The Promise (Published under LIB)

Chapter 11

JESELLE’s POV

Ngayon ay nandito ako naglalakad habang tinitignan ang mga batang naglalaro sa damuhan. Ang mga pamilyang nagpipicnic sa mapupunong spasyo ng Luneta Park. Iba’t ibang lahi ang aking nakikita ngayon, may mga hapon, koreano at mostly mga travellers. Mostly sa kanina ay nakaback-pack na katulad ni Dora the explorer. May nakasalubong akong dalawang bata, tumingin sila sa akin at nginitian ko sila, ganoon din ang ginawa ko ng mapatingin ako sa mga magulang nito. The mother and the father were holding each other’s hand as if caring for it not to break it down. I gave them a sweet smile. Ang makabou ng pamilya ay malamang isang pangarap namin dalawa ni Bryan, a sudden thought that came into my mind. I shrugged it off. And focused on a bagay na kailangan kong gawin ngayon.

Alam kong ito ang tamang gawin at napagdesisyunan ko na ito ng boung puso. There is no turning back, even if I know he holds a big part of me and it takes a long time before I saw him again, siguro ay hindi lang talaga tama ang timing ng pagdating niya sa buhay ko. I walk briskly. This is what I believe is right even if it hurts me but I know there is someone who’s hurting more than me.

At a distance ay nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa isang bench. I studied him while I’m standing from afar. I took a deep breath and finally I walked towards him. I smiled at him. As he saw me approaching he stand from his seat and greeted me with sweet smile painted on his face in an instant.

“Hi.”

“Hello,” I greeted back.

“Can we sit here?” I asked looking at Shaun’s face examining it and wondering if theres something happendes after Bryan punched her. Pero parang okay naman siya, so don’t you worry.

Umupo ako at sya naman ay tinititigan lang ako at ng mapansin ko siyang nakatingin lang sa akin ay inoffer ko sa kanya ang kabilang side ng bench at para naman makaupo siya. He sat down. In the middle silence lies as if no one wants to breaks it until I got the courage to do so.

“Shaun,” he looked at me and I took a deep breath picking up words in my thoughts

            “Yes, Jeselle?” His lips curved and formed an arc. I saw he is smiling again. I paint a smile on my face, the sweetest smile I could muster before I let my words out of my mouth.

“I’m meaning to tell you this.”

“What is it?” I saw his forehead frowned.

“Maraming nangyari this past few weeks, alam mo yun,” I started.

“May mga bagay bagay na sa una ay hindi ko nakita at narealize. Nagkita ulit tayo, after so many years without even realizing and knowing what really happened between us before at dahil doon ay napako ang atensyon ko sa isang bagay na ang akala ko ay importante sa akin, na pakiramdam ko ay ito ang makakapagbalik ng dating ako. Pero nagkamali ako.”

I saw his turned into cloudy one but instead of stopping and catching my breath I continued.

“I bet you don’t know, that I had an amnesia.”

“You had?” he ask na parang di makapaniwala pero ang nagawa ko lang ay ang tumango as a response to his question.

“On the night we met again, I didn’t told you. Because there were many thoughts running on my mind and mixed emotions that jostling inside of me, in my brain” I catch my breath. I expect him to speak but I hear nothing from him but instead he was looking down at his hand that holding each other.

“There was a part of me that is clinging into my past memories of you, the ones that I remember. At noong makita kita ang akala ko mabobou mo ang kulang sa pagkatao ko pero akala ko lang pala yun. Oo, masaya na nakita kita ulit but,” I catch my breath again, “…but I think you came back in the wrong time and everything wasn’t on it’s right timing making everything wrong. And I know I made a mistake because I hurt the feelings of the man who loves me and I loved back then. I am sorry Shaun but I want to figure out my life without you. I want feel those years that you were gone and Bryan was the one on my side. I am sorry.” I looked at him but he fell silent. At a moment silence creeps once again between us. I stand up and looked at him for the last time, he looked at me as I stand on my ground towering over him.