Come Inside

XX

"That's just," Camille paused for a few seconds then continued, "Sad."

"I know. Raicca deserves more than this. She didn't deserve to die so young. Magsisimula pa lang siyang maging ina kay Victoria. She barely saw her dahil after birth ay labas pasok na siya sa ospital tapos Victoria, being a baby, bawal bumisita sa ospital kasi mahina pa ang immune system ng bata. She got well, though. Pero akala nila magtutuloy-tuloy. But one day, her body fell. Nawalan siya ng gana kumain. She became too thin. Hanggang sa ipasok ulit siya sa ospital. At ilang araw lang, wala na siya," Elaine said as she hugged herself. She remembered how Jacob told her that story after their almost fight. She felt pity for Raicca, of course. She felt like she didn't deserve to be with Jacob for what Raicca had been through.

"Wow! Alam na alam mo, ah? Inalam mo talaga ang history? Effort mo, ah?" Camille replied, smiling a bit, pity for Raicca was obviously written all over her face. Kael was looking down at Raicca's grave too.

"Gusto ko kasing malaman ang nangyari sa kanila ni Jacob. Buo. Ayoko nang maiwan sa dilim, ang hirap kasing mangapa. Ang hirap mag-isip lalo na kapag taliwas sa katotohanan ang lahat ng bagay na pinaniniwalaan mo. That was toxic, really."

"I know what you felt," Kael abruptly said, in which Elaine gave him an understanding smile.

They sat in silence. The kind of silence that was so peaceful, not awkward, the type that you can actually enjoy the surroundings without noise. It was kind of nostalgic. Back in the days, they always go to the middle of the oval during sunsets in the university they went. They all had the same space but out to their respective worlds.

The silence was broken when Kael suddenly spoke, "Parang ang sarap bumalik sa dati, no?"

"Oo nga," segunda ni Camille. "Siguro hindi ko sinagot si Maximus kung 'yon lang din naman pala ginawa niya sa akin. Gago ka kasi, Kael, eh!"

"Ikaw, Elaine, kung sakaling bumalik tayo sa nakaraan, ano gusto mong baguhin?"

Iling lamang ang sagot ni Elaine sa tanong ni Kael at saka ngumiti.

"Why?"

"Marami akong natutunan sa experiences ko, Kael. Natutunan kong bumitaw, natutunan kong bumangon, natutunan kong buuin ang aking sarili pagkatapos mabasag nang paulit-ulit. Kaya, wala. Wala akong nais baguhin sa nakaraan ko. Masaya rin kasi ako para kay Raicca. Masaya ako na naging isa siyang ina bago siya kuhanin ng Panginoon. Masaya rin ako para kay Jacob."

"Gaga ka! So hindi ka masaya para sa amin?"

"Masaya ako para sa inyo, siyempre."

They all laughed together in that very sincere and real moment. Ang tagal na rin kasi simula nang ngumiti't tumawa si Elaine na walang mabigat na dinadala sa dibdib. It was about time to let the past be bygones and just focus on what's ahead. Well, as for Jacob, he did the same too.

"Mama!"

Lahat sila ay napatingin kay Victoria na tumatakbo papalapit sa kanila. Napangiti si Elaine nang makita niya si Jacob na hinahabol si Victoria. Agad na yumakap ang bata sa kanyang binti.

"Elaine, hi. Nandito pala kayo. I didn't expect to see you here," ani Jacob at saka niya binuhat si Victoria. His daughter was five-years old already and gaining height. And Victoria started calling her "mama" in her fifth birthday party. She was shocked all right pero the first time she called her that, she wanted to cry. Elaine felt butterflies in her stomach being wild as her heart beat erratically.

 "Dinalaw namin si Raicca," Elaine shrugged. "Death anniversary niya kasi ngayon, and I think I should pay her a visit. Talk to her kahit hindi niya na ako naririnig. I want to tell her some things."