All The Queen's Horses {Myrnin, Morganville Vampires}

Panty Circus

"And you!" My finger change direction to Gwion.

"Behave!" I ordered.

Not my most literary sentences, but given the already progressive glint in their eyes, I felt it best to keep my instructions short and to the point.

Both nodded solemnly, as if they had no idea what I was talking about. I shook my head and spun back around, and we continued through the front entrance. A wave of heat blew from overhead warmers, as we passed through the 2nd set of entry doors.

As expected, our entrance and unusual appearance made quite an impression. A wiry old man sat in a conveniently placed folding chair to greet us. I couldn't quite tell from his seated position, but I expected he was about my height or just a little bit taller. He wore the customary blue vest with a bright yellow smiley face button. A mop of short curly gray hair covered his head. His eyebrows rose as he addressed me, "Lil' gurl, you ain't spose'd to come in here in no shoes. But see'n as you ain't even got pants, I reckon shoes are the least of your problems."

His glance wandered over to Myrnin's bare chest and remarked, "Shirts' required too, but I sure as hell ain't gonna ask you to put yours back on. I daresay she'd be completely nekkid if I did," he guessed correctly. He looked at Myrnin and Gwion sternly and scolded them, "It's colder than a witch's tit outside. Whatchu boys thinkin'? Not covering up the lil' lass any better'n'at?"

I had to smile at his papa-bear-like protection of me and his complete lack of intimidation of both Gwion and Myrnin. Myrnin cringed. I knew he agreed with the man and was equally unhappy with my current state of undress. "It is our intention to rectify that very problem now," Myrnin responded contritely.

The old man nodded thoughtfully at me and commented, "She's lookin' mighty thin too. Ain't the best food in the world, but we got a 24 hour Subway o're there." He nodded over his shoulder in the direction of the restaurant. "They make 'em sandwiches any'ay you want. Start with the bread and they slide 'em down the line, while you tell 'em what to throw on them sumbitches."

I giggled. We were fairly far north on the map, but he was most decidedly from the South. He grinned back at me and added in a conspiratorial whisper, "Stay away from that there meatball one. It'll make you clench up, if'u know what I mean."

I laughed out loud at his description.

Gwion smirked. I think he liked the old man's don't-give-a-shit attitude. Even Myrnin seemed more relaxed by the man's good humor.

"I just ate, but thank you for the recommendation," I smiled warmly at him.

"Good. Best get on with it then," he dismissed us with a nod.

As we made our way into the women's undergarment section for the first item on my list, it quickly became glaringly apparent that even 800-year-old vampire men never really grow out of their 12-year-old pubescent boy mentality. Both gravitated toward sexy revealing baby-doll styled lingerie with G strings and garters.

"Tsk...Tsk...The selection isn't much," Gwion commented with a frown.

"This isn't exactly Victoria's Secret," I reminded him. I had no clue if he even knew what a Victoria's Secret was, but was certain he would cause quite a bit of mayhem if ever set free inside of one of their stores.

Myrnin pulled out a barely-there two-piece in crimson red, and held it out to me, "What about this one?"

I stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't be serious. But yet, somehow I knew he was. I raised an eyebrow and answered dryly, "Only if the panties are crotchless."

I stifled a giggle as his eyes widened at my unexpected response, and he fished around in the underwear to see if it met my criteria. His brow furrowed just slightly when he realized it did not and returned it to the rack to continue looking.