The Last Philosopher

What, is that the question

While Herschel waited, his multi-thoughts entertained themselves with over-thinking. Constructively criticising the performance of Zig-Zig's guards. For one thing, their lax attitude was the only reason he had more than one escape route. Without their slacking his non-violent prison-break — which he believed was the first one ever — could never have worked. Their disposition was explained by the fact that they weren't guards, they were soldiers. And the Akri warriors seemed to avoid both the prisoners and leaving Zig-Zig as much as lizardly possible.

Akri must be trained for action, not vigilance, his second thoughts reflected. With those claws, they should be stalking something fluffy through the night. Not herding old men from their screaming matches in the discourse yard to their screaming matches in the library.

But their appearance is fascinating. A third thought popped in. Considering they're all vegans, and eat almost nothing but mushrooms.

"Yes, they're not as bloodthirsty as they look." Herschel's face lit up with the joy of contradiction, and for a moment he forgot his disgusting surroundings.

The feeling brought him back to the innocent snooping by his friends. It was a favourite pastime of his gaggle. A few Socks were often hanging out around the gate to the guard quarter. That was where the lizards spent their time, probably trying to ignore their duty in peace. The so-called gate was the only one out of the prison area. It was also the best place to eavesdrop, the only way to learn anything about the Akri. Whenever one of the soldiers approached the gate, his elderly friends would take off, giggling like unruly children.

"What if it's not distaste for the guarding, but working the docks that keep them in their quarter?"

Like Herschel, many of the inmates had arrived by ship, and were brought in blindfolded through the guard quarter. It was the only time any of them were allowed in the area.

"Or it could be the desert, and its frequent sandstorms, that keep the lizard-men inside the prison walls?"

Hold on now, seeing as they're all female, shouldn't it be lizard-women, his objectivity interrupted.

"Sure, but with their nation's military strength, generals everywhere are sure to feel more comfortable calling them lizard-men."

And you think that's a good excuse?

"No, you're right, just because generals can't face reality, doesn't mean we should do the same."

Crouching in muck, his thoughts were invariably drawn back to the less filthy escape options. Zig-Zig's wall, that made liberal use of the word wall, had been his only real obstacle. It looked like a bunch of random rocks thrown into a long pile. But one of his friends had told him it was built with a rare stone type called ingenious rock. The man had been a rock hunter on the outside, so he knew what he was talking about. Not that it'd helped Herschel escape. Going over the wall, wouldn't have been any harder than walking up a short flight of stairs. Still, it would've been a gamble. Only two of the wall's six guard-towers were ever manned. But in their sand-coloured leather armour the Akri were difficult to spot when they stood still. And they all excelled at standing very still indeed.

"It must be an important skill for soldiers?"

The the docks was another idea he'd considered. The hinges to the gate were only just hanging on to the wall's strange rocks. So, getting past it shouldn't have been a problem.

But even if you could get through the gate, then what, his planning wondered.

"I could have snuck on to a ship?"

No, we ruled that out, since the only thing we know about boats is that we know nothing about boats.

"But couldn't we have found a way that didn't involve sewers," he sighed and it almost made him retch.

Not one that had a high probability of success, and limited the risk to others. It has to look like no one else was involved!

The prisoners of Zig-Zig were the kind of old men who enjoyed reading and writing for fun. With lots of free time on their hands, they could've outsmarted the black-eyed lizards. Long spears and thick shields weren't much help in a battle of wits. Especially when the clever inmates ran the prison in most respects. If it wasn't for his 'always doing the right thing', it could've been so easy. The biggest problem then would've been that he had no real wish to escape.

"The fact that none of us wanted to escape is still my greatest advantage. Because the warden will never suspect it. Until now, Zig-Zig would've worked fine without guards or walls."

Regular mealtimes and a well-stocked library meant Zig-Zig had everything its inmates wanted. Especially since they all subscribed to some version of the theory that freedom was nothing but an overrated illusion anyway. So, none of them had a motive to run, but Herschel had found one. He wanted to tell the Socks about his suspicions. That would've given them the motivation too, but it would've also tipped off the warden if more of them went missing.

"I don't know what he's up to exactly, but if the warden succeeds something catastrophic is going to happen!"

Herschel felt sure the Akri were as clueless about the prisons real purpose as he and his friends. Not that he was clear on everything about the warden's plans, but he had a good idea about the what. It'd been a painful realisation, because he was the sort of person who wanted to see the good in everyone. Even so, he had no doubt that the warden was imprisoning philosophers for some Dark purpose.

Updated: 06.03.2024