A Trip In Time

Chapter 9

"I am sorry that I was late. I lost track of time."

"Please have a seat."

I did what I was told and watched the servants bring over the food. It was a quiet meal and it was awkward and I felt like I was failing once again. Dinner ended and I made my way up to my room. This has been the pattern for the last few weeks with me not talking with anyone and spending my time in my room. It wasn't the exciting life I was hoping to have here but the King only saw me as someone willing to break an agreement and the Queen saw me as someone who wanted more than just her son. I was the one holding off from Elizabeth which in turn just made her distance herself from me. Leaving Philip in the middle of all of this, which only made me feel worse. I passed the servants not saying a word, they were looking at me and I knew there was gossip going around the castle but it no longer concerned me.

I was going to find out how to get home and leave this place because it has felt like this world had turned against me and nothing I was doing was the right way. I felt helpless and what was worse I had no one to talk too. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me or treat me different so I just put on a brave face and went through my day. I would find different things to keep me busy so my mind wouldn't think about it. People would ask me if everything was alright and I would give them the generic programmed response. I felt like I was a robot and I wanted out of it. I was working on a needle point when I heard a knock on the door. I figured it was a servant with those being the only people who came near my door.

"Come in."

"Why are you so sad looking?"

My head popped up because that wasn't the same questioned that was asked when someone entered my room. I was just so use to the is there anything I can help you with miss, that it took me by surprise that someone else wanted to actually talk and see me. Seeing a friendly face made everything better, I missed having Adam around and it was like he knew.

"Adam?!"

"Hey I heard you were having a rough time here and I figured I would stop in and see how you were truly doing."

I gave him a little smile but I knew I wouldn't be able to do my charade with him. He would know right away that I wasn't being honest with him. I decided it would be nice to finally talk to someone about what was really happening here. 

"How do you always know when I am down?"

"I have always been able to tell when you are upset. Plus I heard the rumors going around town about how things aren't as happy as everyone would like people to think."

So now the news traveled to the town. I am sure that in no time my parents would be here to tell me how much I disappoint them and how much I have screwed up. I tried to not let the news he just told me show on my face but that was hard.

"Well what have you heard? I can tell you if it is true or not."

"I know one thing is not true. They are saying you are locked up in the dungeon which I can see if wrong. Did you really tell the King you wouldn't marry Philip?"

"No I just said how Philip would give me the choice to choose if I wanted to marry him or not. Of course that wasn't the right thing to say. I know I must seem like such a failure to my family and to you. I didn't mean to screw up but it was brought up about us being married and Philip had promised me that I would be able to say yes or no."

"Don't worry Lily we can leave if you want. I will go any where with you."

"I can't Adam that would only make things worse. The King sees me as someone who won't follow through with an agreement and the Queen sees me as someone who doesn't want her son."

"How does Philip and Elizabeth see this all?"

"I am not talking to Elizabeth because of something she did which in turn makes her not talk to me. Philip is stuck in the middle of this all and that only makes me feel worse. I would never want anyone to choose between their family and me."

That is when the tears started to fall and I couldn't seem to turn them off. I hated how people's lives were going to be changed by all of this because of something I had in my heart.

"Lily don't worry. I am sure everything will work out in the end."

"I'm not so sure. I thought I had lost everything. I hated not having you to talk too because that was the worse part you were right in the end because I don't have a say in who I spend the rest of my life with."

"This was the one thing I was hoping I would be wrong with how this would all go. I want you to be happy and I know that Philip could be that guy can you put your trust in him like you do with me."

I had known him for what seemed like my whole life that is why I could put my trust in him. I was trying to trust Philip but then my mouth got in the way. I couldn't just agree with his father and let him prove that what Philip told me was true. I didn't put my trust in Philip like I should have in that moment.

"I do trust him but then my mouth got in the way and I had to put space between us. I don't want to divide a family and I feel if I stay here that is what will happen."

"Lily that isn't what I mean. You need to trust him and tell him how you feel. Open up to him, if you are destined to be married then you will want to be able to tell him how you feel. I know I should keep my mouth shut and take you away like you want but I can't, I want to make sure that you are happy with all decisions that you have in front of you."

He was staring out the window and I knew he wanted to take me away from here and make me feel better. Adam had always been that person for me and I knew I was always be protected when he was around.

"Adam how can I let someone in when I don't know if they will be there to protect me. You have been a rock for me and now I don't know how to put that trust in someone else."

"Lily you need to let me go just like I need to let you go."

Adam was still looking out the window. I knew this was hard for him and that is why he couldn't look at me. This felt like our relationship was coming to an end and I didn't know how to react.

"Adam is this where we end?"

Now he turned around and looked me in he eyes. I knew right then and there that I had just gotten my answer. This was the end for us at least for now. A part of me was still hoping that my gut feeling was wrong and he would tell me no this isn't where we would end.

"I hate to say this but yes. For now our relationship has to end here and you need to see where things could go with Philip and I am going to push you into trying."

He came over gave me a hug and then went out the door. I watched the door close and I was still in shock. Adam was gone and he thought he was doing the best for me but I felt like he was wrong and now I was completely alone and had no where and no one to turn too.