Chapter 10

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I didn't leave my room for a week after Adam had come over and I knew that I was being rude and probably wasn't making things easy for myself but nothing seemed right anymore. I didn't go out to eat anymore they did bring me a tray for meals but I didn't always eat what they brought. I had gone so far in my head and with no one else to talk to I wasn't sure how I could climb out of this hole. I was sitting in my room just staring out the window when I heard my door open and shut. I was trying to figure out who could be coming in because the servants would knock before entering.

"Okay this has been going on long enough. I know you may be mad at me or my family but I won't let you stay in here any longer."

I turned from the window and saw that Philip was here. I would have thought that Elizabeth would be the one in here to pull me out but it seemed our fight was going a little longer.I know what Adam had told me about putting my trust into Philip but these were my troubles and how was I going to bring him into this.

"I can't. You don't understand where I am coming from."

"Then tell me and trust me that I will stand by you because I want you to be able to tell me everything and anything."

"Philip how can I make you choose between your family and me. That is what it feels like right now because your parents are disappointed with me because of what I said about you letting me choose."

I was holding back my tears and had to turn away from Philip to go back to looking out the window. I didn't want the tears to start, I was tired of crying and knew that looking out the window would help a little.

"Well you are wrong there. I won't be choosing between you and my family. I know my dad has been treating you differently but I went and talked with him and now he understands where I am coming from and he told me he would go back to how things were when you first got here. I am sorry it took me so long to say something but I promise you won't go through anything alone."

After trying for so long to hold back the tears they were now falling out of my eyes again. Adam told me to trust Philip but there was still a little holding me back to letting go. I felt my head being turned and now I was face to face with Philip.

"Lily don't close me off anymore. Let me in, I am here begging you to just trust me."

"Philip I feel so alone. I let everyone down and I tried to fix it but it seemed things are only getting worse. I didn't want to burden you with any of this because I was sure your parents would kick me out. I realized I didn't fully trust you when Adam came and told me good bye. He told me I needed to let go in order to move forward with you."

"I didn't understand what he meant until now when I see this look in your eyes that I need to trust you. To know that you will be able to know where any of this could go. I know I made a mistake cutting you off and I am sorry. I have never been able to give someone my complete trust before but I believe I can give that to you and not have to worry about being hurt."

"Lily I give you my whole heart and trust. I know that you will never hurt me and if bad times ever do happen that you will stand beside me. I will be there to do the same thing for you."

He looked into my eyes and slowly leaned in and kissed me. I felt all my issues go away with this one kiss. It was like I had been missing out on something and now I had found it.I was feeling the last few weeks go away and I was hoping this would be a good place to start over.

"I am sorry that it took me so long to finally open up to you. I feel like so much heartache could have been spared if I only told you sooner."

"It is better that we found out now before it was to late."

I was the one person holding back from letting this relationship go anywhere and I was willing to blame everyone but myself. Now that I could see I was the only one holding myself from letting go, I was able to feel the love that he was trying to show me along. I was my own worse enemy.

"I was hurting both of us and now I can see I need to let go and go with what life throws at us in order to make everything work."

Philip just gave me a hug and took my hand and pulled me out of the room. I knew it was now time to get out of the four walls that I had grown accustomed too these last weeks. I was letting go and trusting Philip for the first time since I got here.

"Where are we going?"

"You will have to wait to see."

I didn't question him anymore, I was just going with the flow even if I was still curious as to where we were going,I knew it wouldn't be any place dangerous. We walked into a sitting area and I saw his family was all in the room doing different activities. His mother was doing a needlepoint and Elizabeth was playing the piano in the corner. His father was just sitting there taking it all in. He was the first one to notice us walk into the room and my heart sank a little when I saw everyone because it was the first time in weeks and it was still a little awkward. It was like Philip could tell how I felt and he squeezed my hand to let me know that it would all be okay.

"I wanted to let everyone know at one time that father and I had a conversation this afternoon. I told him about the promise I made to Lily and how I wanted to hold true to it. I couldn't marry someone unless they felt the same about me as I do them and we have come to an understanding. I want everyone to stop treating Lily like she did something wrong. I should be the one that everyone is blaming. If you don't want to blame me then there will be no one to blame and we will leave this as nothing happened."

The King did give me a nod and I gave one back to him. The tension in the air seemed to be calming down and Elizabeth went back to playing the piano. I knew it would take more time and us being alone for things to be back to the same with us. The Queen put down her needlepoint and came over to Philip and myself. I wasn't sure what she was going to do but she pulled me into a hug.

"I am sorry that I have been pushing you away I just didn't want my son to get hurt and in the end I ended up hurting you."

"It is fine. I didn't help the matter by pushing away and locking myself up in my room."

We both smiled and she went back to where she was sitting before. I looked over to Philip and he was smiling at me. I mouthed a thank you to him. Since the first time I moved in here I felt welcomed and at home.

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