Come Inside

VIII

THE thing about epiphany is you will realize things when it is already too late. A month had already passed and Elaine's relationship with Kael wasn't steady as planned. There's nothing wrong with Kael, it was her. The problem is her. Hindi niya kasi alam kung ano talaga ang gusto niya. Nag-aaway sila ni Kael ngunit sinusuyo siya ng binata kahit siya naman ang may kasalanan kung bakit. She's getting tired of it - her mother's blabbering mouth, her impulsiveness for making things harder than expected, the marriage drama. But, of course, she's still obliged to marry Kael.

"Camille..." Elaine sighed as she tilt her head up to look at the sky which is now bluish and orange yet pinkish. They were in Bistro 360°, the place where Jacob declined her proposal of eloping. Camille just tapped the table with her fingers, watching her as she continue to breath hastily.

"Ano? You're already regretting your decision? Ayaw mo na ulit pakasalan si Kael? Sinong babae ba naman kasi ang gugustuhing ikasal sa lalaking kahit kailan naman ay hindi niya minahal?" Elaine knew Camille was looking at her stupidly, as if shoving her faults into her face making her groan in both annoyance and frustrations. "Hindi mo naman siguro iniisip na mag-back out ka? Your wedding has been announced publicly and everyone knew about it. Pamilya niyo ang mapapahiya kung gagawin mo 'yon, and your mother will loathe you more, even your relatives. You will be the burden. Baka itaksil ka pa nila. Do you want that to happen?"

Bumuntonghininga na lamang si Elaine at pinakinggan pa ang kaibigan, "Elaine, you had a chance to stop that marriage thing to stop but you blew that chance up. Jacob obviously wanted you for himself. He got mad, right? He got angry when you're with Kael. Alam mo, ang mga lakaki, gaya ng mga babae, gusto rin nilang sinusuyo. Hindi lang naman babae ang may karapatang magpakipot. Now, with what you've done, you're stuck in a situation you never want to be in." As soon as Camille is finished, her eyes widen in horror, she pointed Elaine's back using her own lips. Camille then mouthed, "Royce Jacob."

Her body tensed as her brows furrowed, breathing became ragged. One month no show and then there he is again. He had an effect on her she didn't like ever since. She hated that he made her feel so weak. She didn't really be a superior in their whole relationship 5 years ago. He was. He still was.

"You can breathe properly now," Camille said, following Jacob with her glance. Elaine released a deep sigh of relief. Thank god he didn't see her! "He's with a girl," Camille clawed her fingers in the air then acted she grabbed something, "A really beautiful girl with boobs, and buns."

"I don't care."

Elaine really did care. She knew she didn't need to feel insecure because she knew she's beautiful the way she is, but she was insecure. She had boobs and buns, but not big. Its size was enough for Jacob to cup those. She suppressed a moan. God! She should stop thinking about Jacob and intimacy. She should forget about Jacob and all his shits. She couldn't understand him. Hell, she will never understand him. 5 years were enough time to change, right?

"Oh, tapos ngayon tulala ka na. Ano ba? Kailan ka ba titino, ha? Joke lang! Seriously, Elaine, what will you do now?"

"I'll marry Kael. Period!"

"And why would you marry Kael?"

"Because I said I will."

"That is the most stupid reason I've ever heard! Stop when you don't have a valid reason. Parang gago lang kasi. Back out from the engagement, Elaine. Ako na ang nagsasabi sa 'yo na wala ring mangyayari sa inyong dalawa. And you will regret you married him. Then you will have annulment because you aren't happy with that decision. Sino kawawa? Ikaw! Ikaw ang magmumukhang tanga. Sino ang mahuhusgahan? Ikaw! Kasi ikaw ang babae. 'Wag kang gumawa ng desisyong hindi ka naman sigurado sa magiging kalalabasan. You think it's for the better? No, everything will be worse, trust me. I know all possibilities."