this is from a request I got a few days ago...hopefully I did your prompt justice...
"Hey," Ashley nudges you gently with her shoulder, knocking you back into the present. "You've been kinda distant today. Are you okay?"
You want nothing more than to scream no, that you're not okay, but your pride gets the best of you. "Yeah, I'm fine." Liar.
Ashley's hazel eyes linger on the side of your face for a long moment as if silently urging you to tell her the actual truth. Just when you're about to cave, she looks back at her phone, probably double checking her packing list for her upcoming tour. The current bane of your existence.
Both of you are quiet for a while, your girlfriend checking lists and you wallowing in silence and trying to find a way to voice the insecurities that have clouded your head for the past two days. Touring isn't the real problem, it's the waves of attractive people that will be seeing, meeting, and adoring your girlfriend for the next six months. It's the inevitable distance between you and Ashley where you'll go no less than two weeks at a time without seeing one another. It's the possibility of losing her to somebody else...
A sharp pain in your lip causes you to groan. The nervous habit of biting your lip has been in overdrive for the past two days. A metallic taste fills your mouth and you can hear the pink haired singer sigh next to you. Clearly, she's caught on.
"You're lying to me," she shuts her phone all the way off and turns to sit criss cross on the couch, urging you to move and face her with the tapping of your thigh. "Don't even try to deny it, Y/N," she adds upon seeing the defiant look on your face.
Emotional vulnerability is so not your thing. You stare at your hands for a minute and, almost immediately, your teeth sink into your already sore bottom lip.
Ashley uses her thumb to still your lips. The room is still and quiet for a few heartbeats before you finally work up the nerve to just get it out and into the open.
"Whatifyoumeetsomeoneontourandthey'rebetterforyouthanmeandwebreakup?" You rush out in one sentence. When you look up, Ashley is sitting there with her head cocked to the side, not unlike Jagger when he's confused. You'd laugh if you weren't so anxious.
"I think I understood, but I'm just going to repeat it in case. You're nervous about tour and me meeting someone else?"
Hearing your girlfriend say it out loud makes you feel even dumber than before. It all seems so absurd. "Yeah, pretty much," you respond flatly.
Her hazel eyes soften immediately. She grabs one of your hands in both her of hers. "Baby, that's never going to happen, okay? God, I can't even think about meeting someone else at this point." You feel relieved at hearing her say that. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I felt stupid for even feeling that way. I'm not even jealous, it's just this resignation to the possibility because there are so many other people that are more attractive than I am and hotter and they'll get you better than I can and they'll understand your stupid punk references that I never seem to fucking understand and they'll probably like the same books as you...and, and they'll just be so much better suited for you...and I'll be here. I'll be me..." Ashley wraps you up in her arms and before you know it, she's pulling you down on top of her and settling the two of you horizontally across the plush couch.
"None of that would ever happen."
"It could. You could meet some hot girl at meet and greet and be like, 'Welp, it was nice knowing you, Y/N'." Being funny about it makes it a little less hard to talk about, even though the sheer thought of not being with Ashley causes tears to prick your eyes.
"Wrong." She tells you and plants a kiss on your cheek. "Wrong," she kisses you again, "wrong," again, "wrong," again, "wrong. You're all wrong. I only want you. Forever and ever and ever." She kisses you on the lips this time, taking her time and biting your bottom lip before pulling away. "I love you and only you."
"Yeah, but-"
"Nope. Shut up." You huff. "I have those same insecurities, you know. I worry that you'll meet this super woke bad bitch who can give you a completely normal life and who can be there when you need her at all times and you'll be lured in by the images of true domesticity and chillness. I'm scared you'll ditch me for stability and calm instead of a crazy and extra girl with a fucked up schedule."
"I wouldn't though," you tell her, scrunching your eyebrows at the thought of being with anyone except Ashley. "That's impossible."
"Now take how you feel right now and that's how I feel about you thinking I could ever find someone else," the singer says from beneath you. "It will never happen, ever." Soft lips kiss the underside of your jaw while you process everything.
"Ashley, I'm terrified."
Her soft eyes meet yours and she shrugs. "Don't be." You roll your eyes at her. "I know that sounds simple and stupid, but it's true. If you worry, it'll eat you up inside. Trust me, babygirl."
You relax in her arms at the use of your favorite nickname, burying your head in the crook of her neck. "Okay," you whisper reluctantly, "I trust that we'll be alright."
