "No! Nevermind! I see the problem! Thank you!" I hastily walk back to the instrument room where Fluffeh and Cam were waiting.
    "I am a blonde idiot!" I said. "I had the clarinet upside down!"
   Fluffeh started laughing and I'm pretty sure Cam was mentally facepalming.

So, life lesson: never let a blonde brass player put together a woodwind instrument.