Lonely Hearts Club // Book One

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Thanks."

"Mhm, that wasn't a compliment," I smiled while quickening my pace to match Luke's.

"Oh, I know."

A minute later, we were standing in the middle of the Literature section, skimming our way through the selection of books and admiring some in the process. I always forgot how big this place was. The aisle had transitioned into Theatre, and Luke was quoting lines from a "No Fear, Shakespeare" in his best English accent but sadly, it failed and he ended up sounding like a total idiot. Mostly because he is one.

"They still have Les Mis around?" he asked, holding up a large book- twice the size of my head- that looked more like it shared information about the movie and the plot with pictures. "Oops." I looked down and saw that Luke had torn off an envelope that was taped in the book itself, and immediately I shut it and hit his arm. "Ow!" The tall boy whined.

After I put the book back, making sure nobody saw what had happened, I pushed Luke down the aisle of books but he resisted which made his butt stick out. Soon enough, we were in the middle of the Children's section and Luke and I were sitting on the floor while he was reading Green Eggs and Ham to me.

"I fucking hate this Sam I Am, guy," said Luke as he slid the book back onto the shelf. "So annoying."

"You are, too, Luke, admit it."

"I'm anything but annoying!" he defended himself and sat closer to me. "You're the annoying one, with your perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect face."

"I'm not perfect," I shook my head.

"You're not, but I'm my eyes you are."

--

After reading countless amounts of books from that section, we decided, "oh hey we're hungry" and headed down to the café where that one girl was still sitting. Luckily, on the way down, Luke's hand had found mine so it made it obvious that he was somewhat taken.

And yes, that somewhat is beginning to piss me off.

"A bagel with cream cheese and a caramel frappuccino," said Luke to the barista.

She looked at me, for my order, in which I just said "same". There weren't any Starbucks sizes here, and if you didn't decide on a size, they would give you a medium anyway.

"So," he stated as we sat down. "I need to tell you the truth." His anxiety already spiked, his hands were shaking and he was looking for something to stall with. But he couldn't find anything.

"Just, take your time," I pleaded and he nodded.

"You probably figured this out but John is making me work on the house, and if I do something wrong, h-he-"

"Luke!" yelled the barista and shortly after she yelled, "Paige!" too. Luke got up immediately and retrieved our food so he could continue talking to me.

"-he threatens me," continued Luke. "When I didn't show up for a month, Paige, and I came back to you, practically crying, because he held up a gun, and threatened to shoot me. He wouldn't let me leave for a whole month because I left on your birthday. And when he pulled that stunt, I sprinted. I ran all the way to your house.

"Like I said, I need to tell you the truth... the whole truth. Maybe even a little bit more of my back story," he drew in a quick breath while I listened. But I wanted to know why Luke's life was like this, when he didn't deserve any of it. "Wow, I don't know where to start. I guess I'll start from the very beginning," he joked. "No, I'll start from where you don't know anything."

"Oh," I whispered in a low tone, quiet enough for him to hear nothing.

"I knew earlier, I would need to tell you at some point, but I'm not exactly a good kid, Paige," Luke lightly laughed and picked at the bracelets lined on his wrists. "In my second foster home, the sons, they took me to people's houses, when they weren't home, and robbed them. Eventually," he swallowed. "I began doing it all on my own. I pick-pocketed, I stole, and then when I left them, I got a girlfriend."

Luke stayed silent for a few moments, and wouldn't look at anything but his feet.

"I had her for a few months, until one night, she found out I stole from her house and she got mad. I g-got mad, t-too and-d, Paige." I looked up and Luke was blinking to stop himself from crying. "I slapped her. My God, Paige, you have no idea how much I hated myself after that. I never got to apologise, I never got to say how much of a fuck up I was. And at home, I was treated like shit, too. After I did that to her, I stopped stealing, I stopped being a criminal and I stopped liking who I was.

"She was a reality check, for me, to realise that nobody will like me if I'm an ass. Hell, I knew I was horrible and that's why I hate myself because I'm so scared that the bad guy might come back. I don't know how much I can show you that I've changed, I don't even know if I have changed."

While it all sunk in, Luke rubbed his eyes over and over, to stop himself from getting too worked up and emotional. I didn't know what to say. I felt like I learned all this too fast, but really, it was the perfect time. He wasn't his past self anymore, but he was still Luke. And even though I'd practically known him for over half a year, I felt like I've known him for years.

Neither of us had touched our food, or drink. Luke was still playing with those damn bracelets, yet more aggressively since I wasn't answering him. I didn't know what to say.

"I can't promise anything," he whispered.

"You don't need to. I understand why you don't want to date now, though." I wasn't scared for myself, I felt if I did that it would be somewhat offensive. I was scared for Luke, because there hasn't been one person in his life that's treated him right except Calum and I, and if Luke does something wrong, it always seems to stab him in the back. "But you can't let this stop you from living."

He nodded and hung his head down low, afraid that if we locked eye sight, the world would collapse.

"I never feel ready," he mumbled, holding his hands still. "I'm not ready to face my past and I had to put myself together just to tell you all of this. I'm so scared. I can't lose you." Luke was trembling, so bad that I had to take him away, while half the people in the café were staring at us like we were mental.

"Luke," I scolded once we were out of the way and hidden in the store. "If you're thinking you're gonna lose me over something that happened in your past, then that's crazy."

"I am crazy," he interjected, sniffing. "Who fucking slaps their girlfriend?" I knew he was purposely beating himself up for this, he got used to doing that all his life. "I'm a fucking idiot."

"Look at me," I said to him after his fit of furiously running his hands through his hair and pacing. He did as I instructed, however. "How long ago was this?"

"2 years ago from April 12th," he answered specifically. That was when I realised, he would truly never forget about that. He knew he messed up so bad, he remembered everything. "I hate this," he groaned. "I thought telling you everything would make this better, to let you know that I think I finally trust you but right now I just feel like I'm being eaten from the inside out because you may not talk to me or I'll screw everything up again. I'm going to screw everything up because I always have my whole life and-"

"Luke," I interrupted him, sighing. "We all screw things up, you've just been surrounded by people who like to remind you that. And yeah, hitting her was a mistake-" he winced. "-except we all do stuff we regret, but surely, I'm not going to regret liking you or liking hanging out with you. I'm glad you think you can trust me, and I promise you," I smiled. "You're not going to lose me over this."