I swear, I'm not suicidal

21 : e n d

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE : END

REECE'S POV

I woke up to the sound of a repetitive beeping of my heart monitor, my head pounding with a headache. I took a look around my surroundings, only to find myself in a room with dull white walls, machines had surrounded me. I looked down to see myself lying down on a light blue bed underneath a thin white blanket.

I was in the hospital.

But how did I get there?

Suddenly, the events of the accident came, flooding. Stupid Jason. He snitched on me and told Percy about Aubrey and mine and her whereabouts. If only that stupid dimwit could keep his fucking mouth shut, I wouldn't had been there. Aubrey wouldn't had gotten hurt. We would be fine.

Aubrey. I had to know where she was. I needed to know if she was alright, if she got hit by the bullet. I knew it was dangerous for Aubrey to meet Jason. Hell, even Harisoe, but she got herself involved with Harisoe in the party. This was all my fault. All. My. Fucking. Fault.

I heard the door slide open, revealing Jen- my dad's fiancé- holding up two cups of coffee. She didn't even notice that I was awake. She's so oblivious, it's impossible. I mean, she's never noticed Aubrey skipping her meals. Or Aubrey and I's very heated and loud arguments from her room.

And it all leads back to Aubrey.

I cleared my throat, making her head whip to my direction so fast, I thought she got a whiplash. Shock and relief flooded her face as she ran to me, spilling her coffee in the process. "Oh my gosh, Reece!" She whispered, her voice shaky, as she tightly hugged me, which made me wince. But of course, she didn't notice me wince.

"Hey." I said, my voice hoarse. She pulled away and that was when I took a good look at her. Not that I was checking her out. Her eyes were bloodshot red and her cheeks were stained with black streaks- my guess was her make-up wasn't waterproof. Her clothes were wrinkled and her hair looked liked a bird's nest. Overall, she looked like a complete mess.

She quickly pressed the nurse's button and held my hand. "How are you feeling?" She asked.

I let out a humorless chuckle, "Like I was in an accident."

She weakly smiled at me and opened her mouth to speak when the doctor- I'm assuming- walked in the room. He had black hair with white streaks evident, and of course, wearing the signature doctor's coat. He was holding a few papers with a pen on his other hand. Once he was in, my dad followed in shortly.

My dad wasn't one to cry. At all. So it wasn't surprising to see him walk into my room, tear free. Seriously, he didn't cry when Elizabeth- my younger sister- died. It was all a shock to us when my younger sister died to leukemia last year, she was gone in a snap.

Everyone in my family is a complete mess. My dad was an emotionless walking zombie. My mom was a complete alcoholic ever since Lizzy died. My sister turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with both my parent's divorce and Lizzy's death. My brother is suffering from a bipolar disorder. While I joined a gang, that I absolutely regret. I can't leave it, no matter how much I had tried. Percy won't let me.

When I told him I wanted to leave the gang, he absolutely flipped and tried to kill my sister in a party. Luckily, Liv was too drunk to remember the incident but I was completely sober. The image of Liv crying with a knife across her neck will forever be in my head. I can't lose her. That's why I'm so over-protective over Liv. And Aubrey. Percy is ruthless and has no heart, he would kill anyone who comes across his path. Anyone.

"Hello. I am your doctor, Dr. Philipps. I'm going to ask you a few questions, if that's okay with you." He said, taking a seat beside me.

I nodded and asked with my voice very hoarse, "May I have a glass of water?"

Almost immediately, a cup of water was in front of me, being held by Jen. She sheepishly smiled and gestured for me to drink the water. I took the cup and drank the water until there wasn't a drop left. I cleared my throat and the doctor asked, "Better?"

I nodded in return and gestured him to continue. He bobbed his head and flipped through his paper until he landed on a specific paper. "Name?"

"Reece Miller." I answered.

He nodded and wrote something down. I felt like I was with my psychiatrist all over again. And it would be the longest and most torturing one hour of the day. "Date of Birth?"

"June 23."

"Present date?"

"December 25."

He nodded and continued writing one his piece of paper. Sometimes I wonder what they write down, 'cause every single time I asked, they ignore the question. Are they notes to track down whether or not I'm getting better? Only they know...

"Okay, it seems like you have no case of amnesia, which is good. Now for your current state." He said, looking down. "A lot of pressure had been forced upon your right knee, causing it to fracture but it's nothing serious. Just let it rest, don't put any pressure and we'll be removing the cast in a few weeks. Your upper body seems unaffected by the accident, just a few scratches from the shattered glass. You had a minor concussion from the accident, though. Other than that, you should be able to leave the hospital in around, two days at the most." He explained to me, not missing out any details.

But there was one question that was lingering in my mind ever since I had woken up. "How's Aubrey?"

And that was when Jen broke into uncontrollable sobs while my dad tried to comfort her. Dr. Philipps shook his head and said, "She was DOA. I'm sorry for your loss."

And that was when time froze.

Aubrey was gone.

Her end finally came.

But it was too soon.

She can't be.

She has to be alive.

She just has to.

This was all my fault.

I would never forgive myself.

I ended her life.

I should've died. Not her.

She had so much ahead of her. So much.

And she was gone, just like that.

I would never forget you, Aubrey Maya Summers.