Crazy

#33

04/24/2017

It can't be.

I woke up with a smile on my face. Last night was amazing. But it was short-lived because my happiness was immediately replaced with dread when I didn't find her beside me.

"Babe?" I called loudly.

There was no response.

"Babe? Mika?!" I tried again as I hastily stood up.

I took an oversized shirt from my closet and wore it before I went out of the bedroom to look for her. But everything was as it was - the food was still on the table, untouched, the bouquet on the table as well, and the balloons were still on the ceiling.

No notes on the balloons, I noticed. But no Mika as well.

My heart started pounding forcefully and I ran back to the bedroom to get my phone and call her.

But on the bedside table, under my phone, was an envelope with these words written on it:

I love you, Alyssa Valdez.

Plain and simple but I could recognize Mika's handwriting.

I opened it with anxiety and fear.

A tear-stained, hastily written letter was inside.

Alyssa Valdez,

Babe, thank you for last night. Thank you for making me feel loved and letting me love you in every way possible. You don't know how happy you've made me. I will be forever grateful that you were my first, my last, and my only one. I love you.

I'm sorry I had to leave. Masakit ang iwan ka pero kailangan ko. Habang maaga pa, habang kaya ko pa. I'm sorry I couldn't stay. I can't bear to see you watch me die.

Because that's the truth.

I'm dying.

I'm leaving because I'm dying and I'd rather die alone than cause you, my family, and my friends, pain.

I'm sorry, Babe. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess.

Forgive me.

I love you.

Always yours,
Mika Aereen Reyes

What the fuck did I just read?! I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

I changed clothes and hastily washed up while trying to reach her through the phone but it seemed to have been turned off. I kept trying to reach her as I made my way to her condo only to find it empty with a lot of her personal things missing.

Her family. She must be with her family.

I drove there ignoring the abnormal rate of my heart or the fear that has been wanting to eat me alive. She must be there. She's there, I believed it.

But when I arrived there and found all of her family members crying on their porch, I stood frozen in my spot. I didn't want to approach them. I didn't want to hear anything because I was afraid of what they might say.

It was Miko who noticed me.

Miko's eyes were red as if he was trying really hard not to cry. He approached me slowly.

"Ate Ly," he sounded so broken.

"Miko, s-si Ate mo?" I stuttered.

"Ate Ly, umalis na siya."