All The Queen's Horses {Myrnin, Morganville Vampires}

Girl Talk Confessions

I was caught off guard. I guess I shouldn't have been. Michael must have told her how strange Myrnin and I had been acting. I wasn't sure if I was ready to say anything and tried to play it off casually, "Oh, it's nothing. Let's talk about you."

Her eyes narrowed, "No...not, nothing. I just told you I was pregnant. I think you can share what is going on between you and Myrnin."

I sighed. She was right. "We kissed," I whispered.

"What?!" Eve hissed. "When you say 'kissed', exactly what are we talking about: like a sweet-hello-my-name-is kiss or a let-me-check-your-tonsils kiss?"

I remembered Myrnin's lips burning against mine and the pressure of his arousal between my legs, and blushed deeply.

Eve gasped and demanded, "Where? When?! "

"On top of the bar downstairs. Michael sort of interrupted us," I said sheepishly.

Eve's eyes were huge, "Wait! Stop. Did you just say on top of the bar?"

I blushed even deeper.

"Clairebear, how far were you planning on taking it?" she asked carefully.

I didn't see any reason to lie to her. I admitted softly, "If Michael hadn't arrived, we would have taken it all of the way." There was no doubt in my mind. "Eve, I had no idea I felt like that. Or maybe I knew it on some subconscious level; I don't know. But when he told me he wanted me, it felt like I came alive. Like I'd been dead and was now breathing again for the first time." I looked down and muttered, "I know, even to me that sounds stupid."

"Claire, what about Shane?" she asked softly.

I cringed and murmured, "He asked me to run away with him."

"What?" she shrieked.

"He thinks we could get away without Myrnin and Michael being able to track us, and just start somewhere new."

"You can't possibly be thinking about doing that??" she asked incredulously.

I shook my head and confirmed, "No, I never would have done that. But I don't think I have to worry about it anymore. Once he finds out I kissed Myrnin, I'm certain that offer is off the table."

"Are you in love with Myrnin?" Eve probed.

"I don't know. Is it possible this is just lust? Have I ruined everything with Shane because of my hormones?" I anguished.

Eve thought about it for a moment, and then replied slowly, "Jumping-down-some-guys'-throat has never been your go-to response before. You and Myrnin were already closer than I think you realized. I wondered about it when you told me he was drinking your blood. I didn't want to say anything at the time, but you're different now when you talk about him - you've been different for a while," she said softly.

"How am I supposed to tell Shane? It feels wrong to do it now, while we are in such a weird situation. Especially when there is really no place for him to get away from Myrnin until we get back."

Eve nodded in agreement and then asked, "When you think about being without Shane, how do you feel?"

I cringed again, because I already knew this answer. "Okay. I feel okay," I whispered, "What does that say about me?"

"It says you are in love with Myrnin," Eve said frankly.

I remembered Myrnin's words 'I don't share'. It was clear he wanted more than just my body. Was I really considering a relationship with an 800+ year old vampire?!