Brutally Honest Reviews™

The Single Bxxch Club

Word Count: 1947

Title: The Single Bxxch Club ~NEW TITLE(?)~ Bitch(es) Spells/ Trouble

Genre: Humor

Blurb:  Why should a single girl be considered to be socially awkward?            Or a typical four eyed nerd taking up space on planet earth with her 'precious' dorky collection of Harry Potter and One Direction nonsense?           Girls of all sizes and colours of the spectrum, I'm here to prove you all wrong. This 'singlehood', apparently, has another branch...         These four teen goddesses have bodies to die for. They are the real popular kids and are at the top of their game.         So what's the problem?        They are complete bitches. Period.         Through the creation of this 'club' we're going to understand why they're single...and so bloody sour.

~NEW BLURB~

ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ (ᴜɴᴅᴏᴜʙᴛᴇᴅʟʏ) sɪɴɢʟᴇ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ ɪs ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ ғᴏʀ ᴋᴇʏᴀɴᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴛᴇʀ, sᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏғғ sᴇɴɪᴏʀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ғʀᴇsʜ sᴇᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴀɪʟ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴄʀᴀsʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ sᴘᴀᴍ ɪɴʙᴏx. ɴᴏᴡ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ғᴏʀ ғᴏᴜʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴛʜᴇ 'sᴘɪᴛᴇғᴜʟɴᴇss' ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ʀᴏᴏғ.          ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ʙɪᴛᴄʜᴇs sᴘᴏɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴏᴛ?                                                   ɪ ʙᴇɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪғғᴇʀ-ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴜᴘ!                                 ᴜʜ . . . ɪs ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴍᴏᴋᴇ?

Status: Ongoing

~

Starting Points: 30

Cover: It's okay, but I guess it'll do. However, the meaningless blank space at the top is kind of annoying to look at if I'm going to be picky--and we all know I am. No points lost though.

Title: The old title was okay, besides from the unnecessary censorship of the word "bitch". The new one is a whole other...thing. For starters, the grammar is off which is a poor first impression for new readers who notice it. The "(s)" after spells isn't needed. I've tried reading this title in six different ways, and none of them make logical sense either. Three minutes of my time went into trying to understand what this title is even trying to say, and now I hate myself for it. Basically, it's a mess. Sort it out. (-2)

Summary: A steaming pile of rubbish. Can't put it any simpler than that. Neither of these summaries would have gotten me, and I'm sure a lot of other readers, to read this. But hey, this is Wattpad and my standards of a good summary probably exceeds a lot of people's definitions. That sounds super pretentious and poses as an ambiguous insult now that I read it over, but so do most of these reviews. Har har har. *Stares into camera*

-The amount of times I do this isn't quantifiable, but I usually shrug it off and continue typing as I please. The only difference now is that I decided to give you all a peak of my headass thoughts that I tend to edit out during these reviews. You're welcome! *Grins*

- Fuck. I'm getting offtrack again.

-Anyway, ignoring the original summary--the new one rises more confusion than interest from me. I guess I can entertain the idea of a "single bitches club", if I ignore all of the negative stigma that seems to be attached to it. Besides from that, I'll take the time to complain about something minor because I find it amusing. Here goes! Something about this premise reminds me of something horribly familiar. Familiar as in a teen-flick from the mid-90s or early 2000s that lacks realism to the real high school experience. Mostly because of the bizarre and ancient use of "hate-mail". Unless the audience is going to follow the story of some weird Hollywood clique where all these women/girls get "hate-mail" for some unidentified reason...then okay? Hypothetically, I can go with it. Naturally, my brain tries to pinpoint a time frame for the plot, and this doesn't sound very 2010s. Maybe in this universe the characters still use AOL for some horrible reason? I don't know, just trying to make sense of the use of "hate mail". Odd choice, really. There is a lot more wrong going on in this blurb, but you didn't ask for summary help so... boop! (-10)