Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part I

Chapter 43.1: 1995, Georgina

Chapter 43.1: 1995, Georgina

 

Sitting in the living room, I was watching Cha Cha knit. She'd been coming here lately just to sit with me, no pressure to talk, just enjoying the pleasure of each other's company. Her hands were expert, connecting the light blue yarn with little silver speckles in it with loving care. She'd been doing this for the better part of an hour, such devoted concentration. I'd watched the scarf grow, and now it was nearly to the floor in a fashionable, professional weave. It was evident she'd been knitting for a long time, a dearly beloved hobby. I wondered when she'd picked it up.

I decided to break the silence, hoping not to disturb her. "Who is the scarf for?" I smiled gently, trying to show her I sincerely cared.

"Oh!" she grinned, pausing her knitting needles. "Its actually..." she looked as if she could start laughing.

"Hm?"

"Its actually for you. See how its light blue? And you were always wearing such glittery jewelry. I wanted to give you a Christmas present, so when I saw this yarn in the store I knew this would be perfect."

My mouth dropped open. I didn't know what to say.

"Now that you know, I can ask what you want! Do you want some fringe on the ends or is that too scratchy? I can put silver snowflakes on it, too. Put some in at the end. That would look pretty. So Wintery."

Oh, but...

"Oh," I said, looking at the floor. Wait, but... "Anything you want to do I would like. What you said sounds lovely." 

Shame. 

"Are you sure? Do you have any ideas? I can do anything."

Such a shame.

"Well..."

She tilted her head like always, still smiling at me. Her knitting needles were paused, waiting for me. It was just as well.

"But...I don't know how much Ruiz told you but..." Uncomfortableness spread about me. Rolling pinching in my tummy, rushing blood to my ears instantly. I pressed my knees together, clasped my hands, my feet lined up ankle to ankle. This shameful feeling, making me too vulnerable. 

"What is it?" her voice sounded so gentle. 

I breathed out. My shoulders became stiff. "That scarf...its just not...but..."

"Not what?" so caring, patient.

Embarrassment flooded me, making me want to hide. "That scarf isn't...going to be used. I really appreciate it, really I do. I love that its from you...its just never going to be used. I don't...go..."

"Its okay."

"Cha Cha?"

I peered at her, my body starting to tremble in my nerves. She was looking at me so softly. "I know you don't like to go out. But I wanted you to have this anyway."

"I'm sorry." I wanted to disappear.

"Don't be," she chuckled, lifting her knitting needles again. "It doesn't have to be used to be loved."

Loved.

"Of course I will love it," I said quietly, staring down at my lap, trying to control my shakes.

"I know." Her needles started to click rapidly again. My eyes dared see. She was quick at work again, line by line. Dearly making this scarf which would never be used. She was right, though. It would be loved. She had no idea how much.