Elizabeth Gallagher - Shameless US

Goodbye

I blew the smoke from my cigarette and watched as it floated in the air. I haven't smoke in a while, but lately, it's been the only thing that helps me cope.

I heard Lip from inside, complaining to Debbie about the heat. Fiona's got us turning the it off at night to save on gas, which, the company is shutting off on Friday, since we didn't pay this month's.

Lip opened the door to the balcony where I was standing.

"Whaddya doin' out here?" He asked.

I quickly put the cigarette out, hoping he didn't see it. "Nothin'" I replied as I walked past him into the house.

"Hey!" He called out to me. I turned around. "Listen, I'm sorry about your friend. Nila, I mean. I walked past your bedroom when you guys were in there last night, and I overheard. That's really horrible, what she's got. Fetamonia, isnt it?" I nodded. "Yeah, well, I'm really sorry."

As he walked down the stairs, I thought that maybe Lip was sorry. He was sorry. For something that was happening to someone he'd only met once or twice. That surprised me, ever since he left for college, I've always though that Lip had become rather self-absorbed, but maybe I was wrong.

As I ate breakfast, Lip and Debbie were discussing bills. We're late for almost everything, gas, electric, rent. I don't think we've ever payed a bill that wasn't late.

"Handing out money?" Carl came down the stairs, "Bonnie's brothers need a few Z-paks and a couple bottles of Rid."

Bonnie's brothers and sisters were starting to get annoying. I almost tripped over one walking down the stairs this morning. It's time for them to go back to their own house.

"Oh yeah, about that, how long are the Lost Boys gonna be camped out in the living room?" I asked.

"Lip said they could stay here," he pointed to Lip.

"Yeah, for one night," Lip replied. "All right? Kick 'me to the curb, this isn't an orphanage."

I smiled at Carl in victory, and he rolled his eyes back.

"When are we gonna go visit Fiona?" Debbie asked. I tensed up at the mention of Fiona. I was still kind of mad at her for breaking probation, so I wasn't sure if I wanted to go see her.

"It's three hours away," Lip replied, making me glad that he didn't want to see her either. Debbie gave him a blank look. "Each way," he added. 

"I'm with Lip," I said, "How the hell are we supposed to get down there? We got no car."

"Bus?" Debbie said.

"We could borrow your girlfriend's car," Carl added.

"No, look, I'm behind on a Physics lab, I've got work-study shifts to make up, and a paper due in Lit," Lip complained.

Debbie and Carl stared at him with blank looks.

"Okay, this weekend," he gave in.

I groaned, "Jesus, guys, it's 90 days in Country Club jail, alright, it's not Guantanamo. She's probably learning a useful trade, or brushing up on her Spanish."

Debbie gave me a weird look, "Don't you wanna see her?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"I just don't. I mean, why should we take the time out of our day to go and visit her while she's rightfully paying for a stupid mistake that she made off her own valition?"  I grabbed my bag and walked out of the house.

"What's up with her?" I heard Debbie ask behind me.

It's not that I don't want to see Fiona, it's just that I don't think I'm ready to see her. We needed her. And I know that everyone makes mistakes and all, but first she almost kills Liam, and then she goes and breaks her probation. Why should I forgive her straight away?