Chapter 19

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I couldn't believe that Elizabeth had lied to me. Why would she let me believe that Phillip was going back to his old ways? This was too much for me, I made a decision of coming back because I didn't like how Phillip was making me feel. Now I was back here and I wasn't sure I fully belonged here. I didn't know where I really belonged anymore. I was still trying to figure it all out. I made a decision that I thought would bring me back to how things were before like nothing happened. Now I had more questions and Phillip wasn't giving me the answers to solve anything.

"Phillip I am more confused now than ever. I made a decision to leave to come home because I couldn't find the way to feel welcomes. When I went to stay at my parents place before the ball I had a feel I would be returning home. I loved being around my mom and dad and just having a simple stress free life again. Then when I saw you at the ball something in my chest told me I couldn't let you go but then having you leave I knew I needed to go back to my simple life."

"Lily I left the ball that night to grab the ring from my mother. I was going to ask you to marry me and have you make the choice. Elizabeth was in on the plan actually everyone was in on the plan. She was to keep you busy until the last dance. It was when the song ended that I was going to get down on one knee in front of everyone. I wanted the kingdom to know that I wanted to stand by my side and rule the kingdom with me. So when I saw Adam I was concerned and when you choice him to spend the last dance with him I wondered where I went wrong."

I felt horrible now. He had planned the most romantic evening for me and my family was a part of it and I let my insecurities get to me and decided I would leave. I knew I would miss him I could tell I had feelings for him the minute I stepped into the ball and saw him. There was something there that I had never felt before. Since being back and not having him around I knew that I was right and I wouldn't find again and would give me that feeling. I didn't want to settle because I knew that now no matter where I went I would be settling. Phillip challenged me and that is what I needed and wanted in life.

"Why would Elizabeth do all of this?"

"She knows that when I take over my rule she will have to be married soon after. I would need to secure a treaty with a marriage to a power country. She wasn't happy about that coming sooner than she was hoping so my guess is she was doing everything in her power to make sure that my rule was delayed as long as it could. I am so mad about it all because I almost lost you."

He reached for my hand and I flinched back a little. I still wasn't ready to fully ready to trust everything he had said. I was close to Elizabeth there and she felt like a sister to me. I couldn't see her trying to destroy what I believed could be forever. She knew how much I liked her brother and how close we had gotten to each other. I didn't even realize that the food was here already. I started to play with the food and push it around. I wasn't hungry. I didn't think food was going to help me with anything going on right now.

"Lily I came here to this world to find you and get you to come back with me. I know it is going to take some time to prove to you that I mean it all and that I do love you." Parts of me believed him but parts of me just couldn't trust him. I put my trust in him before. I wished there was a way to confront Elizabeth to find out who is telling me the complete truth. I just wanted out of here. I stood from the table and I could see Kara and John looking at me. I needed my space from everyone. I grabbed my jacket and purse and made my way out of the restaurant. I didn't care what it looked like to my best friend I just had to go. I started walking down the road I knew there was a little park down the road. I made my way there and went to sit on the swings. I started to move my legs and get the swing going up and up. It brought me back to my childhood where the only issues were who was going to get picked last and making sure I wasn't late to dinner. I was just letting myself get lost in my own thought.

I knew that I would have to go home eventually and it would be a long walk to my house. I figured the walk would be nice but I still dreaded it a little. I just kept swinging no one was around and it was peaceful to hear the animals and the wind blowing. I knew I could lose track of time and just be. It has been a long time since I had just gone with the flow. I didn't even notice that someone was sitting on the swing next to me. It scared me when I did see someone sitting there. It took me a few seconds for me to figure out that it was Phillip.

"Hey didn't see you there."

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I know that it has been a difficult night."

"Yea I am fine. I just needed some space to think. I just wish there was a way to go back and question Elizabeth." I knew that wasn't possible. Once I choose Adam I picked to come back to this time I knew I couldn't go back that was the decision I made.

"There may be a way to get back. You will have another decision that needs to be made. I don't know when it is or who it is with." There would be another decision, I don't think I could go through this. When would something be permanent?

"How this was supposed to be permanent and I couldn't change it."

"By me coming here I change the course for you to choose another option if you wanted too." I knew now that my next decision would be probably around the dance. It would be just like the ball I was thinking.

"Well I guess I need to figure things out then. Would you like to walk me home?" I was offering him a way to get to know him like I use to and see if he is genuine.

"Yes I would like that."

"It could be a long walk."

"Well I am okay with that." We got off the swings and made our way out of the park. I couldn't help but smile because it felt like I was getting a reset button with Phillip.

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